Lilly13
05-05-15, 16:53
omg, if it isn't one thing it is another. I am so sick of myself... I feel as if I am living in health anxiety hell... anxiety has made my life hell. My boyfriend said that he wished he could just kill the anxiety monster who haunts me and I wish the same thing... everyday...
The bulbar fear started when I was on an airplane, I stuck out my tongue to ensure that the scallop tongue that I have was not progressing and there it was I saw little quick ripple movements in the middle of my tongue. I don't know if it was the lighting or maybe the movement of the airplane but it looked stranger than usual, I was convinced that this was ALS tongue twitching... but when I look at my boyfriend's tongue his kind of ripples when out as well.. idn if what I saw was sinister or not... my memory is blurred...with panic and fear...now I am OBSESSED with ensuring that I am not slurring my speech... I don't even want to talk anymore... because I am SO scared. Last night my boyfriend and I had a housewarming and I got VERY drunk,.. and I guess I said the word "Jar" like "Jaw" and my friend and boyfriend made fun of me and pointed it out... this started a panic. I know logically I was drunk but I can't fight the feeling that I am slurring... I am VERY aware of my tongue now, I notice every time it catches on my teeth and how much saliva I am producing..
I need support, I am sick of taking out my anxiety on my boyfriend... I know it is eating him up inside as it is eating me up... I debated going to the hospital..
:weep:
I have a neurologist appointment on friday and all I can think is that he is going to look in my mouth and tell me I have ALS tongue twitching...
Please help me...
The bulbar fear started when I was on an airplane, I stuck out my tongue to ensure that the scallop tongue that I have was not progressing and there it was I saw little quick ripple movements in the middle of my tongue. I don't know if it was the lighting or maybe the movement of the airplane but it looked stranger than usual, I was convinced that this was ALS tongue twitching... but when I look at my boyfriend's tongue his kind of ripples when out as well.. idn if what I saw was sinister or not... my memory is blurred...with panic and fear...now I am OBSESSED with ensuring that I am not slurring my speech... I don't even want to talk anymore... because I am SO scared. Last night my boyfriend and I had a housewarming and I got VERY drunk,.. and I guess I said the word "Jar" like "Jaw" and my friend and boyfriend made fun of me and pointed it out... this started a panic. I know logically I was drunk but I can't fight the feeling that I am slurring... I am VERY aware of my tongue now, I notice every time it catches on my teeth and how much saliva I am producing..
I need support, I am sick of taking out my anxiety on my boyfriend... I know it is eating him up inside as it is eating me up... I debated going to the hospital..
:weep:
I have a neurologist appointment on friday and all I can think is that he is going to look in my mouth and tell me I have ALS tongue twitching...
Please help me...