Bonnibelle
29-04-15, 11:08
How do you know when it's the right time to withdraw from a medicine?
I have been very confused since being on Mirtazapine. Quick recap. I started on 7.5mg in May 2013 after struggling with panic attacks and agoraphobia for 5 months. I went through a hellish time with my extended family and my own little family suffered alot because of their violence and aggression. I have since cut them out and am truly happy in my life other than the anxiety lingering of course :winks:
OK, so in May 2013 I started 7.5mg as I wasn't sleeping at all and I was desperate for something to help. It did and I got good sleep, i have ever since which helped my anxety alot during the day. I still battled agoraphobia but things got easier just taking 7.5mg. I then later in 2013 started suffering with random intrusive thoughts if I saw sharp objects or bridges... They were about myself then about my little family and I became distraught. I feared I was some kind of monster and my husband couldn't leave me at home as I was terrified incase something happened. He was a star and helped me though a hard time. In Dec'14 these intrusives were every day and I was a nervous wreck. My GP said it was due to my family getting intouch and wanting me to forgive them, plus the pressure of my mums wedding that Christmas where I'd have to see them but he wanted me to increase mirt to 15mg so I reluctantly did.
Things settled but it took time. Then the intrusives turned to a new theme and I was terrified. I let hubby go back to work and I started CBT/ERP and was diagnosed with OCD because of the intrusives. I still have some lingering intrusives but I lost my fear thanks to CBT/ERP. I also read some great books on anxiety and things got much better. I just worry because in the last year my anxiety changed and I feel very inside my head, my social anxiety is bad and I still struggle to do appointments and socialise alone. Hubby still comes with me to appointments and to see friends. My agoraphobia is alot better, I recently achieved some big outings and I get out daily which is great. I sleep well and eat really well now (I was painfully thin prior to Mirt). I just worry every day Mirt is making me be inside my head. I get eerie anxious feelings if I travel far alone or with the kids, I feel anxious every day but I am able to live alongside it but the anxiety became a daily thing once on 15mg. I had it every day before but it just seemed to change and I became very in my head. Worrying I am different, not normal, not a good person or a good enough mother.... these thoughts go round in my head daily. I constantly worry I am different because of the thoughts I've had and I annalyse myself when out worrying I am not like other people. I have spoken to my GP and he says the OCD thoughts were scary so destroyed my confidence. He says seeing me now I am like a new woman and he is really glad I went on Mirtazapine. I just worry about all the inside my head feelings and eerie feeling I get every day. Things are better but I swear since being on mirt my intrusives became a daily thing and I can't ever shake them off, I am now just used to them I guess.
I go through good periods but the anxiety is still daily. My GP and husband say these thoughts and feelings are not linked to mirt and I was far worse before taking it. My GP says I went through a really bad time with my family scaring me and my children and I also lost my grandmother all so close together so I was depressed aswell as anxious. My extended family thankfully leave me alone now and as I said before this big ramble, I am now really happy. I just always keep worrying Mirt causes my constant intrusives and inside my head feeling. I know Mirt has helped in some ways as i sleep and eat well now and I think I am calmer. THe only listed side effect I get is the restless legs after I take it and I can be a bit snappy which I hate. I feel like with hubby I can very grumpy at times and I don't meant to be lol!
I feel very torn, I don't know what to do. If i am still struggling with anxiety daily why am I bothering to take it but then everyone tells me i am a lot better on it and they remember how I cried daily and was terrified to be alone. Now I am totally different. I think I need to know for sure Mirt wouldn't cause the scary intrusives and maybe then I will relax and stay on it. My Gp has told me mirt can cause actual suicide thoughts of wanting to act on it but that's totally different to any thoughts I've had and so he is certain Mirt wouldn't cause my OCD thoughts and I need to relax and stop going back to this concern. Deep down after typing this out I think I am more for Mirt than I am against but how can I stop myself thrashing around in my head worrying because I still get the intrusives about myself and my little family I am weird and ill, and some kind of monster. :weep:I am a kind , loving woman. I meditate and I am a yogi:winks: I just wish this got easier and I could just accept ok what's left lingering is just my condition and not the medication. Then I think things would get easier for me. I wasn't like this prior to the last couple of years but life changed so I guess I need to accept that too.
I also fearing withdrawal. I have been on it since May 2013 and 15mg since Dec 2014. I fear withdrawal being very frightening, another reason I stay on them. I feel trapped.
Sorry for the HUGE ramble lol!
I have been very confused since being on Mirtazapine. Quick recap. I started on 7.5mg in May 2013 after struggling with panic attacks and agoraphobia for 5 months. I went through a hellish time with my extended family and my own little family suffered alot because of their violence and aggression. I have since cut them out and am truly happy in my life other than the anxiety lingering of course :winks:
OK, so in May 2013 I started 7.5mg as I wasn't sleeping at all and I was desperate for something to help. It did and I got good sleep, i have ever since which helped my anxety alot during the day. I still battled agoraphobia but things got easier just taking 7.5mg. I then later in 2013 started suffering with random intrusive thoughts if I saw sharp objects or bridges... They were about myself then about my little family and I became distraught. I feared I was some kind of monster and my husband couldn't leave me at home as I was terrified incase something happened. He was a star and helped me though a hard time. In Dec'14 these intrusives were every day and I was a nervous wreck. My GP said it was due to my family getting intouch and wanting me to forgive them, plus the pressure of my mums wedding that Christmas where I'd have to see them but he wanted me to increase mirt to 15mg so I reluctantly did.
Things settled but it took time. Then the intrusives turned to a new theme and I was terrified. I let hubby go back to work and I started CBT/ERP and was diagnosed with OCD because of the intrusives. I still have some lingering intrusives but I lost my fear thanks to CBT/ERP. I also read some great books on anxiety and things got much better. I just worry because in the last year my anxiety changed and I feel very inside my head, my social anxiety is bad and I still struggle to do appointments and socialise alone. Hubby still comes with me to appointments and to see friends. My agoraphobia is alot better, I recently achieved some big outings and I get out daily which is great. I sleep well and eat really well now (I was painfully thin prior to Mirt). I just worry every day Mirt is making me be inside my head. I get eerie anxious feelings if I travel far alone or with the kids, I feel anxious every day but I am able to live alongside it but the anxiety became a daily thing once on 15mg. I had it every day before but it just seemed to change and I became very in my head. Worrying I am different, not normal, not a good person or a good enough mother.... these thoughts go round in my head daily. I constantly worry I am different because of the thoughts I've had and I annalyse myself when out worrying I am not like other people. I have spoken to my GP and he says the OCD thoughts were scary so destroyed my confidence. He says seeing me now I am like a new woman and he is really glad I went on Mirtazapine. I just worry about all the inside my head feelings and eerie feeling I get every day. Things are better but I swear since being on mirt my intrusives became a daily thing and I can't ever shake them off, I am now just used to them I guess.
I go through good periods but the anxiety is still daily. My GP and husband say these thoughts and feelings are not linked to mirt and I was far worse before taking it. My GP says I went through a really bad time with my family scaring me and my children and I also lost my grandmother all so close together so I was depressed aswell as anxious. My extended family thankfully leave me alone now and as I said before this big ramble, I am now really happy. I just always keep worrying Mirt causes my constant intrusives and inside my head feeling. I know Mirt has helped in some ways as i sleep and eat well now and I think I am calmer. THe only listed side effect I get is the restless legs after I take it and I can be a bit snappy which I hate. I feel like with hubby I can very grumpy at times and I don't meant to be lol!
I feel very torn, I don't know what to do. If i am still struggling with anxiety daily why am I bothering to take it but then everyone tells me i am a lot better on it and they remember how I cried daily and was terrified to be alone. Now I am totally different. I think I need to know for sure Mirt wouldn't cause the scary intrusives and maybe then I will relax and stay on it. My Gp has told me mirt can cause actual suicide thoughts of wanting to act on it but that's totally different to any thoughts I've had and so he is certain Mirt wouldn't cause my OCD thoughts and I need to relax and stop going back to this concern. Deep down after typing this out I think I am more for Mirt than I am against but how can I stop myself thrashing around in my head worrying because I still get the intrusives about myself and my little family I am weird and ill, and some kind of monster. :weep:I am a kind , loving woman. I meditate and I am a yogi:winks: I just wish this got easier and I could just accept ok what's left lingering is just my condition and not the medication. Then I think things would get easier for me. I wasn't like this prior to the last couple of years but life changed so I guess I need to accept that too.
I also fearing withdrawal. I have been on it since May 2013 and 15mg since Dec 2014. I fear withdrawal being very frightening, another reason I stay on them. I feel trapped.
Sorry for the HUGE ramble lol!