HA ruining my life

[EleeBateman]

Hi guys
Basically, i'm at uni and am approaching exams. For the past 2 months i've had a serious case of health anxiety, i was so certain i had a gynaecological cancer that I cancelled my holiday, avoided everything, planned my treatments and everything. In the end, I got a loan and paid to privately have a pelvic ultrasound scan not on the NHS, it was clear.

I'm still having pains, but i know there isn't a tumour or something.
So why do i still feel dreadful? I know the doctor was thorough, they were private and expensive (£234 i was mortified) (i know this shouldn't mean better but y'know)

This is ruining my life, I can't even think about my exams or my life at all. I keep genuinely hearing a doctor saying there's nothing they can do for me.. I can't go to sleep because I think I'm going to pass away in the night. I know this isn't a reason to miss exams, that isn't what I'm wanting to do. But I genuinely can't focus on anything.
Has anyone else experienced this? What do i do?

I've been taken propranolol and the odd diazepam, but the weird heart feelings from those make me worry too. My doctors also given me citalopram to improve in the long term, but I'm not taking them as i'm not sure it'll help much with this? Everyone I talk to about it is just getting mad, because they're sick of me moping around and talking about symptoms and illnesses. I'm just worried the anxiety is clouding everyones judgement of my symptoms????

And now i've been digging around in my tummy quite hard and keep finding little hard lumps that move around a little. Has anyone got these? I'm trying my hardest not to jump on the cancer-googling-spree. But am aware of soft tissue sarcoma, but surely tumours don't grow in about 10 different places?

thanks guys x

[Kerplunk18]

Hey,

I don't know the situation you're specifically in but I know how it feels to fear lumps/cancer.

Put it this way, you got the all clear.

You don't have anything wrong with you trust me. If you still feel worried go see a doctor, I know it sounds scary but that's why they're there.

Most importantly, keep smiling :) and distract yourself if you're feeling down with a funny TV show. Sounds simple but it helps me relax and forget my anxieties!

I'm probably no help here but hope you feel a little more at ease :D

[EleeBateman]

Thanks for the reply!
Isn't it just the worst, every single one of my frequently visited pages is a medical page, it's awful! I'm really considering putting some kind of health child-lock thing on my internet.
No no, you have! Any response seems to make me feel better!
Thank you X

[Kerplunk18]

Just remember that google is the devil! Went on with cold symptoms and once and it just spiralled out of control.

A health child-lock! That's an amazing idea!!!!! Copyright it!

Glad you feel a bit better. I'm watching funny TV now just to try and chill out a bit, seems to be the only remedy for me.

:yesyes:

[emmalj0]

Hi im the same but my lump sits on my rib where my underwire of bra is. Iv had this for 2 years now i too paid for private ultrasound nothing was detected. After googling i started reading about sarcomas and ultrasounds not best for detecting etc. Iv seen lots of different drs all say they think its a benign fatty lump. It shows no signs of it being cancerous its not grown, its not fixed to skin yet im still worried.

i have joined no more panic as im hoping talking and seeing other people with same symptoms will help me overcome this ha i have.

[EleeBateman]

I have one a very similar place! At first I thought it was a bra wire irritating it. Does it move around? Mine feels quite hard but moves around a lot, you can almost pinch it and kind of click it around..?
It really is great for finding other people experiencing the same things! X

[Cusper]

Hi Elee,
I can really relate to how you are feeling right now. I have hpv 16 and had to get cells removed last October. I've been freaking out ever since. Then the Dr.'s called and told me that there was more and I have to have more removed in May. I broke down and cried in his office. Every day I have been waking up thinking that maybe I have cancer everywhere in that area now. it's awful. It's funny I was doing the exact same thing you were doing this morning. Feeling around for lumps.
The days leading up to my appt. I was on this cervical cancer support site and i just lost it and told my doctor to give me a hysterectomy!!! because i didn't want to worry about that part of my body anymore. Bottomline he told me that what i have is 98% curable and what i have is pre cancerous and he has been doing this for 40 years.
I know it is hard but trust your doctor.
One thing that i noticed was that as soon as he gave me the news my pain had gone away for the afternoon. But as soon as it was bed time it came back. I think that when our minds are fixed on something for so long it's really hard to un fix it. I promised that I wouldn't worry about it anymore but it's almost like an addiction. You know it's bad for you but you have to do it.
It's really quite an awful thing. A friend of mine said that CBT is a great thing to try.
Also I found that talking about it with someone you trust and who will hear you out helps. Please please trust your doctor. I've decided to. It's better than the alternative. The best thing you could have done is have the doctors take care of it. It's when you don't know about these things that are the problem. Big Hugs... HA is the worst.

[lyndau63]

Hi,

I am so sorry you are going through this. I have had HA for many years and breasts and gyny things are my main focus. You can find little lumps in your tummy if you poke about enough. I have done it myself but there is nothing wrong. Try not to poke but I know that is easier said than done.:hugs: