New puppy has pushed me over the edge

[efstrofos]

Hi guys, I've always had problems with anxiety, but it was never anything I couldn't control. This has all just changed upon getting a puppy. My wife and I have been planning on getting a puppy for the longest time. She wanted one and I wanted one. Suddenly, now that we have one, I can't handle the responsibility, the life change, and the kicker, the alone time I'm losing with my wife. I love her so much, and we just spent 8 months apart due to visa stuff. Now that I have her back, I want her all to myself.

I want to bring the puppy back so badly, but talking to her I know she doesn't want to. I feel like I've built my own prison. Either she's unhappy, or I'm unhappy, and I have to deal with it now. I don't know what to do. The anxiety right now is too much and is causing me to have panic attacks, which despite my previous high anxiety, I'd never experienced one before now. I'm also a mechanical engineering student and I can't focus on my school work at all anymore.

Please, someone, I need some techniques for handling the immediate anxiety now, and then maybe after I can calm down, someone to talk to about how to cope with the life changes brought on by the puppy.

Thanks.

Edit: I know this sounds like I'm rambling, but I'm crying as I type this. I just can't clear my head!

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya efstrofos and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[efstrofos]

Thanks, I'm reading them now while trying to calm down.

[Eternity]

Hi
A new puppy is a great responsibility and can be a daunting experience at first (I know as I have a boxer who is now 5 and I suffer with depression and anxiety). But after a while the joy and happiness they bring into your life will far outweigh any anxiety or worry you have, I can promise you that 100%, and will bring you and your wife even closer together. It is hard work at the start but is definitely worth the effort and you will be rewarded with love and affection so please stick with it. Please feel free to pm me anytime if you need to chat. Take care. Tina xxx

[efstrofos]

Thanks Tina. I keep trying to myself that, but I also keep telling myself that we're not ready for a dog with her working 10 hour days and me as a full-time student. I feel like not can we not afford to keep it (which I should've planned better before), but we also don't have time to give it the life it deserves.

[MRS STRESS ED]

to be honest you really should of thought it through ,its a big commitment having a dog ,I have three it really helps me ,but we are all different and a puppy will need a lot of time and attention .Try and give it time they can bring you a lot of love and affection it takes time :)

[Pipkin]

Hi there,

I've been there and it's more common than you think. I knew what a big responsibility it would be but I didn't factor in the complete change to my routines and that's what threw me. It took a few weeks but I soon found new routines and now I wouldn't be without my beautiful dogs.

I suggest reading the following thread and you'll see people in the same situation as you and some good, sound advice on how to get through the first few weeks. After that, you'll wonder what you were ever worried about.

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=34189

Good luck

Pip

[efstrofos]

I really did think it all through. In my head it all sounded so easy, but really I've never had this much responsibility before. I don't like the changes in my routine. My wife and I were perfect before. Now she loves the dog and I can't stand it. It's now just a point of contention between us. She also has way less free time than me, so it's going to be me taking care of it. I don't know why I thought I could do it before, but I just can't.

---------- Post added at 11:19 ---------- Previous post was at 08:25 ----------

Well, we had a real serious talk. We're going to keep the dog. My anxiety over the issue hasn't improved over the decision, but I'll try to come back and update in the future in case anyone else has this problem and wants to know how it turns out.

---------- Post added at 11:21 ---------- Previous post was at 11:19 ----------


Hi there,

I've been there and it's more common than you think. I knew what a big responsibility it would be but I didn't factor in the complete change to my routines and that's what threw me. It took a few weeks but I soon found new routines and now I wouldn't be without my beautiful dogs.

I suggest reading the following thread and you'll see people in the same situation as you and some good, sound advice on how to get through the first few weeks. After that, you'll wonder what you were ever worried about.



Good luck

Pip
Thanks. I've read that thread already, but was kinda panicky when reading it. I'm going to try to calm down and read it again. Hopefully there's something in there that can help me.

[Pipkin]

You're seeing your dog as an outsider within the family and that's natural at this stage. I can tell by the way you refer to him or her as 'it' which most dog owners don't do. What you'll find is that he/she will become part of your routine and then become part of the family. Dogs don't get in the way of doing what you want to do, they join in. Lovely walks, trips to the beach, pub lunches in the beer garden in the summer - all things I love doing and my dogs are part of the enjoyment. Just don't expect too much too soon. It's tough and you're being very hard on yourself.

Can you take your dog out for walks yet? It's such good fun and you'll find everyone stops to talk to you. I've never met so many people since I got my two.

Stick with it and I guarantee that things will improve.

Take care

Pip x