blip

[swgrl09]

Having a rough time the past week or so. My husband and I finally closed on our house and moved in over the past three weeks. We were moving non-stop after work during that time and on the weekends. Finally in with all our stuff and taking care of day to day around the house, getting used to being homeowners. Then we had a wedding to travel to this weekend so didn't have any down time then either to relax.

What makes it worse is last week I had to meet with a client who was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer (ding ding ding goes my health anxiety bells). I did my best to be present with him, let him feel what he needed to, and not let it get to me, but it did of course. I went home on Friday and was an anxious mess. This is going to sound terrible and selfish, but I am afraid of when this client comes back this week because of how it affects me. But I can't transfer him to somebody else during this crisis for him.

Well this has me thinking about my job and am I really cut out for this? I had no time to really think about it over the weekend because of traveling. So cue Monday morning and I am freaking out before work, panicking, upset. I ended up calling out and taking a mental health day because I wouldn't have been any good there anyway. But now I am anxious and depressed, also my time of the month so trying to remind myself that my blips usually hit this time and to wait it out.

I just don't know if I am cut out to do this work. Sometimes I think I am and other times I don't think I can handle it. But I paid for a master's degree and bought a house, so no looking back now.

[vicky23]

hi SW,
it's no wonder you're going through a blip with all that going on! You're doing so well

I'm sure that getting all these negative thoughts out on a screen will help, I think that everyone has these thoughts of 'I can't do this work' and aslong as there are times when you feel confident and happy in your work then you're doing just fine.

I hope you're starting to come out the other side and feel good again
X

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi SW,

Its not terrible & selfish. Why? Not only do you mentioned your HA concerns but you also consider his feelings too. A selfish person would have just transferred him and not cared. You also spent your time with him showing empathy when you could have been a robot.

I think I've seen you mention this before about not being cut out for the job, but you've still done it. You've entitled your thread in the best way to think about this, a blip, in other words a bump on the road, something temporary.

You've had a stressful time lately so it could just be a build up. Take some time to relax, don't allow the questioning & mind chatter and go from there when you feel a bit fresher.

[swgrl09]

Thanks, Vicky and Terry. I have posted about not feeling cut out for the work before. I have a tendency to have both high standards for myself and low self confidence, so when both are mixed together I really beat myself up and worry that I'm not good enough. Looking back on previous jobs,I felt the same way and now that I'm in a different position, I realize I was good at what I was doing back then and am trying to convince myself that I am good at what I'm doing now as well. Writing it out on here helps me work through it in a way.

Back at work today and luckily it's a lighter day. I am feeling a bit off, but have therapy tonight which is good.

[yvonne_uk_98]

Swgrl09,

you have went through a rough time of it lately, you are at the end of that rough time, when one comes to the end of it, all the stress that went with it, is now coming out all at once, you will get through this, you can do it, you are cut out for this work that you do, with love and caring. you have patience.

Take one day at a time, I agree with mynameisTerry and Vicky.

keep posting in this thread to let us know how you are doing each time you are on nmp.

you can get through this. I have faith in you. :hugs: