Pretty much at rock bottom again!

[Gotagetthroughthis]

So after a 3 years struggling with anxiety, trying various medications, getting off them, starting a new job and working for a year and a half, making progress and slowly building a life again even if it wasn't much....I have now ended up nearly back to where I started.

I a struggling through each minute, the feelings of doom and dread repeatedly washing over me. I am constantly on the verge of panic, I don't know if I can have a panic attack attack now, its more just constant sever anxiety and feeling of dread. Trying to search for one ounce of positivity or reassurance in my brain but struggling to find any. I cant sleep and feel detached/derealised.

I just don't know what to do now, I feel I have no options, no hope of improving. I have tried most of the anti depressants they didn't really help, plus I really don't want to pollute my body with any more chemicals. I am in therapy but it doesn't seem to be helping. I live a pretty healthy lifestyle but this has dragged me back down to nothing.

It all started with my head feeling strange and pressured, kind of empty/cotton wool like, with brain fog/detachment its very hard to explain but its a horrible odd sensation, as well as some stabbing head pains. I had some hayfever in the days before this and had some acupuncture for it so I don't know if that has added to my head getting worse but my head has felt strange for the past 5/6 days without any let up. I wake up after 2 or so hours sleep and bang the head symptoms are there and this starts the cycle of me being super anxious and depressed. Its the worry that this feeling in my head will never go away that's the main thing.

I know my anxiety is probably contributing to my head feeling so odd but I cant stop the head feeling odd and therefore cant stop the anxiety at the moment.

I feel hopeless, like there's nothing and knowone that can help. Just hoping I can get a good nights sleep at some point and hopefully I will feel a bit better.

[Davit]

Anxiety feeds on anxiety till anxiety feels appropriate and the brain works on appropriate. So the only cure is to change what is appropriate.

Imagine your head pain was a pinched nerve, (like mine) you would accept it, takes some pain killers and muscle relaxers and get on with life. But since you don't know where yours comes from you worry and now your mind thinks that is appropriate and is not going to stop doing that till you stop it. So see what happens if you take the focus off it by saying it is going to be here for ever, what can I do to work around it. And don't go to, I don't want it. That isn't important right now but how can I work around this. How can I live with this. Not, I don't want this. Your mind already knows that.

One square at a time. Do this and it will go on it's own because it will no longer be appropriate. To make it go faster try to think of six things you can still do with this head pressure even if it hurts.

[Gotagetthroughthis]

Davit thanks and your right in some ways but if I say its going to be here forever it makes me focus on it rather than taking the focus off it and that is literally what makes me have no hope at all thinking that it will stay. If it stays forever feeling that bad I could not cope, I cant accept that, its that much of a horrible sensation.

I am taking what you said and thinking how can I work around this, how can I live with this and the answers I come up with are I literally have to keep myself distracted constantly and even that doesn't do much. I guess I could think the feeling will become less scary if I had it all the time, but thats scary in itself.

Its just really hard to accept a symptom that is right there inside my brain/skull, that I use to think. If it was say another part of my body, an arm etc I assume it would be a bit easier.