having a relationship ?

[tricia56]

hi just want to ask if anyone has difficulty in having a relationship because of their anxiety as ive been single now for 10yrs and ive got a male friend whome ive known for 8yrs and for the past couple of yrs we have got a lot closer but , we dont see each other very often as I always make exuses up not to see him because i feel anxiouse all the time and scared incase he see"s me like it and he will reject me or he will feel he couldn't handle being with someone who suffers with a mental disorder,he does know i suffer with anxiety but has never seen me when im in really bad, i don't know if its the anxiety talking but i think to myself that maybe forget about having relationship with some one as it wouldnt be fair on them being with with someone like me and just be on my own.so just wonderd if anyone else has ever thought this way thk u

[Sam123]

Hi Tricia,

I can relate to this. I was in a abusive relationship for 2 years, and when i met my current partner i was not in a good place and even though i didn't want to, i tried to distance myself from him due to my anxiety. However we did get in to a relationship and after a few months i told him about my past struggles and my current anxiety problems, he was nothing but supportive and happy that i opened up to him.

'It wouldn't be fair on them being with someone like me'

You have anxiety, you're not a bad person. Think about it like this, who are you to say who he should and should not be in a relationship with? Do you not think that should be his choice. I am sure he would be very supportive of you but IF he weren't to be then you know he wasn't right for you in the first place.

If you really like this person then do not let your anxiety stop you from being happy. :)

[tricia56]

thk you sam i do like him very much and he does know know how bad i struggle sometimes and he doesn't seem to be put off by it i think he understands abit about anxiety as his daughter suffers with aurtismn and adhd so i think u are right in wat ur saying don't let the anxiety ruin me being happy, and stop thinking that because i haveanxiety im not goodenough so thk you sam xxx

[Sam123]

As much as anxiety feels like it controls your life, it doesn't if we don't allow it too(easier said than done)
I hope everything works out for you both :hugs:

[pulisa]

Tricia, if his daughter has autism and adhd then anxiety to him would be nothing new and certainly wouldn't scare him off.