Husband with anxiety and depression

[flowers98]

Hello,

I have been looking at this useful site since my husband was diagnosed in February. I am going to need some moral support and my real-life friends all seem to advise (albeit watered-down) versions of 'can't he just pull himself together'. So I'm here to find a sense of comradeship with others whose spouses are suffering with acute anxiety and depression.

Thanks.

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya flowers98 and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[Snaily2015]

I think its great you're offering him support - its definitely what us sufferers need from our loved ones whilsy going through difficult times! Perhaps if your finding it difficult to understand what hes going through you could go to library or local book store n get books/self help books etc to try understand a bit better - its incredibly difficult to understand such thing's have not experienced them yourself! Also I dont know if the local charity 'mind' would be of benefit n can offer support to relatives? Good luck snaily

[Zeldagirl]

You are a wonderful person for trying to help him through this. I do not know what I would do without the support of my husband. He gets really frustrated sometimes but still helps me tremendously through it all. Everything will be ok just hang in there and stay strong. Support is so important.

[Davit]

To do him any good and yourself you have to understand his disorder. It is not going to be easy. we will try to support you and help but you have to ask the questions.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi and welcome to NMP :welcome:

You are doing the right thing. Education is key with these disorders since they are based on irrational thoughts & behaviours.

Your friends just have no understanding of them, their views are quite common. To be honest, you have to go through this stuff to truly appreciate it. You will go through it from a different angle though and you will learn a lot in the process.

I would also suggest looking at MIND & Rethink's Time-To-Change website which includes a lot of user stories about mental health issues. Your husband may find this useful to, just like he would if he talked to others like on here.

He will feel just like you, its all very new and nothing he has any understanding off. This can make it very isolating despite having all your loved ones around you.

I would suggest looking at something called Cognitive Distortions. These are the unhealthy thinking patterns that people with anxiety & depression suffer with. By understanding these you can get a better understanding of how your husband may be thinking and it can be useful to write down thoughts with these marked next to them so you can see where thinking is flawed. Typically then you can devise opposing statements.

Another option to consider is local charities. Everyone knows about the big ones like MIND but in many cities there are now smaller local ones that offer all sorts of services. For instance, in my city we have one that offers walk-in groups to talk to others about your problems (and listen which helps a lot too), coffee mornings, hobby clubs, offer advice on local & government initiatives that he can take part in e.g. gardening schemes, relaxation treatment classes, etc and some offer group therapy sessions at a guided self help style level.

[hanshan]

I would hazard a guess that everyone on this site has had to deal some time with the effect of anxiety/depression on a relationship, either as the person with anxiety/depression, or the spouse/partner or family member.

Please keep posting, and don't be afraid. People here are very supportive.