snaping173
03-05-15, 00:48
Hi i am new to this site and feel like writing this down may help my anxiety at the moment. I will give you the details of why I have taken the step to get HIV tested. I am a 23 year old otherwise healthy Female.
Last year in march I went on a night out with my cousin to a club and we ended up meeting two guys (a couple of years younger than us) who were up visiting from down south to appear on a gameshow being filmed in glasgow. We spent the night at the club with them had a good few drinks and were all quite drunk. Turned out they were staying at a near by hotel so we went back with them. At this point in the night the details become sparse. I know that the guy paid for a different room for myself and him as he was sharing a room with his friend and we engaged in vaginal sex for definite. No anal or oral sex was involved as i have never done that before and would have known the next day if that had taken place! I dont know if a condom was used and i do not know if he ejaculated. All i know is i awoke in the room 3/4/5? hours later alone as i had passed out, possibly even during the intercourse. It was a terrible horrible experience and wouldn't wish it upon anybody. Fortunately my cousin had waited for me the whole time ending up in her and the other guy not getting along and exchanging heated words so she came to the room to get me and we left and went home. This all happened in the early hours of a tuesday morning and by the friday night i was becoming quite unwell. Very weak feeling while at work and had a bit of a sore throat when swallowing. Put it down to just being out in the cold with no jacket for so long that night and the next day when going home. As the days went on i got seriously worse with my tonsills up with pus on them and were so swollen they were touching each other, glands in the front of my neck severely swollen, I couldnt eat and couldn't even swallow my own saliva never mind drink water or eat food. Had a high temp and lower back pain but no visible rash or just a sore throat this was a full on illness all within three days of this encounter. After the weekend had passed i managed to get some antibiotics from the doctor and my symptoms did go away after just over a week. I however did have a urine infection which still has not gone away all this time later. Not painful at all just cloudy urine and sometimes dark in colour. Never thought much of it at the time and didnt put two and two together at all until some months later. The same virus came back in the month of july after another night out for my sisters hen party which i again had unprotected sex with a male partner. This time symptoms appeared two days later. This was around the time i use google to research my symptoms and started to believe I have contracted HIV from the first encounter. So Since July i have been experiencing anxiety like no other about this but tried to put it to the back of my mind (couldn't ever happen to me type excuses) and ended up meeting a guy who is the most kind, loving and caring person i have ever had the pleasure of knowing and what would become my proper first boyfriend. We have been together since september and at first used protection but as the time went on i had a implant put in my arm and we stopped using it. He did not get sick like me at all in the time i have known him he has only had to take anti biotics once in his life and has never had glands up, fatigue or tonsills up like i had those two times. At present he has had no illnesses other than a slight common cold or a cough. Had a smear test a couple of months ago and it came back negative. Had a couple of bad deep chesty coughs over the winter months Dec & again in Feb for which i didnt have antibiotics for. Recently i have been worrying more than normal about the first encounter being one that i did actually get HIV from. So much so that upon reading my usual have i got HIV symptom checker online on a Terrence Higgans Trust website i decided this would be the last time i self diagnose and ordered a free HIV postal testing kit. Surprisingly it arrived the very next day and that same day I drew the blood collected it in the provided bottle sealed it up and put it in the post box to be sent away. I have been a ******* nervous wreck since then which was on friday. It says i will receive my result by telephone within 5 working days. I am beside myself with worry. Worry that i have now put my wonderful boyfriend as well as myself at risk of this. The pain in my stomach from worry has been excruciating. I feel helpless right now. I cant sleep its all i can think of and sometimes when i forget about it the fear creeps right back up on me. I dont know what im looking for from anybody on here but anything would be nice as i havent spoken to a soul about this. I did tell my partner that i was having all sorts of blood tests done for other things (one of the glands in my neck never returned to size and its hard to touch so have been trying to investigate this) and mentioned having to take an hiv test to him so that if it came back + he knew i was having it done. But not for the reason he thinks. Im crying as i type the last of this post and just hope somebody has anything positive for me to hold on to whilst i await these results coming back.
Thanks for listening.
Last year in march I went on a night out with my cousin to a club and we ended up meeting two guys (a couple of years younger than us) who were up visiting from down south to appear on a gameshow being filmed in glasgow. We spent the night at the club with them had a good few drinks and were all quite drunk. Turned out they were staying at a near by hotel so we went back with them. At this point in the night the details become sparse. I know that the guy paid for a different room for myself and him as he was sharing a room with his friend and we engaged in vaginal sex for definite. No anal or oral sex was involved as i have never done that before and would have known the next day if that had taken place! I dont know if a condom was used and i do not know if he ejaculated. All i know is i awoke in the room 3/4/5? hours later alone as i had passed out, possibly even during the intercourse. It was a terrible horrible experience and wouldn't wish it upon anybody. Fortunately my cousin had waited for me the whole time ending up in her and the other guy not getting along and exchanging heated words so she came to the room to get me and we left and went home. This all happened in the early hours of a tuesday morning and by the friday night i was becoming quite unwell. Very weak feeling while at work and had a bit of a sore throat when swallowing. Put it down to just being out in the cold with no jacket for so long that night and the next day when going home. As the days went on i got seriously worse with my tonsills up with pus on them and were so swollen they were touching each other, glands in the front of my neck severely swollen, I couldnt eat and couldn't even swallow my own saliva never mind drink water or eat food. Had a high temp and lower back pain but no visible rash or just a sore throat this was a full on illness all within three days of this encounter. After the weekend had passed i managed to get some antibiotics from the doctor and my symptoms did go away after just over a week. I however did have a urine infection which still has not gone away all this time later. Not painful at all just cloudy urine and sometimes dark in colour. Never thought much of it at the time and didnt put two and two together at all until some months later. The same virus came back in the month of july after another night out for my sisters hen party which i again had unprotected sex with a male partner. This time symptoms appeared two days later. This was around the time i use google to research my symptoms and started to believe I have contracted HIV from the first encounter. So Since July i have been experiencing anxiety like no other about this but tried to put it to the back of my mind (couldn't ever happen to me type excuses) and ended up meeting a guy who is the most kind, loving and caring person i have ever had the pleasure of knowing and what would become my proper first boyfriend. We have been together since september and at first used protection but as the time went on i had a implant put in my arm and we stopped using it. He did not get sick like me at all in the time i have known him he has only had to take anti biotics once in his life and has never had glands up, fatigue or tonsills up like i had those two times. At present he has had no illnesses other than a slight common cold or a cough. Had a smear test a couple of months ago and it came back negative. Had a couple of bad deep chesty coughs over the winter months Dec & again in Feb for which i didnt have antibiotics for. Recently i have been worrying more than normal about the first encounter being one that i did actually get HIV from. So much so that upon reading my usual have i got HIV symptom checker online on a Terrence Higgans Trust website i decided this would be the last time i self diagnose and ordered a free HIV postal testing kit. Surprisingly it arrived the very next day and that same day I drew the blood collected it in the provided bottle sealed it up and put it in the post box to be sent away. I have been a ******* nervous wreck since then which was on friday. It says i will receive my result by telephone within 5 working days. I am beside myself with worry. Worry that i have now put my wonderful boyfriend as well as myself at risk of this. The pain in my stomach from worry has been excruciating. I feel helpless right now. I cant sleep its all i can think of and sometimes when i forget about it the fear creeps right back up on me. I dont know what im looking for from anybody on here but anything would be nice as i havent spoken to a soul about this. I did tell my partner that i was having all sorts of blood tests done for other things (one of the glands in my neck never returned to size and its hard to touch so have been trying to investigate this) and mentioned having to take an hiv test to him so that if it came back + he knew i was having it done. But not for the reason he thinks. Im crying as i type the last of this post and just hope somebody has anything positive for me to hold on to whilst i await these results coming back.
Thanks for listening.