My panic attacks have got a lot worse. Should I cancel my driving lessons?

[GingerFish]

My panic attacks and overall stress levels have been through the roof lately as my papa has been ill and I'm generally just a very highly strung person as you all know.

A big thing that seems to stress me out and has me up all night with worry is my driving lessons. I love driving and get on great with my instructor but lately as I said my panic attacks have been getting worse and they are the really strong, almost debilitating ones if you know what I mean and I am terrified of taking one like that behind the wheel. My lessons are on a Thursday and today is only Monday and I am already stressing and ill with anxiety over my lesson, especially as I missed 2 lessons in the last fortnight as my papa was ill. It seems to be all I can think about and its making me feel so ill and stressed.

I want to take time out of my lessons for a bit, maybe a month or so to try and get my panic attacks under control but I am scared if I do that, I will never go back to lessons but I also don't want to be living in constant stress and dreading every lesson. I'm going to talk to my counsellor tomorrow and see what she recommends but I'm just so confused and feel like a failure because I can't win whether I cancel my lessons for a bit or keep going :/

I keep getting horrible DR/DP during attacks now which I rarely got before :(

[GingerFish]

After talking with my counsellor today, I have decided to take a month or 2 off driving lessons. I'm still going to do the other things that scare me such as going on public transport, go into town etc so I'm still improving in other areas and hopefully build my confidence back up.

I can't drive my current car. I just can't take to it so I am thinking of selling it and getting another Kia like we had before which I could drive perfectly so I can go out and practice more before I go back to lessons as my counsellor said that will build up my confidence more and I agree.

[venusbluejeans]

A break sounds good so you can get your anxiety under control a bit more and then go back to it....which you will do....good luck :)

[molliesunshine]

Hi there, I think its good to take time away from something and go back to it in a month or so feeling refreshed and ready to tackle it again. I remember trying to do driving lessons whilst in the height of my anxiety and it's not easy, it took me 2 years to pass but I never gave up and neither should you. I have since had panic attacks whilst driving along and it is scary but I find the best way to come through it is to really think about everything else your doing, changing gear, looking at other cars, sing along to the radio, itS amazing how quickly panic disappears when you don't feed it the attention it craves! I have every faith that you can pass your driving test and a whole new world will open up to you!

[xvolatileheart]

I was going through the exact situation a few months ago. I would start getting anxious days ahead of my lessons and it would keep me up at night. I felt absolute dread on lesson days. My lessons would be going fine but then I'd start to worry about panicking or having a bad DP/DR attack and get myself worked up. As I'm in medical school, there were times where I thought the stress of studying and driving lessons at the same time was pushing myself too far. For me personally, I decided to push through and get it over with so that I could fully remove that stressor from my life, rather than letting it linger, and I'm proud to say I did it! I passed my test first try. I did take a 2 or 3 week break when I had a big exam coming up and I needed to focus on that, but I found that going back to driving was even harder, I had worked myself up even more. When I stuck with my lessons consistently, I felt more relaxed.

That's just my personal experience. With your papa being ill, you may need to take time off to focus on other things going on in your life. My approach to things is "what would I advise myself to do in the same situation if I wasn't suffering from anxiety?" If you feel that you need to prioritise other aspects of your life above driving lessons right now, do that. If you think it's mostly the anxiety holding you back, I'd encourage you to push through.

[GingerFish]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I've cancelled my lessons for a month or so and my instructor is fine with it and wishes me well and I've to keep him updated. My family however, couldn't be less supportive if they tried. They support me when I have a panic attack but they say having bad panics isn't a good enough reason to stop driving for a bit. I find this rich coming from them as a lot of them have panic attacks and have been housebound because of them but no one ever said to them "oh its just panics, get on up off your bum". I think its because I am the baby of the family and they refuse to see how bad my anxiety is and always say I am too young for depression and panics even though I am 22! Urgh sorry for the rant. Its just really wound me up the last few days. My mum has been supportive but my gran and papa haven't.

[molliesunshine]

HI, just relax and get your mind in the right frame until your ready to book a lesson again.
my family were much like yours at the start of my panic, it's interesting you say your grandparents aren't very supportive..as much as I love them mine were exactly the same, I don't know if it's an older generation thing of brushing it under the carpet maybe? I was 16 when my panic attacks started so you're never too young! Panic can be debilitating and get in the way of life, right now you just need some you time but try to focus on all the positives in your life, push away all those negative thoughts as soon as they come in and you'll be back to cruising along in the car in no time!

[GingerFish]

I don't know if this is because I quit driving for a wee while so that big stress is gone, or that counselling is working or it was just a fluke but yesterday I managed to go into town for an hour and a half and walk about all the shops, wait in queues etc which is something I haven't been able to do for over a year. Even driving near the town would give me a panic attack, let alone actually going into it.