Annoyed at husband

[dittarco]

It's hard enough as it is dealing with this cr*p.

I was itchy before (not even nervous about it) and just lifted my shirt up a bit to scratch. He asks me what's wrong and I simply said I was a little itchy.

So he says "are you going to freak out about that now?"

This follows after he compared me to Felix Unger (we were watching the new odd couple show).

I'm trying so hard to get through this and he has to make me feel bad for no reason ...

The one person left I feel I can go to with this horrible issue and he has to make me feel incredibly uncomfortable in my home

It's actually depressing.

[Emilym80]

Hey, I'm sorry to hear that. That's insensitive of him.

Does he fully understand your anxiety? I know my mum became quite resentful of me when I was quite depressed and anxious because I couldn't do much and spent a lot of time worrying about myself- this culminated in her shouting at me and swearing, calling me selfish etc. I then sent her some resources on GAD and she's been really supportive since. Obviously your husband and my mum are not the same person, but maybe if you gave him an article/resource or something he might be able to better understand what you're experiencing? I think it can be better to use something like that instead of trying to explain oneself as an article (for instance) is separate from you and peer-reviewed, etc, and so is not just you getting carried away or overreacting- it is an academic/government-funded, research-based description of an illness. I hope that makes sense (it's late!)

Best of luck. Hopefully once he understands fully he'll be more supportive to you. Keep us posted :)

[Fishmanpa]

I agree it was insensitive. As you said, it's difficult enough to deal with anxiety and more so when there is a lack of a support system.

It's difficult being the spouse of someone who suffers from a mental illness (I speak from experience) just as it's difficult for a caregiver to one who is physically ill. You feel helpless most of the time as there's nothing you can do to alleviate the pain and suffering of the person you love. It's also very frustrating as the illness often times disrupts day to day life.

I would suggest that you both seek counseling. Or, if you're going, have him come along for a few sessions so he can gain a better understanding of how to help you and himself in dealing with things. He needs to know what's going on in your mind and you need to understand what's going through his. I do know this. Had my ex sought help (she refused) and put effort into her recovery, things may have turned out differently.

I'm truly sorry that your husband made you feel bad. I've been guilty of that myself. IMO, it's not for a lack of love and caring, it's more due to a feeling of helplessness and frustration.

Good luck and positive thoughts

[dittarco]

I know it's difficult. And unless it's bad, I tend to keep my fears to myself these days. I've lost a few friends because of this issue.

My husband - I met him at 18 in college. We are 32 now. This isn't new to him. I've reAd books. I've been to therapy. It went into "remission" but it just came back 6 months ago.

Having a child and a full time job plus he's in school at night twice a week ..I have no time and not enough money to do what I need to do to recover properly. I'm doing best. I'm here for support ... From strangers.

He probably is sick of it. Well me too.

I just could do without the jokes. Poking fun Isnt the way to help. I'm aware of my hypochondria. No need to shove it in my face.

[Cusper]

Hi D,

I am in the same situation as you. My husband absolutely hates when I get upset about diseases and it's been going on for about 3 years now. I have been convinced I have had basically every kind of life threatening disease there is and now that I have abnormal cells on my cervix you can imagine how irritated he is because I have been down right hysterical. He feels bad for me but he really is the opposite to how I am, he thinks that he has superior genes and no disease can touch him.

Also, though I do agree with what fishmanpa says. Most significant others just feel helpless and the more we harp on about these things the more helpless they feel and just want us to shut up about it. To be honest now I barely say anything to my husband about it until I have a huge breakdown because I don't want to irritate him.

My brother has OCD so he understands more and will let me talk it out with him. I would love therapy but I am in the same boat, I have a 3 year old boy and I work from home all day as well with very little money to be spending on therapy which runs from 150 + an hour.

It is a horrible thing to deal with. I have to set limits on things now. Absolutely no googling what so ever That seems to make things ten times worse. Even some of the support sites freak me out because there are awful stories that get me all worked up. So can you tell me what books you read? Did any of them help you get into your "remission"? Anyhow thank you for your post. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It feels like such a waste. I hope you feel better.
Big Hugs... from fellow hypochondriac.

[Davit]

I thought since I have a panic disorder that my girl friend should either have one too or be in the mental field so they would understand. It didn't work out LOl last two were both councillors with anxiety. Problem was personality and not mine, some people just make snide remarks or have no patience. So I wrote everything I knew about anxiety and panic in a book and lord it took 47 pages, no wonder people don't understand what I went through