biggerthanmybody
07-05-15, 00:18
Hello, this will probably be really long, but I'll try to make it brief. I've had generalized anxiety ever since I was a kid - ever since I can remember. I had a traumatic childhood, so I know that has a lot to do with it. I did okay, though, and was able to cope. I had a panic attack every once in awhile, but I didn't even realize what it was at the time and they weren't too unbearable and weren't frequent.
Fast forward, when I was 20 I had a traumatic late term miscarriage then at 21 had a baby with an extremely difficult delivery - I thought one or both of us were going to die. Afterwards I knew I had postpartum depression, and maybe even a touch of PTSD after going through those terrible experiences. My OB put me on Zoloft 50mg for the PPD and it worked wonders, and took away my generalized anxiety and panic attacks as well. I continued taking it for 7 years since it helped me so much.
Two years ago I thought I was doing well and had been on it long enough, so I weaned off very slowly. I've been off it for two years and at first I was okay. But 10 months ago my husband lost his job and has been out of work since. My life is incredibly stressful and has been for nearly a year, and I've begun having major, frequent panic attacks and can't take it anymore. They've intensified over the past month and are happening at *least* several times a week now, sometimes every day. I can't take it anymore and feel like I should go back on the Zoloft. I can see myself getting more and more "triggers" and avoiding more things to try to prevent panic attacks and don't want to become agoraphobic.
My husband is EXTREMELY unsupportive of all of this in general. I had a panic attack today (we weren't expecting anyone and all of a sudden someone rang my doorbell over and over like 10 times in a row and it threw me into a panic attack - doorbell ringing is one of my triggers due to some past experiences, I know it probably sounds ridiculous but it's a long story). He snapped at me "you're so annoying" and that I was "scared for nothing" (yes that's basically the definition of a panic attack) and that I'm "being ridiculous". Of course being snapped at rudely makes the panic attack worse, I need reassurance and support, not contempt.
After that I finally called the dr to schedule an appointment so I can get back on my Zoloft. When I told him he made a face and was like "ugh". He's made it pretty clear he doesn't want me to go back on Zoloft yet he isn't supportive of me in dealing with the panic attacks without meds, either. I've already tried all the "natural" stuff I can think of that's supposed to help - I started taking vitamins and supplements, I exercise 5-6 days a week, I'm trying to get 8 hours of sleep every night, I've read a bunch of "how to get rid of anxiety" books. He thinks this is all in my head and I need to suck it up and stop being "annoying and ridiculous". I don't have any supportive friends either so I'm hoping to find some support in this community. Thanks for reading my long intro and rant ... it's much appreciated!
Fast forward, when I was 20 I had a traumatic late term miscarriage then at 21 had a baby with an extremely difficult delivery - I thought one or both of us were going to die. Afterwards I knew I had postpartum depression, and maybe even a touch of PTSD after going through those terrible experiences. My OB put me on Zoloft 50mg for the PPD and it worked wonders, and took away my generalized anxiety and panic attacks as well. I continued taking it for 7 years since it helped me so much.
Two years ago I thought I was doing well and had been on it long enough, so I weaned off very slowly. I've been off it for two years and at first I was okay. But 10 months ago my husband lost his job and has been out of work since. My life is incredibly stressful and has been for nearly a year, and I've begun having major, frequent panic attacks and can't take it anymore. They've intensified over the past month and are happening at *least* several times a week now, sometimes every day. I can't take it anymore and feel like I should go back on the Zoloft. I can see myself getting more and more "triggers" and avoiding more things to try to prevent panic attacks and don't want to become agoraphobic.
My husband is EXTREMELY unsupportive of all of this in general. I had a panic attack today (we weren't expecting anyone and all of a sudden someone rang my doorbell over and over like 10 times in a row and it threw me into a panic attack - doorbell ringing is one of my triggers due to some past experiences, I know it probably sounds ridiculous but it's a long story). He snapped at me "you're so annoying" and that I was "scared for nothing" (yes that's basically the definition of a panic attack) and that I'm "being ridiculous". Of course being snapped at rudely makes the panic attack worse, I need reassurance and support, not contempt.
After that I finally called the dr to schedule an appointment so I can get back on my Zoloft. When I told him he made a face and was like "ugh". He's made it pretty clear he doesn't want me to go back on Zoloft yet he isn't supportive of me in dealing with the panic attacks without meds, either. I've already tried all the "natural" stuff I can think of that's supposed to help - I started taking vitamins and supplements, I exercise 5-6 days a week, I'm trying to get 8 hours of sleep every night, I've read a bunch of "how to get rid of anxiety" books. He thinks this is all in my head and I need to suck it up and stop being "annoying and ridiculous". I don't have any supportive friends either so I'm hoping to find some support in this community. Thanks for reading my long intro and rant ... it's much appreciated!