Bad thoughts, please help

[Hyena]

Hey everyone.
After 6 months of feeling great, thinking I was cured - I'm back to stage one after obsessing over The poasibility of having a heart attack.
Okay, I feel anxious - at least I AM not having DP/dr issues I thought - and then boom, they came back also -okay, at least I am not depressed - and soon I got depressed again! :(
I cannot deal with this. I was in medication and therapy for a year, I became better, stopped medication, was good for months and now when I thought I was cured this happened. i cannot live with this. I'm starting to think I'll have to deal with this forever.

I AM again becoming anxious at every little signal at my body, depersonalization is back, I'm always tired, no energy for anything, and recently discovered my father is like this also when it comes for deseases, and was always like this, which makes me think it's genetical and I'll have The same fate of suffering like he does.

I cannot stop feeling bad, I look at anything and it makes me feel anxious and desesperate, like looking ar my room and outside and it doesn't feel weird, not wanting to go to restaurantes and coffee shops because the light makes me feel so weird, looking at PHOTOGRAPHS and feeling TERRIBLE just by thinking about how bad I'd feel there. And this is not agoraphobia, I am not scared to go outside and I do all The time.

I'm super scared of life. Imagining me marrying, having a family, doing house work... Completely destroys me because it feels weird and bad. I AM not happy now and I feel like I'll never be.
I feel like I'll have a short life, I feel like something terrible is going to happen. I just can't imagine growing old because it feels like my mind is killing me... It's so weird. Please help me. :(

I can't also stop thinking that my parents will die and I won't be able to Cope. I can't imagine living without them.

Everything feels so weird. I've got constant tinnitus in my hears, my vision is weird, I always feel terrible, it feels like I'm slowly fading away from life. I don't want to live like this :weep:

Everyone seems so happy and cheerful living their lives, full of energy. I feel like I can't enjoy it. Everything in this world feels wrong and not suitable for me. I don't wanna be like this. I had to quit college now because I am not motivated and I was living alone there, which I can't Cope to do now...

[urbanhermit]

Hey everyone.
After 6 months of feeling great, thinking I was cured - I'm back to stage one after obsessing over The poasibility of having a heart attack.
Okay, I feel anxious - at least I AM not having DP/dr issues I thought - and then boom, they came back also -okay, at least I am not depressed - and soon I got depressed again! :(
I cannot deal with this. I was in medication and therapy for a year, I became better, stopped medication, was good for months and now when I thought I was cured this happened. i cannot live with this. I'm starting to think I'll have to deal with this forever.

I AM again becoming anxious at every little signal at my body, depersonalization is back, I'm always tired, no energy for anything, and recently discovered my father is like this also when it comes for deseases, and was always like this, which makes me think it's genetical and I'll have The same fate of suffering like he does.

I cannot stop feeling bad, I look at anything and it makes me feel anxious and desesperate, like looking ar my room and outside and it doesn't feel weird, not wanting to go to restaurantes and coffee shops because the light makes me feel so weird, looking at PHOTOGRAPHS and feeling TERRIBLE just by thinking about how bad I'd feel there. And this is not agoraphobia, I am not scared to go outside and I do all The time.

I'm super scared of life. Imagining me marrying, having a family, doing house work... Completely destroys me because it feels weird and bad. I AM not happy now and I feel like I'll never be.
I feel like I'll have a short life, I feel like something terrible is going to happen. I just can't imagine growing old because it feels like my mind is killing me... It's so weird. Please help me. :(

I can't also stop thinking that my parents will die and I won't be able to Cope. I can't imagine living without them.

Everything feels so weird. I've got constant tinnitus in my hears, my vision is weird, I always feel terrible, it feels like I'm slowly fading away from life. I don't want to live like this :weep:

Everyone seems so happy and cheerful living their lives, full of energy. I feel like I can't enjoy it. Everything in this world feels wrong and not suitable for me. I don't wanna be like this. I had to quit college now because I am not motivated and I was living alone there, which I can't Cope to do now...

Hi Hyena

Firstly, I hope that things are little better and that you were able to get some sleep last night.

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling in a lot of areas and my first suggestion, would be to make a list of everything that is worrying you on paper. Then, once you've done so, try to work out which is the most important in terms of overcoming first.

From personal experience, I find that I get more anxious when I'm tired and not drank enough liquid so, I try where possible to get a good nights sleep, avoid alcohol and drink plenty of water during the day.

The good news, is that you've experienced a period of being free from your anxieties so that is evidence that in the same way you can feel bad again, you are also able to feel good :)

I've also found that meditation has helped me enourmously - by having a calmer mind, I'm less likely to have anxious thoughts.

And with that, I've found that living in the present moment is also a big help so, rather than worrying about tomorrow (or indeed the past) focus on the here and now.

Of course, this isn't always easy when you are having anxiety symptoms but remember to do some deep breathing:

Inhale through the nose, hold for 3 seconds and breathe out through the mouth for a count of 5 seconds - do this for 10 minutes everyday and you will find it becomes more natural.

The fears that you have about life are also natural, we will fear the future and people dying but I've found it useful to think about the good times I've shared with those I love and, as I mentioned above, focusing on the here and now really helps.

Finally, self-acceptence is really helpful too - just because of you have had a relapse, doesn't make you any less of a person. I applaud you for overcoming your anxieties in the past and having the courage to reach out for help on here.

With the support of this forum, your family and friends and your experience of coping with anxiety, you will be okay.

Take care,

UrbanHermit