New to this

[Westridge16]

Hi everyone I I am new to this all and really want some support and help as I don't want this anxiety taking control of my life. I am 44years of age and married to my husband for 18years and we have two lovely kids like any other family we have had are ups and downs.
Before my husband met me he was in a relationship when he was 17 and they had a daughter things did not work out it was something that happened and the mother wanted to go out and enjoy herself while my hubby looked after child. The mother wanted to leave to go to England with their daughter and told my husband to live his life . His name is not on the birth certificate.
When we met my husband told me from the start that he had a daughter but never seen her.
We went on to get married but there was no contact at all until 9 weeks ago when the girls uncle got in touch saying she wanted to contact him . I know this might seem silly as I always knew this day would come but has totally knocked us for six. We had an awful weekend and my husband told the kids . The kids have been great it is has been me. I am finding it so hard to deal with , my husband has been so loving to me but yet I have not been able to cope with insecurity and nerves . I just want to learn how to deal with this . My husband has been so upfront and Horst and I love him so much . I feel I am being overtaken with this anxiety when we take the next step. Last night night he emailed her and it was very hard for him but yet I end up gurning and that sense of insecurity has taken over hence why I written this the morning. I can't concentrate on anything . I went to my doctors last Monday for help and he told me I was just being silly which. Yeah to some people I might be but to me I am not or I would not have went down. We have been trough so much to get her and I feel I want to be strong for the both of us but yet I Sn being a stupid person. Look forward to your replies nang thanks x

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya Westridge16 and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[Davit]

You are not being silly, this is a massive change in your life and you are the only one without a blood connection. That is fact that will have to be overcome or it will eat at you.
Just remember when you marry you become one, for better or worse etc. As one what is his is yours. Invite her into your life, it will enrich you.

[Westridge16]

I know I just am trying to be strong but the anxiety over takes me
And I feel so insecure and I am a good person .

[Snaily2015]

I know I just am trying to be strong but the anxiety over takes me
And I feel so insecure and I am a good person .

hi, its normal to feel like that n for the anxiety to be taking over n almost that you're going crazy! (But do you know what - you actually CANT go crazy from anxiety!) i think its just how we learn to control the anxiety rather than it controlling us. Have you had any therapy at all or r u on any meds? snaily.

[newme]

Welcome Westridge16..There are lots of blended families out there in this day and age and I am in one of them. It has been challenging to say the least. Our grown adult sons from both sides are ok with it and are very supportive in what ever we do. My partners grown adult daughters on the other hand are not. So it is a 50/50 split at this point. All the grandchildren are just fine with it because they have no negative core beliefs getting in their way of thinking. I think if everyone could learn to Live and Let live and accept others instead of trying to force their ideas and expectations on other people there would be a lot less anxiety in this world that we are all trying to live in. Of course this is just my two cent on the subject. Good luck to you and remember to take care of yourself first not last. Also remind yourself if you begin to feel weak or guilty that self care is not selfish it is self nurturing and essential to your health and well being.

[Westridge16]

Thank u so much for your comments . I went to doctors last week when my anxiety got so bad as my husband was really worried about me . So I was very nervous when I went down and he told me I was just being silly and did I think my husband was going to run off with her . I was totally gutted and told him I was not being silly but it was just was something I was finding it hard to deal with . I am going to Cbt on Thursday and i Hopi g this will help as I don't want to be like this x