Frightened

[Logan_Five]

Anxiety has been up the last couple of days - reasons being, I think - a change in routine for when my wife and daughter return to work/school tomorrow which presents me with a couple of problems that my anxiety has sub-consciously locked on to. Getting up early (640am) for the school run and also being faced with being on my own through the day. As it is, am trying to plan stuff to do every day to keep myself busy. For instance, a trip to Newcastle tomorrow, which I might walk (2miles) to put some cash in the bank, etc.

So tonight, I plan on being in bed by 11pm - will take a Temazepam 15/20mins before and it will hopefully get me some reasonable sleep. This will be the 4th night in a row that I've taken a sleeping aid - after a break of 3 days.

I'm obviously still fretting about so much and it's not doing the anxiety any good. It's an awful thing being frightened and just wanting some respite/it to stop. The horrible thing is that last time I became totally overwhelmed, I started experiencing some awful thoughts - suicidal. I got through it that time as I asked for help. I don't want to become like that again - but I must stop thinking like that.

I've been back on Citalopram now for about 8 weeks and have recently upped my dose to 40mg a day - which was what I was on previously. I had kinda hoped that it would have kicked in by now.

[aprilmoon]

Hi
I remember what it was like to feel frightened like that.
It was last year,and its taken me the best part of a year to become well again,although I'm still on some meds.
What helped me,and might be worth you considering,was a small add on of Olanzapine.
I really turned a corner when I started taking it,virtually from the next day.
Its actually an antipsychotic, but in small doses works really well for anxiety.
Another benefit is that it helps you sleep,so you don't need to take a sleeping aid as well.
I'm not sure if a GP can prescribe it,or it has to be done by a psychiatrist, as was the case with me.
Keeping busy is a really good idea,as you are planning to do
Good luck :)

[Logan_Five]

I asked about the Olanzapine as well as Pregabalin, at the docs a few weeks ago. Both were a 'no' and I was especially disappointed with the last one after reading good things about it. If I still feel this way, this time next week - I'm going to ask for a referral to a psych because I need to get this nailed down because basically it is stopping my life at the moment. That said, I do need to be kinder to myself and stop putting myself under so much pressure.

Cheers April, btw. :)

[aprilmoon]

It was only when I was referred to a psych that I got sorted out with meds properly.
These people are the experts,and know much more about these things that your average GP.
I'd deffo ask for a referral if you feel the increase in Cit isn't really helping.
I was really poorly,and am much better now,so just wanted to give you the hope that things will improve,because they will.:)

[atki]

just reading your posts and I was recently referred to a psychiatrist and they are so much better than your gp. when you have had anxiety, depression etc for so long you learn lots of info and you tend to start knowing more about mental health than your gp, so I agree with aprilmoon, go see the experts.

[Logan_Five]

I will. :) How long does a referral typically take? I just feel a bit daft because knowing my luck, I'll be OK by the time a referral comes around. That's what happened when I had CBT some years ago (took 8 months!)

[aprilmoon]

It took about 3 weeks for mine,although I got a phone call to offer me a canceled appt.
I wouldn't worry about how you'll feel when it comes through.If you're feeling better,it can still be useful to have a chat about what's gone on,and get some feedback from them.

[atki]

yes I was going through a good patch when I had my appointment through but I still went and im currently changing meds so I dont get anymore blips in the future. it took about 4 months Ifor the appointment, I live in wales though now but england is supposed to be quicker

[Logan_Five]

Cheers people. :) I'm not due back at the GP's, until a week tomorrow - but I guess I could try and get in some time this week.

The constant anxiety is just so draining.

[aprilmoon]

Go for it.
Let's know how you get on

[Crystalhiggs]

Hi Logan how are you getting on today? I know you've been worried about it, hope all ok :)))

[atki]

yes I thought about you on your 2 mile walk as well!

[aprilmoon]

Hope you had a better day :)

[Logan_Five]

Hi folks!

Didn't end up heading to town - went for a cuppa at one of the mam's from my daughters school (she's a good friend) and it turned into a 4hr mega natter and counselling session. :o :D She's given me some good ideas on how to try and turn myself around into positive thinking- develop a mantra which I say to myself in the morning and when times aren't good. She reckons it will work over time. Anxiety hasn't been good this pm, but have managed to get through on 2mg Diazepam (which I took this morning) Think talking to lots of different people has helped today - some other mams at school, in-laws and and I also called in to the supported living house that I work at, to see the lad I support and a colleague who is a good friend. First time I've visited the house in 4 months.

Anxiety is bad because I'm sub-consciously fretting about not sleeping, tonight (which I can't help) Took a Tem last night, but had a pretty fitful sleep, which of course makes me more anxious the following day. Gonna take a 'Z' tonight to help break the cycle (hopefully!) If that works, I'll try and do without tomorrow night.

Thanks again for the concern and best wishes. :) I'm also continuing with my journal and challenging these negative thoughts/anxiety when the come. Hopefully it will help.

[Logan_Five]

Well, the 'Z' helped last night and I thankfully had a good night's sleep. Anxiety has returned this morning but it is 'ok' at the moment. I have valium to hand if it gets bad. Gonna try and get in to see a GP this morning, to see if I can get a psyhciatrist referral sent in.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Are there any self help charities in your area?

There is in my city and I found them helpful in various ways, one being social.

I'm just thinking they could help you since you benefitted from talking this through with one of the mums from school.

[Logan_Five]

Yeah, Terry and I've done some research. I'm going along to one in Newcastle this coming Thursday for an 'intro' They do social things I believe, like coffee mornings/drop in's and courses. I'll post details after Thursday, when I find out more about it (for any members living locally in Newcastle)

I've also managed to through to the GP and have taken an emergency apt at 1050. Am going to ask for that referral to a psychiatrist. I hope the doc will play ball.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Is that Under Lyme?

[Logan_Five]

No - Geordieland. Newcastle upon Tyne.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Ah, right. I thought it might be Under Lyme as there is a charity that runs walk-in groups, coffee mornings, events, music groups, outings (annual) and courses down here.

I am a member of this one. I haven't been for ages due to my OCD sleep issues but intend to start again once I resolve it.

So, I would say give it a go because it did help me. You meet some good people and everyone understood what it was like. It was like this place really. You might find they have rules about what you can discuss unlike on here and they may do some talking about CBT concepts and encourage group discussion on it.

With mine, other than a round of names, you have no commitment to talk and some people don't for the first few sessions until they listen to others and see they are safe to discuss things.

If you are socialable and able to talk about it, you will have no problems with it. If not, give it a few sessions and see how you feel about it. I'm guessing you will be the former though from having an open discussion with a mum from school.

[aprilmoon]

How did it go at the docs Logan ?:)

[xvolatileheart]

Yeah, Terry and I've done some research. I'm going along to one in Newcastle this coming Thursday for an 'intro' They do social things I believe, like coffee mornings/drop in's and courses. I'll post details after Thursday, when I find out more about it (for any members living locally in Newcastle)

I've also managed to through to the GP and have taken an emergency apt at 1050. Am going to ask for that referral to a psychiatrist. I hope the doc will play ball.
I live in Newcastle! Interested in the details. :)

[Logan_Five]

Docs went OK, though she won't refer me to a psychiatrist. Why? Well, I've been through some major live changes so far this year, so things are kind of in a state of flux and along with Citalopram being upped from 30-40, I could still be going through side-effects. I've just got to try and ride the storm out as best I can, and we'll review how I'm doing when I'm due back to see her, next Monday.

I've actually had an anxiety-free few hours, this pm. Not sure why, but am grateful. It's a win. :) Managed to lie down on the settee after lunch and just 'chill' - closed my eyes, maybes dozed a wee bit. Doc does want me to try without a sleeping pill tonight, so I intend to. Have bought some lavender drops for my pillow at bedtime - willing to try owt.

xvolatileheart - the programme is called 'Moving Forwards' and they are based in the City Centre. Me and my dad-in-law (who's bi-polar) have registered and going along for an intro chat on Thursday morning. Tel no is 222 0324. I think they do things like coffee mornings, social events and courses. :)

I am a very sociable person and talking defo does help. :)

[MyNameIsTerry]

Getting to a pyschologist/psychiatrist via the NICE Stepped Care Model means accessing a Level 4 service usually. These are the old mental care teams/units that were there before IAPT came along and inserted themselves in as Level 2 & 3 services offering CBT based therapy or high intensity CBT.

If you are serious enough or have a more complex psychiatric condition e.g. bipolar. schizophrenia, psychosis, etc then getting to these levels is easier as a specialist is required.

Otherwise, its usually GP and off to a CBT therapist first.

Its the same with the medication because there are 1st, 2nd & 3rd line options. GP's are usually the ones prescribing the first 2 and beyond that it needs a specialist who understands more complex medication.

[Logan_Five]

I guess Terry, it depends on how long the anxiety hangs around for. 'If' it's long term, I can ask about it. I have had access to the local CAT team recently (they came for a visit, because I had experienced suicidal thoughts) Am not sure if that would give me any sway. I can understand the docs reasoning - I just need to give the Cit more time to bed in.

[MyNameIsTerry]

It would depend if you were a risk or not. Suicidal thoughts are something I think a lot of us get, I know I've had them and its a very low place to be. In therapy (I don't know if you've had any so give me a slap if you know all this!) they have a series of forms they use and one is a harm questionairre. There is a question for "do you ever feel like life isn't worth living" but then there are further ones like "on a scale of 1-10, 1 being least likely, how would you rate your willingness to take action" and "have you thought about the method to end your life" and then there is a section that you can explain whay prevents you from doing it.

So, they will likely use that as its standard within IAPT. If you mark yourself as low likelihood, you become low risk.

Having a visit off them will be on your notes, so its there and what they found, but ultimately its going to be about how you are now.

Things seem different per area though from reading peoples experiences on here so I guess we have to try and see what happens.

I think its right to see how it works on the Cit, its a horrible wait though, I've been through that twice and my wish is to never go there again! If you've had a good amount of time on it and nothing is happening then you've got a good case for a switch.

To be honest, I think we should be seeing specialists anyway. If you went in with a lot of physical conditions you would be referred straight up to the hospital.

[pulisa]

I have always thought that judging people's mental health by dint of a questionnaire to be absolutely ridiculous. It takes true expertise to do this through 1 to 1 consultation not just by ticking boxes. I've challenged psychiatrists on this particularly as one spent more time totting up the scores than actually talking to the patient.

I know that's how the system works now but I can't see how a questionnaire can replace a consultation? Oh, I get it, it's quicker and cheaper?

[MyNameIsTerry]

I've worked in a role where I would design questionnaires and interpret them, they are just a quick filter tool, nothing more. They have their uses in gaining a quick view but if you don't investigate the reasons, it was a fruitless exercise. Like having a thread poll, it means very little without the detail.

My therapist used these to monitor me and to be honest, thhey barely moved much. She did also take a lot of detailed notes so she knew what was going on but I can remember saying to her that the scores didn't really reflect what was going on because one thing can improve and another slip and it just evens out.

A few months back there was a case where a guy near to me suffering depression filled one in. He was suffering badly and his wife had made him see his GP to get referred on because she was concerned for his mental state. He marked himself lower because he had his wife to cling onto. So, they bumped him to the back of the queue and told him he had to wait months. Within a week, sadly, it was over for him. The mental health team stated he was low risk, the coroner decided otherwise.

[Crystalhiggs]

Docs went OK, though she won't refer me to a psychiatrist. Why? Well, I've been through some major live changes so far this year, so things are kind of in a state of flux and along with Citalopram being upped from 30-40, I could still be going through side-effects. I've just got to try and ride the storm out as best I can, and we'll review how I'm doing when I'm due back to see her, next Monday.

I've actually had an anxiety-free few hours, this pm. Not sure why, but am grateful. It's a win. :) Managed to lie down on the settee after lunch and just 'chill' - closed my eyes, maybes dozed a wee bit. Doc does want me to try without a sleeping pill tonight, so I intend to. Have bought some lavender drops for my pillow at bedtime - willing to try owt.

xvolatileheart - the programme is called 'Moving Forwards' and they are based in the City Centre. Me and my dad-in-law (who's bi-polar) have registered and going along for an intro chat on Thursday morning. Tel no is 222 0324. I think they do things like coffee mornings, social events and courses. :)

I am a very sociable person and talking defo does help. :)

How did you get on last night Logan without a pill? Hope you had a good night!!

[pulisa]

I've worked in a role where I would design questionnaires and interpret them, they are just a quick filter tool, nothing more. They have their uses in gaining a quick view but if you don't investigate the reasons, it was a fruitless exercise. Like having a thread poll, it means very little without the detail.

My therapist used these to monitor me and to be honest, thhey barely moved much. She did also take a lot of detailed notes so she knew what was going on but I can remember saying to her that the scores didn't really reflect what was going on because one thing can improve and another slip and it just evens out.

A few months back there was a case where a guy near to me suffering depression filled one in. He was suffering badly and his wife had made him see his GP to get referred on because she was concerned for his mental state. He marked himself lower because he had his wife to cling onto. So, they bumped him to the back of the queue and told him he had to wait months. Within a week, sadly, it was over for him. The mental health team stated he was low risk, the coroner decided otherwise.


Sadly I suspect this happens a lot?

[Logan_Five]

How did you get on last night Logan without a pill? Hope you had a good night!!

I did, yes - slept reasonably well and I've had another anxiety free day (though I have been busy, visiting friends and family) Is the extra Cit kicking in? I hope so - I know I'm far being being outta the woods yet. But it's nice to be able to relax and eat well again. Grabbing the opportunity whilst I can.

I hope you managed to sleep better too, Crystal. :)

[aprilmoon]

Glad you've had a better day Logan
Fingers crossed the Cits doing its stuff :)

[Logan_Five]

Well, still relatively anxiety free, save for a wee bit when I wake up in the morning but..... what I thought was a bellyache this morning hasn't disappeared and I think I've got stress-related IBS. :( I've had it before - many moons ago. It's uncomfortable, but still better than the anxiety. Anyone got any tips please on how manage it?

[aprilmoon]

Do you have a heatpad or hot water bottle to put on your stomach?
I've always found heat helps :)

[Logan_Five]

Cheers, April - I'll ask the Mrs later on when she gets back in from work. :) Just gonna have to watch what I'm eating, etc.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Cheers, April - I'll ask the Mrs later on when she gets back in from work. :) Just gonna have to watch what I'm eating, etc.

What to lie on you? :winks::D

I had a bout of IBS late last year. I found peppermint tea helped.

[Logan_Five]

:D Am sure there might be some peppermint tea somewhere - if not, I can buy some later on. Cheers for the tip though. :)

[xvolatileheart]

I'm a big fan of peppermint tea for dodgy tummy!

Stick to foods that won't irritate your stomach - avoid oily, sugary and spicy foods. My safe foods are toast, crackers, breakfast bars, bananas, rice and chicken.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Can't you take things before a meal to ease this? Like digestive enzymes?

[Logan_Five]

The Peppermint tea seems to have helped the stomach sort itself out. :) Gonna keep drinking a cup in the morning, and at night-time.

Anxiety has been a bit 'up' over the weekend.... sweaty palms, tight feeling in the throat. Think am fretting about the week ahead and keeping busy. It's an irrational fear though as there is plenty stuff I can be doing - just got to take each day as it comes. Have been without an benzos or 'Z' since Monday, last week which is a bonus. Might take a sleeping pill tonight though, just to make sure I get a reasonable kip instead of tempting a bad night. That's what they are there for - as and when. :)

[aprilmoon]

[QUOTE=MyNameIsTerry;1417199]What to lie on you? :winks::D

:roflmao:

[Logan_Five]

Anxiety not been great today, though I have been to the GP. Been signed off again for another 4 weeks, which is frustrating - I want to be well and want to go back to work, but I recognize I'm not yet ready. Mega-busy week, last week which helped but this week is a lot quieter, which the anxiety seems to have latched on to. So - am trying to keep myself fairly busy and the good thing is that if I need company, my in-laws are just literally around the corner. Been there for a few hrs today and planning to go back tomorrow.

Took my first Temazepam for almost a week, last night (as I felt anxious at bedtime) Feeling ok-ish at the moment, despite the tight-feeling in my throat. Will see how I am closer to bedtime.

Hopefully the 40mg Citalopram still kicking in.