View Full Version : New and unsure about taking..
Hello I'm new to the forum.
I've had anxiety/OCD/depression (different versions of anxiety) for most of my life but have been suffering very badly whereby I have lost most things now, my job, friends, car etc etc.
After a really upsetting period of being irritable and crying constantly for 3 days this week I decided I need a helping hand to help in my recovery. I have studied lots of self help/cbt/had 6 months with a psychologist and have never really felt well enough to take the first steps.
So I have been to the doctors and they have given me some fluoxetine to take. I had a bad experience with citalopram about 3 years ago and was completely in the dark to what was going to happen to me so you can imagine when I took 2 doses and started getting horrendous feelings I stopped.
Since then I've been given paroxetine, mirtazapine and amitryptaline.
The problem is every time I'm given them a feeling comes over me and it's almost as though my body thinks it's ok your tough enough to beat it on your own you don't need them they won't even work and I also feel really numb. I feel really negative about taking them.
I feel a bit rubbish now because I really thought they would help me the other day and I was prepared to put up with all the side effects grit my teeth and finally take some steps to recovery. Now I feel as though my attitudes changed and I'm in denial of even having anything wrong and that they are just another pill to take.
Should I begin to take them and see if my attitude changes or should I leave it until I think they will help again.
I know ultimately it is my decision and I'm avoiding it all a bit i just wondered if anyone here has felt the same way.
ive just started on fluoxetine after being on seroxat for 17 years. I think that if you keep having bad episodes then you haven't found the right medication yet, but hopefully this time you have. I guess I feel differently though about wanting to take them, im to scared to not take them! lifes to short to struggle. x
Thanku for replying, I bit the bullet and took one this morning. I was scared to death to think I was putting the tablet in my body and didn't know what kind of effect it has. Feel really tired and a bit out of sorts at the moment. I think I will post my progress on here.
yes that will be good to read and helpful for others x
I'm on day 3 now. My gad/depressions over analysing are taking over my every waking moment and I feel really sicky.
Sorry for info men but time of the month too so I'm sure that has added its 2 pence to my feelings too.
Will come back and post again in a few days.
Does this medication actually work?
Hi Rachh,
Im a week ahead of you, found the first few days very difficult so i know how you feel.
Still feeling rough but now i can push through the day with some effort.
Hope you feel better soon
IbsAnxiety
05-05-15, 07:01
it still maybe a long time too feel better. I just started week 4 and (day 21) and feel worse than when I started. Having panic attack allot particularly after resting/sleeping. I have no idea how long i should keep trying :-(
Hi wolf paw and anxietyibs thank you for replying.
I'm on day 5 now. It's the worst day yet. I had quite a busy day yesterday so I'm not sure if that contributed. I'm also on a diet day too.
I've slept all day today feel sick and depressed. My mental state is extremely turbulent.
I am expecting to feel bad before getting better. So fed up though.
Day 6
Have been busy today spring cleaned a bit so feel a bit more refreshed.
Woke up feeling like I had a hangover but have generally felt more well today..
There's still the uncomfortable background symptoms/feelings from anxiety.
Day 7
Not a good day. My feelings this evening are.. I'm fed up and extremely bored of the subject of anxiety and depression and its p*ssing me off that it's on my mind constantly.
Going to bed feeling numb and detached from everything.
I don't know if I've ever had a fully blown panic attack because I imagine it to be like gasping for air and not being able to breathe I have however felt some intense moments of acute anxiety today.. Anxiety attacks ? Maybe..
I don't know I just know it felt weird and I didn't like it..
Hey ho feeling so negative today!! Soooooooooo negative.
Here's to a better day tomorrow!
I actually think it's a good sign that you're consciously feeling 'fed up' of the subject of anxiety and depression. Sometimes when we reach that point we decide to just get on with it. Doesn't mean the anxiety/dep isn't there but it's a turning point - an an act of defiance - which says we won't give in to this.
Keep posting and wish you well.
Hi
Day 8 and I feel emotionally blunted. Couldn't give a toss about anyone or anything.
Is this normal?
End of day 8
Feeling pretty anxious tonight. Been really tired and feeling generally poorly today:(
Anxiety without medication was easier to cope with than this..
Day 11
Took me a while to get off to sleep last night.. Vivid dreams aswell. I woke up feeling like I had a hangover. I'm sure I woke up screaming but can't be sure.
Feeling really sick now and anxious although the depression has gone.
Is anyone having hot flushes?
Day 12
Pile of crap. Don't feel any different just plain old sameness. Depressed.
I totally felt the same and started worrying that the medication wasn't working or that I needed to up the dose, but keep at it. Seriously I've read loads of other sites etc. I'm on week 6, the drs say 4-6 weeks but most people are saying 9-12 weeks, which I know seems forever. I am starting to finally feel better. I still feel nauseous, have the worst headaches all day, and still get a bit anxious but I'm just feeling happier about stuff. Stick at it!!! X
Day 13
Much better today although I can't put my finger on what it is. I don't know the difference between mood/emotion/anxiety and all that.
Yeah I know what you mean. I think I've just forgotten what feeling OK is!
Glad to hear it Rachh.
Hope it lasts a while for you. :)
Thank you wolf paw.
End of day 13
I've had a really good day. I have always said that I would take medication to allow me to get to a place where I can understand recovery using methods of acceptance.
I feel like the medication has given me moments of being able to understand it today (only today though)
I am using Paul David's method and taking things from will beswick book the mind works. I highly recommend the books and websites.
I made a pact with myself today that i will only try 2 medications because it's really important to me not to hope that the drugs will take this all away. I just want a slight lift so I can start integrating with life instead of feeling like I'm in a fog. Anything else is a bonus.
It's the end of the day and my anxiety has rocketed. I'm lay in bed sweating like mad. My jaw is really tight and I feel tension all over. Just had some camomile tea and will try and go off.
Sorry for the long winded preachy post I just wanted somewhere for me to diary my days and how I feel and hopefully inspire others:)
i will be back tomorrow with an update.
2 weeks!! Omg!!!
I've got a terrible virus! I'm really ill in bed with sore throat bunged up sinuses and all that.
Explains why I was sweating last night!
High anxiety today. Had some intrusive thoughts about the s word. But I don't believe them so bad anymore. Nevertheless an unpleasant eeriness accompanied them.:unsure:.
Still can't believe it's been 2 weeks already.
2 weeks 1 day.
Shockingly bad.
2 weeks &2 days
Not great. Feel the same as I did before the medication. Got the remnants of the cold still lingering.
Been over eating today which always numbs me out and being on my phone obsessively looking on anxiety sites trying to find a way out of my brain fog.
Bit of tinnitus and bad attitude towards everything.
Wish it would all go away now. I don't know what I'm looking for and I don't know what normal feels like anymore.
Feel like I'm pinning my hopes on this medication working and making me feel loads better when in reality it currently feels like it's doing f**k all.
Will give it 12 weeks though.
2 weeks 3 days
Detached and down.
2 weeks 4 days
No change so far.. Going back to the docs this week. Going to ask for her to increase my dose.
2 weeks 6 days
Had a much better today more proactive. Still not where I want to be but much much totally 100% better than the day before yesterday.
Coming on here and absorbing myself in posts doesn't seem to help. Getting on doing normal things definitely does help! (Note to self).
Got doctors tomorrow
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