loneliness and anxiety

[oshun]

hello there

this is quite a difficult one for me to right but i'm not feeling so good this morning and i just want to get off my chest about loneliness.

well here goes: is it embarrasing to admit to loads of people i dont really know but i get really really lonely, and i know this makes my general anxiety and panic a lot worse. its sort of like i spend most of the week days alone feeling extremely anxious for one reason or another, things i find it hard to cope with like sorting out my financial situation and dreading the postman coming, and then the weekend comes and i feel i can breath a sigh of relief and be myself for a day or so. but most weekends i just spend alone and this makes me feel very down. i do have freinds/family but they have partners/kids/houses...etc etc, and i just dont fit into their lives somehow.

well alone at weekends i buy a travel card and make myself go places cos im not going to mope at home. but as the years go by, the harder i find this to do. i sort of said to myself yesterday that i'm not going to be alone all weekend anymore..but realistically i dont really know what to do about it. i do phone freinds and try to make plans and i have joined clubs/evening classes etc .... i dont really know anymore. right now, today, this morning, i just feel like dealing with the loneliness and the anxiety is eating a huge hole into my soul, and i just feel like curling up and shutting it all out.

to make it worse, my best freind said to me on the phone " there is no light at the end of my tunnel". she is wrong of course, but do these people realise that i am human just like them?????

help. i don't know who else to talk to, talking to the samaritans doesnt seem to get me anywhere

oshun

[Meg]

Hi Oshun,

I think there are many who are in very similar situations to you .

When you're alone with your thoughts they do tend to spiral out of control more as you don't get a break from them and it can get very lonely indeed withn just your own company

Well done for joining classes etc. That breaks the evening up a bit . What are you learning ?

Many people have found a help in doing some voluntary work which is doing something worthwhile and being needed without having much responsibility.

The chat room is open 24/7 and although it is usually at its busiest in the evening you can arrange with other people at home in the day to pop in for a chat during the day .





Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[Karen]

Hi Oshun

Like Meg said I think a lot of people can identify with this. I spend most of my time alone and I know I find it difficult to control my thoughts when I'm alone, particularly at night.

It sounds like you are really trying to do something about your loneliness and that is to be congratulated.

I have recently started using the chat room in the evenings, although I mostly just watch the conversations. I have social phobia and even talking in the chat room is too much for me at the moment. But it can be a distraction from my own thoughts for a while.

Briary

[seh1980]

hello there Oshun,

It sounds like you are doing all the right things in ordeer to try to get out and keep yourself busy. We all feel lonely sometimes so you're not alone there!! Try to keep it up! Take care.

Sarah :D

[Merlinssister]

We all get lonely, even if we're surrounded by people. I'm really impressed with all that you're doing. Online stuff is good. Are you involved in anything else online? I'm into scifi and there are some good communites out there for that.

[stimpy]

I think everyone can identify with this one. [^]

Long Story cut very short .... [8)]

Met penpal, liked him, loved him, moved from Durham to Birmingham.

And so there began a another spell of loneliness.
After leaving my family and friends behind, I had to start again.

10 years later, 1 new best friend and a whole street of neighbours I am fairly close to.

I think you can be in a crowd of people and still be very lonely.

Loneliness is an in build thing. Because we all suffer with various conditions that are anxiety related we tend it feel it more.
Mainly I think because it cuts us off from others who sometimes have no idea how we feel.

Well done Oshun for getting a travel card and having the courage to go out. I think it's brilliant! :D

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

[oshun]

hi meg

thanks for your reply, i have taken a part time evining course of egyptology. i did the 1st part last year and have 2/3 more years to go. i start again later this month. yes i have looked at voluntary work and did a bit before but i was alone in an office and didnt feel so good so stopped that one, but last week i have applied for another voluntary job and am waiting to hear.

i suppsoe i sort of get very angry about things cos i feel there is a lot of life in me and before i alwasy liked soicalising and now i feel the real me is being squashed..if that makes any sense

thanks for your support :)

oshun



]

[oshun]

hello briary,

thanks for your reply. i read your posts before about social fobia and i really felt for you {{}}. i am ok in chat rooms but i do have problems with phone and email.

i hope when you are feeling more up to it to meet you in the chat room here. in the meantime take good care, x and thanks for the support :)

oshun

[oshun]

hello sarah,

thanks for your message, it's good to know i am not alone,
you take care too :)

oshun

[oshun]

hello merlinssister,

thanks for your message.
actually i'm not really involved in anything esle online although i am ( used to be) a designer so have a website which i work on. and YES i am a sci fi fan. i love it! before i looked for good sci fi communties online but didnt find one i liked....i also like trying to illusrate sci fi books ( for my own fun)

do you like: starwars/dune/bladerunner/gene wolfe ??

good to meet you :)

oshun

]

[oshun]

hello stimpy

good to meet you for the 1st time and thanks for your message and your story. i liked your story esp the bit where you meet penpal and then love penpal :) sounds romantic. but yes relocationg must have been hard and taken a lot of bravery on your part.

well i try not to dwell on loneliness but sometimes it just seems to overtake me and take away all myself confidence. i really dont want it to go on indefinatley tho.

take care :) oshun

[nomorepanic]

Oshun

I am so pleased to hear that you are getting out and doing stuff.

When I was at my worst with panic I used to live alone and it was a killer cos I would go home and there wouldn't be anyone to give me a cuddle or tell me it would be alright. I just cried all the time and never really went out much.

I actually like being alone and I loved living alone but NOT when I had the panic!

Hope things pick up for you soon.

Nicola

[Karen]

Hi Oshun

I have started going into the chat room now, although I still find it difficult to talk in there and mostly just watch the conversation.

Maybe I will see you in there some time.

Take care.

Briary

[Merlinssister]

Love Star Wars, don't mind the others. Am bit of a TV sci fi fan rather than film... Star Trek, Babylon 5 that sort of thing.

[sal]

Hi Oshun

I can completely understand where you are coming from. One thing that is really getting me down at the moment is that im on my own.

I know i have my daughter Sam and i love her to bits, but once she has gone to bed its down to me again. I let her stay up later to compensate for the fact i am on my own and know at times i shouldnt but easier said that done.

I have some great friends but they are all in relationships or married. I kept away from relationships at first because of how my marriage ended then i opted out again because who could cope with my anxiety, but i really miss the closeness and support and wonder if i will ever find it.



Love Sal xxxxx

[Meg]

i suppsoe i sort of get very angry about things cos i feel there is a lot of life in me and before i alwasy liked soicalising and now i feel the real me is being squashed..if that makes any sense

Thats good that you're angry about it as you will persue overcoming this more vigourously.

Egyptology - always lots of exhibitions and discussions to visit and watch.

What sort of job have you applied for ?




Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[oshun]

What sort of job have you applied for ?

hi meg, the voluntary job i applied for was at an art gallery but i havent heard anything yet. when i did phone them they said they had had many applicants. however my priority is finding paid work now, to try and help my financial situation, tho this week havent been up to applying for anything.....will see how things go,

take care :) oshun

[oshun]

hi nicola,

thanks for your reply. yes what you say is something i can relate too. i live alone and in many ways i really like it, its just as you say, not so good wehn one is feeling anxious/panicky. and it is the really basic things, like human company and especilayy {{hugs}} that seem hardest to do without.

take care :) oshun

[oshun]

hello sal,

i think its lovely that you have a daughter, how old is she?
but yes undertsand how it is also lonely for you.
i sort of always think ( or hope) that if someone is really right for you, then your anxiety would not be a huge issue for them, and if it is , they are not the right one. this is what i have always hoped for myself..maybe i am being too idealistic:), well i have not given up and nor should you :)

take good care, x oshun

[nomorepanic]

Hi again

My anxiety is not a huge issue for my current partner - he "took me on" knowing what I was like and I was very very bad then.

There is someone for everyone out there.

Happy hunting mate.
x

Nicola

[sal]

Hi Oshun

How you feel isnt easy and there are no magic cures.

Let us know how you are getting on?

Until then take care.



Love Sal xxxxx