Anger Issues

[rcs]

Hi,
I have posted a few times in the last couple of weeks and my anxiety and depression seems to have got worse recently .
A lot of the symptoms I can tolerate on the whole as I have been suffering with GAD and social anxiety for many years but at the moment my temper can be bad in certain situations and I seem to struggle to control it . Normally I would walk away from situations or ignore them but my fight or flight is definitely fight! at the moment a red mist seems to descend and I swear out loud or square up to people who I feel have been bad mannered or rude.
It is the classic trigger situations such as busy shops, streets , buses etc. and loud noises can trigger a response. A lot of the time I regret my actions and try to remember not to fall for it again or get drawn in to petty squabbling or pushing when I feel someone is going to walk in front of me or jump a queue, I also get angry with people speaking loudly on mobile phones which I think is bad manners and intrusive.
I hope these stupid aggressive outburst will pass and I know that its my anxiety making it worse but I worry I will get myself in trouble or someone else, I don't think I would be violent but a meltdown in public would really upset me at the moment.
I hope I do not sound too much like a thug or a stereotypical male who is not dealing with his anger/anxiety issues, typing this down helps me put it into perspective and I wondered if any one else suffered with anger problems.

Cheers Bob:mad:

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Bob,

I've had some angry outbursts through the course of mine but more in my relapse.

The thing is, I don't see this as because of anxiety, I see this as lashing out when we are in pain. People in pain seem to have less control of their anger. People who have a rough night can be snappy.

For me I tend to do the things that are aimed at recovering from anxiety to reduce anger too. I think unless you already had an anger problem before, this should be enough because by removing what is a relentless pain, we will be less likely to snap.

Where you express anger I find it is always best to go for a quicker apology to people. This is because if I resolve it quickly, I won't be stewing on it for hours afterwards.

There are situations where anger is not always wrong (although expressing it may be) and anyone may feel the same. If someone pushes past you in a queue, it annoys anyone. In many cases it can start fights, verbal, physical or both.

Maybe the way is to acknowledge that you feel anger and then work through the situation in your head first? Try to argue against it by asking yourself what it will achieve, is it my place to say something, etc.

It can be a pain in some situations because if someone does push past you, part of you doesn't want to appear weak. This can also depend on where you are I think. If you are in a nice area with nice people then discussion may be enough but if you are in a rough area, there could be consequences and how you deal with that situation could be different otherwise you don't get your point across. People say turn the other cheek and be bigger than the other person but its not easy when you feel someone is taking advantage of you.

[NoPoet]

As above, that's good advice.

Try not to be afraid or ashamed of being angry. Anger is a normal emotion that can provoke the illness by creating unhelpful thoughts and behaviour. It may just be the natural result of fear and frustration. Don't try to bury it ir run away from it. When you feel angry, allow yourself to BE angry, and let the emotion go like mist evaporating on a spring morning.

It's not wrong to feel angry. It's only wrong when you use this to hurt others. So remember - acknowledge it, understand when you're feeling it and let it go. It's not as easy as that, but the things that matter rarely come easily.

[rcs]

Yes thanks for advice , I am trying to formulate a strategy to cope with anger issues at least I recognise it as a problem and I am prepared to try different tactics to change my actions . I am not guilty of avoiding situations but I will for a while and when I go into busy areas with a friend or a member of my family I am a bit more relaxed.
I have to accept I get scared in crowds and in queues and let these feelings pass but being nice all the time can be exhausting as well so a compromise should be reached.
I knew it was going to be long road to get better and accept my anxiety disorder and all the problems it throws up and one thing I have learnt is fighting it doesn't seem to work.

:mad: