Avoidance?

[.Poppy.]

So I'm just going through it now with work stuff. It's a big, massively long story - I've just gotten a job, have also got interviews for other jobs that I want more, etc. etc. Today was especially rough.

In regards to this thread, I have major problems with confrontation in general. For example:

> I had an interview this afternoon and was far too stressed to entertain going. I thought about it and knew that even if they offered me the position, I wouldn't take it, so I couldn't bring myself to go.

> I had another interview this morning. I went to it, and it seemed to go well, but they asked me if I currently worked on campus. I do, technically, I just took a job two days ago but am interviewing because I want a position in HR. Of course, on the spot I lied and said I didn't work on campus. I missed a call from them late on in the day and they left a voicemail saying they "needed to talk about the interview today". I'm paranoid that since they are in HR, they found out that I do have a job on campus and want to talk about that. I'm also paranoid that they'll call my current supervisor to inquire and I'll get in trouble. I am a student looking for a student position, so it's not necessarily "unprofessional" for me to interview around, but I'm nervous just the same.

I don't really want this job, either (it's not what I thought it was and won't give me what I'm looking for in terms of experience) so I honestly don't want to call them back, either.

> IF I manage to get a different job, I honestly don't know how I'd handle telling my current supervisor. Maturity tells me that I should give her notice; my track record says that I'll send her a detailed email and then avoid. I know that's a terrible way of handling it, I just can't make myself do any different - I break down when I think of having this conversation face to face.


I really want to get better and not be so afraid of these situations, I'm just not sure where to begin. I'm sort of seeing a college counselor, but am afraid that if I mention these things to her that she'll just think I'm very immature. I'm not trying to be - I just can't do it.

I'm feeling low and massively disappointed in myself; terrified of what's going to happen. I have another interview tomorrow in a different HR office on campus; maybe it will go better or maybe much worse. I honestly don't know what to think.

BTW - I'm not job skipping due to money or dislike of my current position really or anything like that; I'm a student and I'm interested in HR and I feel that I would learn more and prepare myself more for my future if I am in that environment. I may have accepted my current job prematurely, but it was advised that I accept it at the time since nothing else was a guarantee (and I guess still isn't).

Thanks, any advice is helpful.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Don't worry about telling your counsellor, Poppy. Thats what they are there for. Its not a question of maturity because people of all ages can worry about this. We need to always remember that mental health issues are not just about terrible psychological traumas, they are disorders that can affect us doing the simplest of everyday tasks. Any therapist or counsellor will be aware of that and how things are easily blown out of proportion.

Its not unprofessional to job hunt, people do this all the time no matter what their age. Job for life ended decades ago and people are more out for their careers on their own terms now as opposed to spendng their whole lives clawing their way up. Don't ever feel bad about that because you won't find an employee who cares anywhere! This is expected and if they get annoyed about it, its because it costs them to recruit again but thats how business is thesedays.

How would the HR people find out? Are these jobs all part of a college or university hence they are all under the same umbrella? If they are separate companies, they can't find out unless you tell them who your current employer is.

[.Poppy.]

Thanks again for your answer Terry.

Yes, all of these jobs are at the same university I attend; they are all student positions. There are HR locations all over campus, so I'm not entirely sure how their networks interweave.

The location I applied for yesterday mentioned that they process hourly student employee contracts, so I figured they'd know based on that - and now I'm just hoping they don't contact my supervisor, if anything else because of the awkwardness.

The location I interview at today I think does more with training and classes and stuff like that so they may not immediately know; if they ask though I may be more honest with them (at least, I want to - we'll see how I am in the heat of the moment).

It's more difficult to find jobs and job experience around here while working around a class schedule; that's why I applied at my university. I didn't count on getting my current job so quickly - she called me weeks after I put my application in and hired me the next day (and on that day the other locations were calling me asking for interviews; I had entered those applications only a week prior).

I'm sure in a week or two this will all blow over, but for now I'm panic central.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Poppy,

Ah, I understand now. Its so different over here as a lot of students tend to get work off campus.

Since they are all at the same place, there is the possibility that a) they use a centreal database for this and b) people use a source like this central database to check if they need to (e.g. calling the HR team and them telling them as opposed to diirect access).

Would these HR people check though? Why should they, they would either have to have a standard policy for checking everyone or have some suspicion that you have not told the truth.

Would they inform your supervisor you are applying for other positions? I can't see why and assuming you are awarded rights at work by any government (and state legislation), they could fall fowl of employment rights as it could lead to bullying, constructive dismissal, etc. So, I don't see why they would do that, it would be a bit unprofessional and all they should do is turn you down if they see this as an issue. They should leave you current employment alone as all you have done is tell a little white lie and be proactive in trying to further your career.

Given this is purely a campus employement scheme, they won't have the same issues around cost & resource as a company would. Since everyone is short term and likely to back out at any time, they should also be used to needing to recruit more often than a normal employer as churn is likely to be high.

Given the circumstances, its a risk if you decide to not inform future ones. If they do check, its just going to mean they may turn you down but thats alll. You will have to accept that risk.

Another way to do it is simply be honest. Tell them you are looking for something to fit towards your career goals but you were mindful that other areas were likely to gain you important skills & experience. They were not your ideals because you intend to work and want to gain important knowledge & experience from people. Turn it into a positive! They will more likely approve of it if you make it sound this way. Tell them they are your ideal employer and why so they feel like you won't leave them quickly. (they don't need the truth here anyway).

How about that?

Another thought I have on this is even if your supervisor did find out, if they decide to be difficult, it only shows them to be rather spiteful & unprofessional. Its only a job and given its a campus one, its not going to be about saving lives is it? Surely its not so important & urgent that they cannot live without you? So, its only an inconvenience.