Health anxiety and going on holiday

[snowflake293]

Hi guys

I am going on holiday in a few weeks time and I am mega nervous about what will happen if I have a 'freak out' whilst I am over there. I am super worried about getting ill (especially getting a tummy bug or something like that) as I will be in a new place won't feel 'safe' if that makes sense?

This is my first holiday since my HA has been bad and I really want to make it a good holiday for me and my bf but I am so, so frightened about either getting ill before we go and it ruining the holiday (really worried as I have a chest infection at the moment) or finding some sort of mole, lump etc... either the day before or whilst we are there!

I know this sounds totally irrational but it is just how I feel right now. I know I need to focus on the holiday and having fun but I am so wound up at the moment and paranoid something will go wrong.

Has anyone has this sort of panic/worry over going on holiday?

xx

[MyNameIsTerry]

I reckon a lot of us feel this way about going on holiday. Its riddled with "what ifs".

Your current infection issue can be treated now and if you are not 100% ok in 2 weeks you will certainly be well on the way to it so I think you need to look at how your asthma has been with previous infections and remember that the same applies now. Anxiety might have an impact on asthma, but it doesn't on an infection or the treatment of the infection.

So, consider that as being sorted and most likely resolved by then.

A great many people go abroad and never fall ill. Education about where you are going and the tourist do's & don't's can mitigate this.

The rest, as you know already, is the pure anxiety issue. If you feel a lump or a find a mole, address it in the same way as you would here by trying as hard as you can to accept that its just X and that doesn't not mean it is anything more. I know thats far far harder than it sounds but try to distract yourself and I'm sure your BF will help you to do this and support you out there.

[snowflake293]

Thanks, that makes a lot of sense. I am sure my chest/asthma will be loads better by then. I find with HA when I am distracted by something it eases off, so hopefully the excitement about going on holiday will take my mind of my worries.

It is definitely a control thing with me. I feel like getting ill is something I have no control over and I find it hard to accept that. Whenever a big occasion comes up like a wedding or a holiday I go into worry mode thinking I will be too ill to go. I know I need to accept things happen and sometimes we just get ill, but I find it really hard to accept.

Yeah my bf will definitely help. Hes been through HA himself and is incredibly patient. I can't imagine many people really being able to understand, but he does. I think I just need to totally distract myself from it between now and then.

Its like a case of knowing what I need to do, but I keep doing the stuff I am used to doing and it doesn't help. if I keep asking for comfort and reassurance I will never get better.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Thats great news that you have support (not great news your poor BF went through HA though, of course!). He will be ideally placed to help you through this as he will understand how you really feel more than any professional could.

Control is a big one with anxiety. A lot of it is fear on uncertainty. We get into a rthythm of goping from A to B, living in routines, etc and gradually our world gets that little bit smaller. A lot of it can be lack of confidence.

Don't be too hard on yourself about knowing what to do and not doing it. This is something all anxiety sufferers go through. How to recover is as simple as researching, reading and writing down the goals. Doing them is a whole different story and to be honest, if it wasn't, you wouldn't even have an anxiety disorder in the first place.

Its like how we can all help each other on here. Its easy to see peoples problems more clearly and make recommendations but we know that we would find it incredibly hard to do what we are saying.

Reassurance has to come from within, and it will in time.

If there are things that can distract when you are sitting about on holiday, take them with you. Keep your mind active in a positive way.

Also, accepting that anxiety is a possibility might be useful but perhaps those with HA will be better to advise on that.

[snowflake293]

Thats great news that you have support (not great news your poor BF went through HA though, of course!). He will be ideally placed to help you through this as he will understand how you really feel more than any professional could.

Control is a big one with anxiety. A lot of it is fear on uncertainty. We get into a rthythm of goping from A to B, living in routines, etc and gradually our world gets that little bit smaller. A lot of it can be lack of confidence.

Don't be too hard on yourself about knowing what to do and not doing it. This is something all anxiety sufferers go through. How to recover is as simple as researching, reading and writing down the goals. Doing them is a whole different story and to be honest, if it wasn't, you wouldn't even have an anxiety disorder in the first place.

Its like how we can all help each other on here. Its easy to see peoples problems more clearly and make recommendations but we know that we would find it incredibly hard to do what we are saying.

Reassurance has to come from within, and it will in time.

If there are things that can distract when you are sitting about on holiday, take them with you. Keep your mind active in a positive way.

Also, accepting that anxiety is a possibility might be useful but perhaps those with HA will be better to advise on that.

My boyfriend has GAD and HA was a part of this, hes been taking meds for about 18 months now though and feels much better. Hes not had any CBT though which worries me sometimes. He seems to be doing great though at the moment. It is good being with someone who understands but I do worry about his problems coming back and I worry that my HA and panic will trigger him :(

I definitely need to take it one step at a time and writing stuff down really helps. I guess I just want everything to happen at once and to just leap from my current situation into a life where HA doesn't exist, but I know that isn't possible so I must accept the situation for what it is and like you say, not be too hard on myself.

I am just scared of my HA wrecking our holiday. We've had it planned ages and spent a fair whack on it, we've both had a tough few months and I'd had to mess it all up now.

Going to put a plan in place for when I do get anxious while we're away, not constantly using my phone to Google stuff will help! I find physical activity really helps me and I am sure there will be loads of stuff to distract me while I'm away.

[Sunflower2]

I've been through this a number of times but with my OCD with germs, so can be a bit of a nightmare with feeling clean when I'm away from home! However, you will manage and you're so busy thinking of all the other new things, and you are out of normal routine so I find it easier to deal with. I also find that you end up creating your own safe place within somewhere new.

[MyNameIsTerry]

How about filling in some Thought Records and take them with you? I have a link to some templates if you need them? Use them to counteract the thoughts. Take some blanks and fill them in if writing helps so you can work on it.

I think your BF is a good example of how you can be. Is he worried about his HA flaring whilst on holiday? It doesn't sound like it. And he will know if you are likely to trigger him and if he has remaining well during all this, then I think you have the evidence that if his HA was triggered, its not going to be you that does it. Thats a really good sign of his progress as a partner at a worse stage can be a real hard issue in some relationships but I think the fact you know and are trying to work on your issues means he doesn't have the frustration that some have when partners are in denial over their anxiety.

Lets face it, if you were going to trigger him, him calling an ambulance would have been a panicky moment. It sounds like he handled it as anyone else would.

Let him lead you through the holiday. He understands and he knows how to help you.

A lot of CBT is common sense and people find their way out using it without realising. When I started CBT I found it easy to understand because I had worked in a profession that used similiar methods. Its very hard to do, but I understood the tools & techniques as they were trying to achieve a lot of what I was in my work. I think its the same with people who recover who don't have therapy, they read about it, pick things up, come to places like this, and they do it in a laymans way.

He could always grab a CBT book and follow it through. That way perhaps he prevents relapse by plugging the gaps in his knowledge?

---------- Post added at 11:56 ---------- Previous post was at 11:54 ----------


I've been through this a number of times but with my OCD with germs, so can be a bit of a nightmare with feeling clean when I'm away from home! However, you will manage and you're so busy thinking of all the other new things, and you are out of normal routine so I find it easier to deal with. I also find that you end up creating your own safe place within somewhere new.

Its funny but I'm like that. I find I won't perform a lot of my rituals if someone else is there. Its like the embarrassment would be worse and by subconscious just gives up! :D (this was back in the worst stages, thesedays I have a lot more control and much of it has gone)

[snowflake293]

Thanks Kimberly. That makes a lot of sense. I don't worry over germs but I am funny about order/tidying (it drives people mad) I actually find being away from home eases this a little as its 'someone else's thing to do' instead I tend to get obsessed over immaculate packing, re packing and copious lists of what I need. Typically I will repack a suitcase 4 or 5 times 'til it feels ok and will spend every minute at the airport worrying I have forgotten something.

Thanks terry - If you could post the link please that would be great. Willing to give anything a go if it will help :)

No he isn't worried at all about his HA flaring, not that he has said or shown anyway. I think he is over it now, more or less. He worries about me, but not because he thinks I have a serious physical problem, he worries about my mental health a lot and just wants to support me. He knows me better than anyone though and I definitely trust him. He really knows whats best and has helped me through some really difficult times.

Good idea about getting him to work though a CBT book. I will definitely suggest that too him. he seems to be doing so well at the moment. His problem was he would have panic attacks in public places like restaurants and cinemas. Hes not had a panic attack in well over a year now, I am very proud of him and seeing how hes getting through it all is a real encouragement.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Its inspirational to have someone like that. I used to go to walk in groups and meet a guy with a similar background to me whose was further ahead in recovery and it was a definite help to see someone real who is proof that things are not as they are in my head. This was before I joined this place and it's one of the reasons I joined.

He should be very proud of himself. Sounds like a good guy.

Here is the link:

http://psychology.tools/download-therapy-worksheets.html

Other people on her recommend the CBT courses on this website so its a useful resource.

There are several styles of Thought Record to choose from. When you click on them there will also be a example of how to use them.

I would encourage anyone to look at the tools on here. Some I remember using when I had CBT. There area also information sheets and there is a specific HA tool on there somewhere.

[snowflake293]

Thank you so much that is really useful. I think it helps to be prepared for my holiday and have a plan in place for is my HA rears its ugly head! The only prob I have with doing stuff like this is I will start doing it, maybe keep it up for a day or two but then I start to 'feel ok' and just ignore the thoughts 'til they build up into massive panic sessions! If I am gonna start filling stuff in I need to promise myself I will stick to it. I know it will do me good and I know it will work. Its a shame someone can't make a 'Health Anxiety Tracker App' for smartphones lol!!

Yeah he is a good guy and very very patient! hes had a lot go on in his past and that and I think its given him a lot of strength and wisdom. He could hardly function at one point and was very limited in what he does, but since all that he has moved to a new city (to live with me) got a new job here and it now thinking about returning to studying. He said he can't believe how much better he feels and it is so good seeing his confidence grow every day. He can recognise when I am going under too and knows what triggers me off. When his anxiety was bad mine was ok, so luckily I was able to be strong and support him. I do worry about what would happen if we were both bad at the same time but I guess its something I have to accept could happen one day! We would work through it I'm sure.

Definitely helps when you can talk to someone who can change the way you look at things. I feel for a lot of people on here who struggle with talking about it 'in real life' it can be very isolating if no one is there who understands. that's why NMP is so important I guess cause its a place where people can come for support when sometimes its harder to talk about it in real life.

[Izzie2494]

Hi! I felt exactly the same last time I went away! What I did was write down the worse case scenarios e.g - being sick, then what I can do if it does happen, therefore if I do come across a scary situation I already have my plan of action written down! Hope you have a lovely holiday xxx

[snowflake293]

Thanks Izzie, its awful isn't it? At a time when we are supposed to be thinking about cocktails in the sunshine we are worrying over choking to death on a prawn or falling of a horse (actually got real fears about those things happening!) think is, I love prawns and I love horse riding, so I will still eat prawns and ride horses :)

I think my biggest fear is having a freak out over something whilst I'm there and not being able to see a dr. I wouldn't see a dr where I am going cause I just don't wanna go there. If I was ill with a tummy bug or sommat that is different but if I find a lump or mole I am just gonna wait 'til I am home. I know how the health service works here and feel safer with it.

I recently found a mole on my backside (lol) and seriously went into massive panic, convinced it was melanoma! just so scared of another mole popping up :( argh!