losty
24-04-15, 22:44
Hi
I guess I'm here as I am reaching a strange point in life,
I'm not sure exactly what's happening anymore I feel like I would just like it to end in fact I would go so far as to say I'm looking forward at times to death I dont want to end my life but I am craving peace
I no longer feel as though I want to keep fighting
I'm not sure if this is the right place to be but I'm looking for something
I should give u background I'm a 36 year old guy with two great children 1has been diagnosed with learning difficulties also my partner has an older child living with us who has social problems to the extent we have to constly watch there behaviour especially around younger kids I won't elaborate
I have dyslexia and a horrendous childhood which left deep scars
Work is difficult I work two jobs year round while trying
while I struggle to fit in at work recently nearly in a brawl at one job with co workers more chatty to the person who was threatening me often I'm the butt of jokes
I am constantly frustrated by refusal by mangers to provide training despite contestant requests when required thus recently just avoided redundancies due to blind luck I suspect
This is despite constantly working hard and clearing up others mistake I mean what's the point anymore
I'm physically fit active but am finding harder to keep up in my sports martial arts football and struggle with weight and image issues
Relationships arntt great between my partner I have tried but just can't seem to get it right were at the point it's more habit then anything
She's doesn't do romance nor indicate any kind of intimacy physical or spiritual I'm craving a connection if that makes sense
Friend wise I've lost most of my social circle . Partly due to my partners and partly due to me feeling like I'm a charity case/agony aunt/last resort I feel that I just want a decent friend who shows loyalty as I have done instead of being dumped on
Symptoms I'm feeling unexplained chest pains sleeplessness tiredness lack of joy excitement bone weary tiredness major loneliness
I'm now getting paranoid that people say I'm hard to understand when I talk I talk lazy apparently it is making me not want to speak he'll I'm forcing myself to keep the mask on every day and crawl out of bed
I'm just done and have no clue how to turn it around help apologise for any typos thanks for reading
I guess I'm here as I am reaching a strange point in life,
I'm not sure exactly what's happening anymore I feel like I would just like it to end in fact I would go so far as to say I'm looking forward at times to death I dont want to end my life but I am craving peace
I no longer feel as though I want to keep fighting
I'm not sure if this is the right place to be but I'm looking for something
I should give u background I'm a 36 year old guy with two great children 1has been diagnosed with learning difficulties also my partner has an older child living with us who has social problems to the extent we have to constly watch there behaviour especially around younger kids I won't elaborate
I have dyslexia and a horrendous childhood which left deep scars
Work is difficult I work two jobs year round while trying
while I struggle to fit in at work recently nearly in a brawl at one job with co workers more chatty to the person who was threatening me often I'm the butt of jokes
I am constantly frustrated by refusal by mangers to provide training despite contestant requests when required thus recently just avoided redundancies due to blind luck I suspect
This is despite constantly working hard and clearing up others mistake I mean what's the point anymore
I'm physically fit active but am finding harder to keep up in my sports martial arts football and struggle with weight and image issues
Relationships arntt great between my partner I have tried but just can't seem to get it right were at the point it's more habit then anything
She's doesn't do romance nor indicate any kind of intimacy physical or spiritual I'm craving a connection if that makes sense
Friend wise I've lost most of my social circle . Partly due to my partners and partly due to me feeling like I'm a charity case/agony aunt/last resort I feel that I just want a decent friend who shows loyalty as I have done instead of being dumped on
Symptoms I'm feeling unexplained chest pains sleeplessness tiredness lack of joy excitement bone weary tiredness major loneliness
I'm now getting paranoid that people say I'm hard to understand when I talk I talk lazy apparently it is making me not want to speak he'll I'm forcing myself to keep the mask on every day and crawl out of bed
I'm just done and have no clue how to turn it around help apologise for any typos thanks for reading