snookiebookie
22-04-15, 07:31
Hi all,
I'm feeling very low at the moment as I don't feel like I measure up.
I'm looking for a new job, and job agencies are so dismissive. I've had four interviews in the last six months and didn't get them.
Also at work, last year I had problems. A colleague got a 10% payrise and I got nothing. I work just as hard and solve problems. In fact I think I am a more approachable person. It was demoralizing enough to not get the payrise, but when I raised the issue, it caused me a whole load of problems....which lead to me taking sick leave.
I was eventually moved to my current role. I was promised a job description and occupational health support. Neither things happened.
This new role, there is no training or guidance. Which freaks my AvPD out. But I battle on. My supervisor have been difficult and hard to deal with.
So all in all its been tough.
Today at work, I have a stressful situation. My supervisor told me he wanted me to deal with it, as he wanted to empower me. I felt he was fobbing the job off on to me really. And that he also felt I should deal with problems like this. I would have done if I had known my parameters...What I was allowed to say...and negotiate to.
I negotiated the agreement my supervisor wanted, only to find the supplier had added in a condition that I had not agreed to. I pointed this out to my supervisor only for him to walk off in silence.
I assumed he thought I was pathetic and worrying about nothing. If so, he could have said, 'is okay, don't worry about it', to reassure me.
I then worried that I need reassurance too much. Although I don't get much chance to speak to my supervisor.
On top of all that, we've just had our AGM and ad a result of several changes, there has been a loss of income to the company. We don't know if there will be job losses, but we've been told that the staff structure will change and how we do our jobs. I don't know how this will affect me or when...and there no point in asking...the firm won't be able to give a definite answer.
I've asked for an appraisal or a review as I've been doing this job for a year..only to be fobbed off.
I did speak to someone...who said I could press my employers and possibly take action...but with the economic climate being as it is....I need to keep as job.
I am juggling many tasks at work...all I haven't dealt with before...and try and deal with as much as possible by myself. I try and solve problems myself, but refer to my supervisor when necessary.
I feel totally undervalued and not appreciated. I can't help feeling it because I am no good at all.
The route source of the problem is that with my AvPD, I fear criticism, failure and mistakes. When things don't run smoothly, I am triggered. I need feel that I good and valued, something my supervisor doesn't make feel...for whatever reason. I can't even get some reassurance by having an appraisal or review!
On top of which, when I try to solve my problem by job hunting, I get rejection. Job agencies can be off hand. Going for interviews can be very triggering, add I get very wound up whether I am capable of doing the job. The interview can be very stressful too. Then you either never hear from them or they reject you.
When I'm job hunting, I feel I'm not capable of doing any job or that I have no marketable skills.
Also it looks like I have lost an online friend who used to provide support and boost my confidence.
As you can see I feel very low and suffering from very low self confidence. I feel very irrational and in a downward spin.
Thanks for reading.
I'm feeling very low at the moment as I don't feel like I measure up.
I'm looking for a new job, and job agencies are so dismissive. I've had four interviews in the last six months and didn't get them.
Also at work, last year I had problems. A colleague got a 10% payrise and I got nothing. I work just as hard and solve problems. In fact I think I am a more approachable person. It was demoralizing enough to not get the payrise, but when I raised the issue, it caused me a whole load of problems....which lead to me taking sick leave.
I was eventually moved to my current role. I was promised a job description and occupational health support. Neither things happened.
This new role, there is no training or guidance. Which freaks my AvPD out. But I battle on. My supervisor have been difficult and hard to deal with.
So all in all its been tough.
Today at work, I have a stressful situation. My supervisor told me he wanted me to deal with it, as he wanted to empower me. I felt he was fobbing the job off on to me really. And that he also felt I should deal with problems like this. I would have done if I had known my parameters...What I was allowed to say...and negotiate to.
I negotiated the agreement my supervisor wanted, only to find the supplier had added in a condition that I had not agreed to. I pointed this out to my supervisor only for him to walk off in silence.
I assumed he thought I was pathetic and worrying about nothing. If so, he could have said, 'is okay, don't worry about it', to reassure me.
I then worried that I need reassurance too much. Although I don't get much chance to speak to my supervisor.
On top of all that, we've just had our AGM and ad a result of several changes, there has been a loss of income to the company. We don't know if there will be job losses, but we've been told that the staff structure will change and how we do our jobs. I don't know how this will affect me or when...and there no point in asking...the firm won't be able to give a definite answer.
I've asked for an appraisal or a review as I've been doing this job for a year..only to be fobbed off.
I did speak to someone...who said I could press my employers and possibly take action...but with the economic climate being as it is....I need to keep as job.
I am juggling many tasks at work...all I haven't dealt with before...and try and deal with as much as possible by myself. I try and solve problems myself, but refer to my supervisor when necessary.
I feel totally undervalued and not appreciated. I can't help feeling it because I am no good at all.
The route source of the problem is that with my AvPD, I fear criticism, failure and mistakes. When things don't run smoothly, I am triggered. I need feel that I good and valued, something my supervisor doesn't make feel...for whatever reason. I can't even get some reassurance by having an appraisal or review!
On top of which, when I try to solve my problem by job hunting, I get rejection. Job agencies can be off hand. Going for interviews can be very triggering, add I get very wound up whether I am capable of doing the job. The interview can be very stressful too. Then you either never hear from them or they reject you.
When I'm job hunting, I feel I'm not capable of doing any job or that I have no marketable skills.
Also it looks like I have lost an online friend who used to provide support and boost my confidence.
As you can see I feel very low and suffering from very low self confidence. I feel very irrational and in a downward spin.
Thanks for reading.