rant about moles...

[snowflake293]

Hi all

Had a mole on my bum cheek a few weeks ago that I'd not noticed before. Showed the dr, she said it was fine. Last week though the top layer of it (which was quite dark) came off, leaving a paler mole underneath. Its still the same size and hasn't grown in the last 2 weeks. Its not red or sore or anything like that. It just worries me cause it is a weird shape, its almost like two tiny moles together or a bit of an upside down horseshoe shape. It looks less worrying now the darker layers come off.

I exfoliate a lot so I think its possible I irritated a mole. Of course now I am worrying again. Grrr.

I am noticing I have become obsessed with moles, not just on me, but on others too! I am going on holiday in a few weeks and I am so scared of getting sunburn! So much for coming back with a tan I will be covered head to toe in factor 50!

I wish I could stop with all this. A dr looked at it for heavens sake and I still worry. I actually go to the toilet sometimes specifically to 'have a look' at my moley little friend on my backside. It is really stupid and I am sick of worrying over it.

I am just so mega paranoid over moles and skin cancer, probably more than any other cancer. I feel like every day theres a new mark, lump or bump that is so tiny and almost certainly harmless but my mind turns it into this massive monster that will end up killing me.

Annoyed cause I was supposed to have a CBT session today but had to stay at home cause I'm not well.

Stupid blinking HA! :mad: you think you are over one worry and then your brain is like "hang on.... what if...?" its driving me potty.

Also I am finding I am feeling really paranoid about other things in my life now too, mainly stuff about work (worrying I am always in trouble when I am not) and my BF. Hes wonderful and has given me no cause to worry whatsoever but I just worry sometimes that things are going "too well" sometimes and feel terrified or sommat going wrong. I think that's what the HA is all about... I can't help thinking worst case scenario all the time :wacko:

Can anyone relate to this?

[miseria]

Hi snowflake, I can totally relate to what you're going through, I've just submitted a post about fear of melanoma myself :P

Moles do change over time, I also have a few which got much lighter / smaller during the years, some of them even disappeared. The doctor told me that hormonal changes in the body can also cause moles to change / new ones to appear. What you can do is to take a picture of it now, then a couple of weeks later and see if there has been any change. Also I think it's worth asking a dermatologist about it to give you peace of mind, they see these things every day and they should know what to do (it might not even be a mole).

Whenever I get suspicious about a mole I simply get it removed because otherwise it drives me crazy. I collected quite many scars because of that, but at least it leaves no room for "what ifs"...I'm probably not the best person to give you advice on this right now, but I know exactly how you feel. I hope you can enjoy your holidays, don't let that mole take over your life, I'm sure you're going to be alright!!

[snowflake293]

Thanks for your reply :)

I don't want to see a dermatologist and get it removed. I am trying to learn to trust my GP at the moment and I know if she was in the slightest bit concerned she would have referred me to a dermatologist. My father had a strange mole thing on his head once and the GP sent for him to have it whipped off and it was fine :)

I have a lot of moles too and I am just gonna keep an eye on them.

Moles are horrible little things aren't they? How can something so small worry us so much! Hope your fear eases soon :)

[miseria]

Thanks, I feel much better now! Of course I still need to wait for the biopsy results, but I decided to ignore the surgeon's comments and think of what the dermatologist said.

I wish I had a GP like yours, mine is the worst ever so I don't use public healthcare anymore :P If you feel like you can trust her, you definitely should, it seems like she takes these things seriously enough. Most of them here don't even want to see you before you're already dead...

Keeping an eye on it is a good strategy, just don't obsess too much over it (when I'm worried about a mole I check it all the time until it drives me crazy, another reason why I prefer to get them removed).

The best thing to do is to take a picture of it and forget about it for now. And if you worry about it again later, you can just take another one and compare them. I decided to start doing this myself, because at times it's really difficult to tell if a mole has changed or not...let's see if it helps. At the moment I'm thinking of getting all my suspicious looking moles removed, but that would mean having 14 scars on my body in total (yay for having a 100 moles) so that might be a little extreme.

I know I should go to therapy but I cannot afford it (it's 100€ per session) and my wonderful GP doesn't want to refer me anywhere as usual, even though it would be close to free in public healthcare. Do you have any tips for dealing with this? Or techniques that work for you? This has been going on long enough and I want to put an end to it, because it's ruining my life.

[Emilym80]

I can certainly relate to this! I have a hideous one on my arm, big, red/pink/brown bits etc... and my gp wasn't concerned when we last spoke. I'll probably get it removed though for cosmetic reasons if nothing else.

[snowflake293]

Trusting my GP is a big thing. Not sure how the health systems work in other countries, but here if a GP is worried about a mole I am pretty sure they refer you to a dermatologist and you get seen within two weeks. It sounds like things are much tougher like that where you are.

I do feel I have obsessions over moles that come and go. At the moment I am freaking out about suddenly dying (really!!) so the mole worry is on a backburner if that makes sense?

Although I looked at my bottom mole earlier in a different kind of light and thought to myself "what the hell was I worrying over?!"

I have a horrible big warty mole on my shoulder. About the size of a pencil eraser, possibly bigger. Light brown with a dark brown in the middle. Had it all my life though and its never changed so it doesn't freak me out. I've also got this weird scaly bumpy patch on my head which I used to pick at loads but since I stopped it has gotten much less scaly and sore. Had it years and had it checked out twice. I get grey hairs growing out of it now lol! Used to freak out over it big time but just accepted I have some strange moles and skin anomalies :) doesn't mean any of them are gonna kill me, but always best to get things checked.

[Worrygal]

Currently going through the exact same situation. I have a mole on my leg which I've had checked by a doctor who wasn't concerned. Slightly less than a pencil eraser but a bit 'blurry' almost - the only one like it I have.

I'm only 22 so haven't had mega sun exposure apart from a few girly holidays in which I always wear cream though I did get a lot of sun last year. I also tan pretty well which is why I never really considered melanoma until my HA kicked in full throttle last year. To amplify the situation also have recently found very small palpable lymph nodes everywhere to which my doctor thinks are not concerning (even in light of the mole) but is sending me to see a hemotologist for my own peice of mind (she's sick of seeing me). I've had one of these nodes for 6 years and it hasn't killed me yet so fingers crossed it's just my strange anatomy.

So I'm going to get a second opinion on it all from a very experienced doctor to see what he thinks - then trusting his word I am going to try and put this all behind me. I've unforunately started worrying about family members' moles who think I'm nuts!!!

Can't really help you, but we'll probably both be fine!! (In my head I've also had HIV, diabetes, various other forms of skin cancer, leukemia and lymphoma this year and I've bounced back pretty well from those haha).

If anyone has any tips on coping with anxiety pre CBT that would be very much appreciated??

Wishing you the best of luck with it all!!

[Fishmanpa]

I had to giggle about you calling it your "moley little friend" :D It makes it sound like you have a relationship with it. You even take time out of your day to say hi! Perhaps treat yourself and your "moley little friend" to dinner and a movie... although it won't be able to watch or eat being trapped in your bloomers :whistles:

I make light but I'm serious too in that your HA is talking nonsense to you. You elude to that much on your post. At least you know it's your anxiety and that's actually a positive. You're not spiraling out of control like you were a few weeks ago so that's progress.

Have you given your "moley little friend" a name?

Positive thoughts

[Emilym80]

Nah, where I live (Australia) the C word of the skin is VERY common because of the much higher levels of UV radiation in the sunlight, caused by a hole in the ozone layer. Or something.

And trusting your GP is paramount. I know there's criterion you can find on the web of moles and whether or not they're worrying but a doctor is best able to assess whether or not a mole is concerning, as they're able to get a much closer look at its composition with the dermoscope things they use.

Hope you're feeling better about it now :)

[xfilme]

Im in the same boat. Ive been freaking for a month about a tiny freckle thing that appeared out of nowhere. Its tiny, probably about 1mm in size, but its on the inside of my hand, just below my index finger. My doc told me the last time I went about one (had a dark brown one appear on my knuckle) they said if it was smaller than the eraser on the end of a pencil i shouldnt be concerned. So why am I freaking out and obsessing over it?