lifeisabullet89
06-04-15, 20:31
Hi I'm Nathan I've been on this website for a while and only tend to post threads when I'm feeing really low. Lately I've found my self feeling hopeless and scared in relation to my life as a whole. It doesn't help that I'm worried about this week. It's my birthday on the 8 April and I will be 26, this scares the hell out of me. It's not so much the fact that I'm afraid of growing old but the fact I am still in the same place I was several years ago. Still afraid of large groups of people, still struggling to find a girlfriend, still worrying about every little thing, still with a pessimistic/self loathing attitude, still finding it hard to be independent, still wishing things would change...etc
The hardest thing for me is the fact that I know ways of helping my self, and I am trying to help my self with anti-depressants and counselling sessions but because of this negative outlook and generally how depressed I feel, it tends to over-power the positives in my life (which I SHOULD be focussing on).
I find my self at work being bombarded by thoughts trying to criticise and over analyse my every task. I challenge this the best I can but I always end up with a headache afterwards.
When I go into a supermarket to do the occasional shop I find my self bombarded with thoughts that make me feel paranoid and edgy, and make tasks like buying a small list worth of groceries a huge challenge. Most of the time I zone out in an attempt to deal with the situation which certainly doesn't help things.
However I will say I do have a lot to be thankful in my life I have supportive parents who not only will listen to me rant and rave about how I feel but are happy with me living at home, I have a steady job, a car, a good group of friends and I'm not in debt. All those are huge positives for me.
So your probably wondering why I posted this as I am getting help and support, it's basically to get these negative thoughts out of my head. As pretty much 90% of my posts are usually about that. It's a bonus that you guys read it, and even more of a bonus when you reply to these threads. It certainly makes me feel a lot better to know people empathise with me and are willing to take the time to try and help me out.
Sorry for rambling on as usual. If anyone can relate to what I am saying I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks again
Nathan
The hardest thing for me is the fact that I know ways of helping my self, and I am trying to help my self with anti-depressants and counselling sessions but because of this negative outlook and generally how depressed I feel, it tends to over-power the positives in my life (which I SHOULD be focussing on).
I find my self at work being bombarded by thoughts trying to criticise and over analyse my every task. I challenge this the best I can but I always end up with a headache afterwards.
When I go into a supermarket to do the occasional shop I find my self bombarded with thoughts that make me feel paranoid and edgy, and make tasks like buying a small list worth of groceries a huge challenge. Most of the time I zone out in an attempt to deal with the situation which certainly doesn't help things.
However I will say I do have a lot to be thankful in my life I have supportive parents who not only will listen to me rant and rave about how I feel but are happy with me living at home, I have a steady job, a car, a good group of friends and I'm not in debt. All those are huge positives for me.
So your probably wondering why I posted this as I am getting help and support, it's basically to get these negative thoughts out of my head. As pretty much 90% of my posts are usually about that. It's a bonus that you guys read it, and even more of a bonus when you reply to these threads. It certainly makes me feel a lot better to know people empathise with me and are willing to take the time to try and help me out.
Sorry for rambling on as usual. If anyone can relate to what I am saying I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks again
Nathan