Blonde&blueeyedgirl
05-04-15, 09:29
Hello everyone
This is my first post and I can't believe its about this and not something else
I am absolutely terrified.
I have been suffering for over three months with a horrendous hacking cough. I am asthmatic so just thought it was another infection. Usually when I take antibiotics and steroids it goes away pretty rapidly. This time however nothing has worked. Four lots of tablets later and it's still here. Two hospital admissions and they can't find the root of my infection.
I had bloods done in the hospital first time round they were normal, in the gp surgery the infection markers came back raised, two days later they are normal again. Then the other day I was at my wits end feeling horrendous. Constant coughing, feeling hot and constant nose blowing feeling full of mucus that I went back to the hospital as I wanted a repeat chest x Ray to put my mind at rest. They did the works. They were fantastic. But the doc said your bloods are normal again. But I want to do a HIV TEST. I was like erm ok.
Cue me absolutely now feeling horrendous. The wait is killing me. I know not everyone in their life Have been completely careful, But I am a good decent person with a good moral upbringing that if I have HIV I don't know what I will do.
My Job too will be affected and my partner now (he has kids from a previous marriage) he could now have it if I have it and then I will leave his kids without a dad and I will lose him too through probably utter disgust and hatred.
I am so so scared this is the end for me. I am so ashamed. I haven't slept since the hospital visit on Friday and feeling so rough with my illness anyway, it's just making it worse. What's worse is my family and everyone are being so so loving and running round after me saying oh why can't they find a cure for this. This has been going on ages. And now I'm thinking actually IT isn't my asthma or crap body its HIV. Who knows how long ive had it or who I got it from. Now I just want to end it all. I am only 32 and wanted babies and have an amazing career. Now I won't have that and my career I will have to give up.
I don't know what to do.
It's killing me also not knowing how i will get the results. The doctor in the hospital said he would phone me but because its Easter it won't be until after Tuesday will it !? Or will it go back to my gp surgery ?
I'm sorry for the long rant. It's just I have no one to turn to.
Please help someone
Thank you for your kindness in even reading this.
This is my first post and I can't believe its about this and not something else
I am absolutely terrified.
I have been suffering for over three months with a horrendous hacking cough. I am asthmatic so just thought it was another infection. Usually when I take antibiotics and steroids it goes away pretty rapidly. This time however nothing has worked. Four lots of tablets later and it's still here. Two hospital admissions and they can't find the root of my infection.
I had bloods done in the hospital first time round they were normal, in the gp surgery the infection markers came back raised, two days later they are normal again. Then the other day I was at my wits end feeling horrendous. Constant coughing, feeling hot and constant nose blowing feeling full of mucus that I went back to the hospital as I wanted a repeat chest x Ray to put my mind at rest. They did the works. They were fantastic. But the doc said your bloods are normal again. But I want to do a HIV TEST. I was like erm ok.
Cue me absolutely now feeling horrendous. The wait is killing me. I know not everyone in their life Have been completely careful, But I am a good decent person with a good moral upbringing that if I have HIV I don't know what I will do.
My Job too will be affected and my partner now (he has kids from a previous marriage) he could now have it if I have it and then I will leave his kids without a dad and I will lose him too through probably utter disgust and hatred.
I am so so scared this is the end for me. I am so ashamed. I haven't slept since the hospital visit on Friday and feeling so rough with my illness anyway, it's just making it worse. What's worse is my family and everyone are being so so loving and running round after me saying oh why can't they find a cure for this. This has been going on ages. And now I'm thinking actually IT isn't my asthma or crap body its HIV. Who knows how long ive had it or who I got it from. Now I just want to end it all. I am only 32 and wanted babies and have an amazing career. Now I won't have that and my career I will have to give up.
I don't know what to do.
It's killing me also not knowing how i will get the results. The doctor in the hospital said he would phone me but because its Easter it won't be until after Tuesday will it !? Or will it go back to my gp surgery ?
I'm sorry for the long rant. It's just I have no one to turn to.
Please help someone
Thank you for your kindness in even reading this.