Sick time ending, doc urging return, anxiety all week

[RisingPheonix]

Been off with anxiety and depression for a month & a half now. Have had anxiety since I was a teenager - but until last year I was able to cope. It became too much a few months ago and I attempted to quit my job, a decision my employer agreed to ignore on basis of my mental health.

Been at my job for 9 years, did it thru college and university. They haven't been terrible. But the job was always just something to help me get by in those times. I did a degree so I could do something other than retail, but that hasn't really panned out.

I also have dyspraxia that makes really moving within the company an issue, and I know I'm not really up to doing anything like a supervisor or manager role. Have tried in the past, but they don't seem to have much faith in me beyond what I already do (I have tried one other role, but am now forever judged by how badly that went, even though it wasn't what I expected it to be)

I have been trying to focus on coding, and trying to do things that make me happy - though it's hard as I seemed to "lose" my talents as my depression has gotten worse. Recovery is happening but it's fairly slow right now...

Doctor last week suggested I start thinking about going to work, the moment she said it, I started to worry about it. It's retriggered things like my eyelash picking, constant worry, feeling easily stressed by too much noise ect. I did have a meeting with work the week before where they said it looked like I wasn't ready yet.

Part of me knows the expected outcome is that I return to work, I'm not suicidal, I seem relatively okay to others, I'm not a shut in...so I guess I'm not as bad as some, but still don't want to go back.

I guess I'm just trying to look for the right answer.

[Logan_Five]

I would advise that you only head back to work when you feel ready and it sounds like work have the same view. GP probably feels that it would give you some routine back but only you know how you feel.

I've been off work for almost 5 months now and whilst it's frustrating (because I want to go back to work), MY GP and employer have been very supportive. Being a support worker for people with learning disabilities, I need to be well to do my job properly. Anything less and I run the risk of making a mistake, etc. For me - going back will take as long as it has to.

[little scientist]

I agree with logan - you need to take your time going back ad you need to be ready.

I've been off for three weeks. I tried to go back after the first week - big mistake. I thought I might be ready to go back this week when my sick note runs out, but after talking with the doctor, we don't think I'm right to go back yet so I have another two weeks to allow an increase in medication to do some work, before we re-evaluate.

[zeros]

It could go either way, I think you should listen to your gut feeling. If you feel like the Anxiety is just unbearable and your physical sensations are increasingly difficult to manage as the day approaches I advise that you take more time and let things calm down before going out there. Don't put pressure on yourself.

[NoPoet]

On the other hand, what if your anxiety actually reduces after you've got used to being back at work? The spike in your symptoms is going to be due to anticipation, the bane of anyone with anxiety.

Why not create a scenario that's positive and funny, even if it's not what you would normally do? Imagine bursting in and saying "I'm back, bitches", it's not particularly professional, but it's a great deal of fun.

Take it from someone who actually did it. ;)