Boydo
14-04-15, 01:43
Hey everyone,
I thought ill share my progress which i would say is a success story as just hearing at the end everything turned out ok doesnt often tell you how beat it or what steps you can make towards redemption.
1st of all my anxiety was triggered massively by PTSD, Stress, Depression and a serious of life changing events from being a young adult ( i was tragically a passenger in a car crash into a canal and was only one come out untouched 1 died other still alive ..... but has serve brain damage and is in a vegatonic state ) also the main trigger sadly was Cannabis i used it to mask my problems for years and was a regular smoker for best part of 8 long years - even at work it was happening.
Once i stopped the drugs i thought my mind was clear until i got the withdrawal symptoms of cannabis - it resulted in flu like symptoms - with traumatic sleep ( waking up every hour shaking in sweat panicking ) i was in such a state i came clean to my parents - my doctor and anyone else i lied too over the years.
In the last 6 months what has happened ....
well because the cannabis numbs you everything felt super sensitive such as - hot/cold - lighting - situations felt more tense of course this made my anxiety worst, before i conunitine i must say my 1st every anxiety/derealization happened shortly after GCSE's at school, my symptoms at that time was throat closing up, anxious sweat and fast beating heart this quickly decended after a month and never looked back, its almost like i shut that out of my mind, Anxiety got me hard this time as i said alot it started at withdrawal i ended up thinking why stuff to bright why has that happened etc etc my mind was overthinking so much i couldnt think staight and suddenly BOOM! i got dizzy and scared of being outside ( i suddenly had agoraphobia ) i shortly was trapped in Derealization - this was horrible stage as i was stuck in it threw out christmas holidays, nothing could shift that horrible feeling i came in and out of it for 3 months, i became distance with my friends and even my girlfriend who i love to the moon and back as she stuck threw this with me !!! no matter how short tempered i was .....
the endless phonecalls to the doctors began i was so anxious that i had a brain tumour ( this was my main anxiety sympton ) this ended me feeling like things was flickering etc my anxiety so out whack i got unequal pupils ..... in this time i tried meditating - yoga - anything to calm me !! but i couldnt shift it i must called doctor every day for 4 months nearly - ive had 2 trips to a n e - first response and mental health team call me at 2am as ive woken up numb sweating scared and confused and so weak i couldnt stand .... it was hell! my feet would sweat my hands would sweat this went on for 2 months i cant begin to tell you i must had the entire list of anxiety ...... including inside trembling when i awoke endless migraines cluster, pressure, aura and optical - Codeine became a friend of mine during this stage - also got adrenal fatigue syndrome
so why am i putting this in a success ...... well people dont know what goals you reach if you dont tell them the past ...
I began to help myself by seeing more understanding doctors who gave me tablets the experimented with sertraline - venlafaxine - mirtazapine - amxillion - propranolol and diazepam ( not all at once ) the mirtazapine and diazepam for really bad days was one the keys to success....
i started to notice i was only working myself up into this shaken sweating mess...... by accepting anxiety for what it is alone helps !! i know that like nearly in possible but it is ... i also started using anxiety at end of all my Dr Googling which help me see everyone who was on same boat as me .... i started doing little days out and progessed till i ended up staying in london, i started writing down my pass and even writing a book to get all the bad out, then of course changed my diet and fed myself few supplements
Scine then for last 2 months ive improved on the following:
Sleeping ( back to normal 8 hours undisturbed )
Migraines are becoming rarer and rarer
Derealization is a tiny creep now and then but nothing scary
Not used Dr google
I have now stopped all meds ...... and feel better for it
not sweat at all in 2 months
internal trembling gone - nearly 1 month without
Depression has lifted
getting confused easily has stopped
Signed off ESA and trying to return to work ....
feel like i am able to engage with my friends or famiiy few month ago i wanted got too bed and cry
Am not saying am 100 per cent me yet but ill say 80 per cent i am and to me it a huge success especially thinking am ready for work ! there is a light at end of the tunnel it take time, determination and and small changes !!
i wish all comfort in this horrid mental illness and hope find comfort of my story
I thought ill share my progress which i would say is a success story as just hearing at the end everything turned out ok doesnt often tell you how beat it or what steps you can make towards redemption.
1st of all my anxiety was triggered massively by PTSD, Stress, Depression and a serious of life changing events from being a young adult ( i was tragically a passenger in a car crash into a canal and was only one come out untouched 1 died other still alive ..... but has serve brain damage and is in a vegatonic state ) also the main trigger sadly was Cannabis i used it to mask my problems for years and was a regular smoker for best part of 8 long years - even at work it was happening.
Once i stopped the drugs i thought my mind was clear until i got the withdrawal symptoms of cannabis - it resulted in flu like symptoms - with traumatic sleep ( waking up every hour shaking in sweat panicking ) i was in such a state i came clean to my parents - my doctor and anyone else i lied too over the years.
In the last 6 months what has happened ....
well because the cannabis numbs you everything felt super sensitive such as - hot/cold - lighting - situations felt more tense of course this made my anxiety worst, before i conunitine i must say my 1st every anxiety/derealization happened shortly after GCSE's at school, my symptoms at that time was throat closing up, anxious sweat and fast beating heart this quickly decended after a month and never looked back, its almost like i shut that out of my mind, Anxiety got me hard this time as i said alot it started at withdrawal i ended up thinking why stuff to bright why has that happened etc etc my mind was overthinking so much i couldnt think staight and suddenly BOOM! i got dizzy and scared of being outside ( i suddenly had agoraphobia ) i shortly was trapped in Derealization - this was horrible stage as i was stuck in it threw out christmas holidays, nothing could shift that horrible feeling i came in and out of it for 3 months, i became distance with my friends and even my girlfriend who i love to the moon and back as she stuck threw this with me !!! no matter how short tempered i was .....
the endless phonecalls to the doctors began i was so anxious that i had a brain tumour ( this was my main anxiety sympton ) this ended me feeling like things was flickering etc my anxiety so out whack i got unequal pupils ..... in this time i tried meditating - yoga - anything to calm me !! but i couldnt shift it i must called doctor every day for 4 months nearly - ive had 2 trips to a n e - first response and mental health team call me at 2am as ive woken up numb sweating scared and confused and so weak i couldnt stand .... it was hell! my feet would sweat my hands would sweat this went on for 2 months i cant begin to tell you i must had the entire list of anxiety ...... including inside trembling when i awoke endless migraines cluster, pressure, aura and optical - Codeine became a friend of mine during this stage - also got adrenal fatigue syndrome
so why am i putting this in a success ...... well people dont know what goals you reach if you dont tell them the past ...
I began to help myself by seeing more understanding doctors who gave me tablets the experimented with sertraline - venlafaxine - mirtazapine - amxillion - propranolol and diazepam ( not all at once ) the mirtazapine and diazepam for really bad days was one the keys to success....
i started to notice i was only working myself up into this shaken sweating mess...... by accepting anxiety for what it is alone helps !! i know that like nearly in possible but it is ... i also started using anxiety at end of all my Dr Googling which help me see everyone who was on same boat as me .... i started doing little days out and progessed till i ended up staying in london, i started writing down my pass and even writing a book to get all the bad out, then of course changed my diet and fed myself few supplements
Scine then for last 2 months ive improved on the following:
Sleeping ( back to normal 8 hours undisturbed )
Migraines are becoming rarer and rarer
Derealization is a tiny creep now and then but nothing scary
Not used Dr google
I have now stopped all meds ...... and feel better for it
not sweat at all in 2 months
internal trembling gone - nearly 1 month without
Depression has lifted
getting confused easily has stopped
Signed off ESA and trying to return to work ....
feel like i am able to engage with my friends or famiiy few month ago i wanted got too bed and cry
Am not saying am 100 per cent me yet but ill say 80 per cent i am and to me it a huge success especially thinking am ready for work ! there is a light at end of the tunnel it take time, determination and and small changes !!
i wish all comfort in this horrid mental illness and hope find comfort of my story