Please could someone help?!

[HunniBee]

Evening everyone,

I'm hoping someone might be able to help me....I've not been on here for a while as things have been going well :)

Thing is I've had a temp job but recently got a permanent job which is great as its stability for me which I need. I started on 23rd March, brand new team, brand new contract which went live yesterday and we all completely smashed it which was really great, I was so happy and ever since ive started ive been really happy, I've had nothing but shit from previous jobs and never getting anywhere so this is all new to me.

To get to the point, I had a meeting with my manager today & he said how impressed he is with me and how he thinks that I would be great for the supervisor/team leader role which may be coming up in the next few month and I was chuffed to bits but ever since then ive been getting a feeling of dread and fear mixed which mild panic...tummy knots, sweats, constantly restless and pacing feeling like I want to run and I just don't understand where it's suddenly come from. I'm really happy, our team are perfect, we all get along so so well, we bounce off one another so why would I want to run? There's no possible reason!! I just want this feeling to go away and not ruin the one good thing I feel so positive about.

It's weird feeling so happy and positive yet so confused and conflicted...I'm hoping someone can shed some kind of light or help?

Much appreciated.

HB xx

[Dazza123]

As someone that suffers with GAD, responsibility is one thing I cannot cope with, so I wonder if this is it, the responsibility that will come with the position?

You will no doubt be great at it, so try to focus on what it can bring you, rather than any negatives and good luck if it happens :)

[HunniBee]

Thank you and I don't know if that's what it is I just feel like I need to get out and I have no idea where it comes from.

Like I've woken up this morning in a sheer state of panic, stomach knotting, heart pounding and I just can't figure out why :(
Am I finally going crazy?!

HB xx

[Emilym80]

Maybe you're feeling anxious because there might be some pressure for you to perform at this new job?

I don't think you're going crazy, just nervous about the added responsibility of your new job. I know I felt ill through basically all of year 12, even though my exams were months away, because of the pressure. Try and get enough sleep, exercise and manage your stress. Congratulations on the good news, I'm sure you'll be great!

Take care :)

[HauntMuskie]

Panic attacks can happen for NO reason at all (so can anxiety) I had one once, when I was in my car on along drive (I was not the one driving) and then BOOM!!! there it was... but there nothing to worry about just try to keep calm and it should not happen again.

Best wishes! :hugs:

[HunniBee]

Thanks everyone :) it's just the sudden change in moods that I just don't understand....

HB xx

[Dazza123]

Maybe its 'Change' that affects you, so at the minute life is going smoothly and this new job means great change in your life? Im sure its this or something similar because as you say you have been ok for a while.

Responsibility and change are hard to deal with for some people (like us) so its probably playing with you in the back of your mind.

You are not going crazy, we all think we are at times, but its just probably adrenaline pumping and revving you up for the change of life type of thing.

You will be fine, you know it and so does everyone else here, just have to get used to it and you will be great if it happens for you :hugs:

[MyNameIsTerry]

You are not going crazy, we all think we are at times, but its just probably adrenaline pumping and revving you up for the change of life type of thing.



Crikey Dazza, I think I must be going through the change!

I know what you mean, I struggle with change too. Not just because of my GAD but the OCD which makes me very repetitive in my daily routines.

HunniBee, this is natural for a lot of people but its the reaction that is intensified because of your previous anxiety.

Whatever the reason, what you could consider is testing the waters. Shadow one of the others, have a secondment, etc. You could easily find that you take to it and this way you get the option of backing out if you really have to or telling them you want it.

Progressing to management levels does sometimes mean losing friends but I've found that as long as you are no different, they won't be. There will be things they won't discuss in the presence of a manager but you can still have all the fun too. It can be more difficult when it comes to disciplinary actions but it depends on the individuals in question and if you get on well and they are good people, they would likely understand you are only doing your job and after a short time things tend to go back to normal.

[HunniBee]

Thank you everyone with your kind messages. It has helped me greatly.
I just don't want this to ruin my working life, you know when the feeling gets so out of control that you can't control it and you end up running away just to get rid of the feeling like I usually do.

It's like its telling me I'm not allowed to be happy...I'm trying my best to beat it and tell it that it is will not win but it's proving difficult!

HB xx

[HunniBee]

Thank you :)

See it's not the responsibility that scares me or anything like that, this anxiety has just come out of nowhere, it's the same feeling I get when I know I need to do something I don't want too, like I need to run away but there's nothing for me to run from so I'm completely confused.

I've been fine for ages even when first starting my new job but now it's like its just hit me like BAM! It's that kinda stomach knotting, heart racing sweaty feeling like when you are going on a blind date, when speaking in public kinda thing.

Just wish it would go away!! I know this is the best job ive ever had and I get along with everyone so why is my body perceiving this as a threat?! Am I not meant to be happy?

HB xx

[HunniBee]

Thanks Paul :)

I have got the job but at present it's just a standard role as he wants to see who sinks or swims and who proves themselves which I really want to show that I am so done who can do this.

I'm not sure if it's someone believing in me and knowing I can do something rather than people always thinking that I'm going to f**k up which I have done a lot in the past, excuse my French.

I'm sorry to hear about your job, but it's great you found a better job where I'm hoping you are happier?

HB xx

[HunniBee]

I'm glad you're good :)

Yeah I totally understand that change is difficult but we should embrace change as it can be mostly good.

Thanks for the offer of being there, it helps having someone to talk to is impartial to the whole situation. I just want to try and understand where this feeling has come from out of the blue but the more I try and assess it the more of a burden it becomes so maybe it's just best to just embrace it like change and ride it out as hard as it may be. Not sure if going to my doc and talking about it might help? I'm on Venaflaxine at present but most AD's have a habit of working their way out of my system and not working anymore probably why I get blips like this!

HB xx

[HunniBee]

Yes, trying to rationalise things does indeed make it worse, I should stop thinking why is this feeling here and how do I get rid of it, just let it be. It is what it is.
I'm hoping to go see my friend in Wales tomorrow as he understands all this as is going through it himself & said it may be good for me to have a change of scenery.

I'm guessing due to suffering from this before it has always been underlying and always been in the background, just triggers seem to set it off but I'm not too sure what they are. It mostly seems to come into play when I'm chilled and happy and just happily plodding along with life being myself.
I'm always chilling when I'm not at work, it's what I do best lol. But sometimes I find too much time to myself makes my brain tick away more so I do try and keep busy.

I'll try that meditation thing...but where would I start?

HB xx

[HunniBee]

Cheers Paul

HB xx

[HunniBee]

Ok so just had a panic attack due to parents arguing! It's bad enough I'm struggling with my anxiety at the moment :(

Feel so lost right now.

HB xx