What's happened to me?

[MissBee]

Over the past two weeks I have developed a serious anxiety problem. I know 2 weeks might trivial to people who have been suffering with this for years but I'm just shocked and amazed at how quickly this has happened and how badly it's affecting me.

I've always been the type to get a nervous tummy when I'm anxious about something in particular like a job interview etc. But recently I've had a few bad experiences in the car where anxiety crept up on me and I desperately needed the toilet. One time I had to get my ex to pull into a service station and literally only just made it. Since then I have this phobia of being in the car or going anywhere where I don't know where the toilet is. Even driving to work or picking my son up from school has led me to have panic attacks - chest pains, choking sensations and the worst of all, desperately needing to move my bowels. The other day I genuinely thought I was going to have an accident while waiting at the school gates. It's totally in my mind because as soon as I get home or become distracted, the urge goes away. But the panic in that moment of needing to go and not being able to is just horrific.

I keep pushing myself to go out and have also booked to see a counselor to try and nip this in the bud. But I also feel like I've crossed a line now and it's going to be really hard to get back to my 'normal' way of thinking - i.e. just being able to hop in a car and not worry. My family and OH are supportive but I don't think they quite understand how or why this has happened.

I have a holiday next month that I've been so looking forward to but right now I don't know how I'm going to make it. Just the thought of the drive to the airport is enough to start up the anxiety.

I'd really appreciate any tips. I've seen my GP who was reluctant to put me on any meds - she advised the counselling option first. I just desperately want to go back to how I was a month or so ago.

[Thatdude]

I don't really know much about anxiety because I have a low amount myself that comes and goes intermittently, so I don't know any techniques to help you out.

But as with any phobia you should confront this head on. Try these:

1) Empty your bowels when you're at home and when you need to. Then drive around your neighbourhood knowing that you just defecated you should have a LITTLE more security, and added to it is that you're very close to home you can go to the bathroom any time! Over time, who knows maybe you'd get used to it.

2) Whenever you have this sensation just pull over to the curb, focus on something very far away (as its relaxing) and breath deeply and slowly. That might desensitize you over time as well.

3) Get your spouse to help you out! Let him drive around the neighbourhood with you every now and then, and enjoy your time together. Maybe that'll replace the bad urges with positive thought?

I understand what you are going through is very frustrating and painful but since it's been only two weeks you should hit the problem in its eye as soon as possible. Don't give up, you'd probably make a full recovery over a bit of time. But yeah! Try those things I listed. I know they seem small and meaningless but even small victories are huge in the face of anxiety.

Just now I made a post about not being able to eat properly because I'm scared of swallowing food, and yet right after the post I somehow gobbled up a full meal with ease!

So, keep us posted. Rant all you want because getting the feelings out there is the MOST important thing you can do! I will visit and reply as much as possible to make sure you know you have an outlet in me.

[MissBee]

Thanks so much for your kind reply Thatdude.

I will try the things you have suggested and even hearing the phrase 'full recovery' makes me feel a little more positive. I generally do try to go to the loo several times before leaving the house. Even when I think there can't possibly be anything left, there often is! (sorry TMI!) I used to use immodium a lot as well but it didn't stop me needing to go. When I drive around my local area I tend to be OK - I know I can get home in an emergency and know where there are supermarkets/public toilets etc nearby. So I feel safe. It's when I go to unfamiliar places or on long motorway journeys that it becomes a problem. It genuinely is the fear of getting caught out that bothers me. And once the sensation starts I find it so hard to ignore it and focus on anything else. It's making me nervous to go out and I find it easier to stay at home which is boring for me and my 3 year old son :(

I hope with the help and advice of other like minded people like yourself and also the counsellor I'm going to see that I'll learn techniques to help nip this in the bud. I used to be very outgoing and loved going to new places - festivals, road trips, long haul flights. I can't believe how quickly things can change.