Anxiety has ruined sex for me. Please help!!

[Ronan23]

Damn, I feel awful. Like a pathetic excuse of a man. I'm only 24 and have nothing physically wrong with me that would cause ED. I suffer bad with anxiety though. I arrived in my girlfriends house 2 days ago, it's a long distance thing and she lives extremely far from me. I was jetlagged but we had sex 3 times. We then went to drink about half a bottle of wine and I tried a 4th time but couldn't get it up. I felt shit and dwelt on it a bit but tried again the next morning and it worked.

But yesterday evening is when the problems really kicked in. I had about 6 vodka and sodas and we went back to her room. Tried sex, she gave me oral but i was pretty much numb down there and I couldn't have it. As an anxious guy, I dwelt on this a lot, let it effect my self-esteem and generally felt crap.

The horrific thing is that this overthinking has meant the ED has continued on into my sober life. Tried sex again while sober and couldn't do it properly. I was thinking too much about trying to get hard, I was scared about not getting hard and ultimately the fight/flight response took over and it didn't work.

I now feel like less than a man and am even scared to try sex because of what i'm expecting to happen. So I've gone from an anxious guy who could have sex without problem to someone who fears sex within the space of 2 days. I have a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach like i'm not a real man. It's terrible. Guess im just looking for any advice on how to snap out of this. Thanks

[misslove]

I would lay off the alcohol for a while and see how that works. also sex has become almost a way to greet people. Sex isn't complicated if it's with a person that you have strong feelings for. if your comfortable with a women I bet things will happen for you. Don't force it. It's not something that you have to do. It's what you want to to do express love. Long distance relationships are hard and take a lot of love and commitment to work. if you love this women then talk to her and tell her what your thinking. Relax.

[Davit]

Okay, what medication are you on?

[Ronan23]

I'm on no medication.

[Davit]

Then it is performance anxiety. Booze to calm you won't help. But if you must then brandy is the choice. Beer water logs it. So does soda. Vodka puts it to sleep and wine takes too long.