Monophobia [Archive] - No More Panic

Moonstone

24-01-07, 20:52

groovygranny

24-01-07, 21:45

Hi Moonstone!

I don't suffer from monophobia, but I know how horrible the feeling of being left alone was when I was really poorly. It was terrible so I really feel for you.

I haven't really got any advice to give you, but perhaps a little encouragement. You have certainly come to the right place here! I have been helped greatly over the last number of days by the lovely, and also suffering, people on this website.

I sincerely hope your fortunes take a turn for the better very soon.

lotsa luv to you

GG [:P]

xx

'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'

belle

24-01-07, 22:19

Hi there...
I suffered with that fear between 1999 - 2002. It was horrendous. I would spend the entire day panicking while my husband was at work, it was worse for the 5 minutes it took him to get there and the same in the evening when he was coming home. I would have to be "baby-sat" whilst he went shopping or if he wanted to go anywhere else.

Today, i am no longer monophobic, i still suffer terribly with agoraphobia and panic attacks. I recovered from it when i split with my ex and my now husband was living 200 miles away, i had no choice but to be alone! It was horrible at the time, but now, i enjoy being on my own and in a couple of weeks my husband is going away training for his new job....for 6 weeks!
If you want to chat, feel free to PM me :)

Sarah

Reemy

24-01-07, 22:37

Moonstone,
I'm sorry for what you're going through. I find whenever my health anxiety ramps up (like it has now), I get a terrible fear of being alone. I get symptoms of a real heart problem, as well as anxiety related heart symptoms. Sometimes I have trouble distiguishing them. I become obsessed with the idea that something will happen and no one will be here to help me. Of course, the mere thought of that can start a panic attack.

I know at times I have put my husband's job at risk from calling him to come home while I'm in panic. And it never seems like he can get here soon enough. I usually have to call a friend to help me bridge that time.

I wish I had some helpful advice for you, but I haven't found the fix for myself yet. Just know that you aren't alone in this.

Best of luck.
~Reemy

sandlin

25-01-07, 18:16

Hi

I also hate being alone especially at night time. I have to have someone stay over if hubby goes away overnight. I also struggle to drive down uninhabited stretches of road even during daylight hours because of the same reasons. Just hope i get the courage to go through it

Linda xx

Moonstone

25-01-07, 18:48

im so grateful for your replies......its reassuring to know im not alone.
i feel very bad about this problem, i really feel like a small child, i hate having this fear, its been by far the most restricting thing ive got!! i can seem to cope with the other things....but not this.
i have this hypnotherapist guy coming on monday ( i did my homework and he comes very highly recommended ) i hope he can help.
love and hugs
moon
x

Ma Larkin

26-01-07, 09:20

Hi Moon, I suffered from monophobia when I was diagnosed with clinical depression 10 years ago. Funnily enough, I didn't start having panic attacks or anxiety until 2 years ago, so I know the 2 aren't linked for me personally. The panic attacks & anxiety for me are worse than the monophobia was. I think at the time I was just really insecure & worried about anything & everything. I was young & had a family & a not so helpful husband. I was scared of being left on my own with the kids who were only babies. I was constantly tired because I didn't get any help & one day I just snapped. I ended up with my mum having to "babysit" me. I did get over it, but it took me about 6 years. I woke up one morning & thought "this is no good for me, my kids are suffering & I want to be me again". I forced myself out, got a social life & said to myself that "anything he can do, I can do to" (which is my husband thinking he was a bachelor & spent all his time with his mates, playing football all weekend, & in the pub). Unfortunately, the relationship didn't last, but I am more confident than ever now & it's not often that I get depressed. I get lonely (I'm on my own now & my youngest two are only 9 & 6, my eldest is 18 so she's a bit of a party animal!!)

I know things are tought for you at the moment, it must be hard for you with the housing situation, but I wish you all the best & hope things improve soon.

Les, xx

joelhall

26-01-07, 16:34

I have the same thing. Before I suffered with panic I used to love having some time to myself, but now I'm so bad I go into a blind panic if I'm on my own for more than a few seconds. It gets to the point where I won't sit in a different room from Angela, and she always does the shopping early while I'm asleep so that I won't be alone. At my parents I won't go anywhere without my mum or dad with me and this is causing so much trounle in other people's lives.

clickaway

26-01-07, 18:46

I have lived on my own for the past 10 years, and have had anxiety for the past three. Also during the past three years I have not worked and so have been cut off from a lot of daily communication, even though I do have daily contact with two fabulous msn friends as well as cybercontact with others here and elsewhere.

In the past few months, my separation anxiety has really showed itself. The worse time is when I go to bed at night. I just get into a body tremor as soon as I hit the pillow and it will often take me two hours before before I can get off to sleep.

I know why I am like this. When I was 5 years old, my mum had to go into hospital for 6 weeks and I was placed with an aunt for that period without seeing either of my parents or my brother. I just remember coming back crying and rejecting my mum.

Two years later I was briefly separated from mum on the London Underground, and when I was 11 I was in an isolation hospital for three weeks. Its no wonder I am frightened of being alone.

The funny thing is I enjoy my own company - maybe the adjustment with living with someone would be too much, even though it could be wonderful.

Ray

http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

Piglet

26-01-07, 19:02

I'm like that Ray, in that I do like my own company too but too much and I can notice my mood lowering.

I have had odd bouts of monophobia in the past but that seems to have given way to agoraphobia now. So in that sense I am monophobic only when I am outside if that makes sense!!

Moonstone I think you sound a most interesting person (you've surely gotta be a crystal lover choosing that name:D) - I look forward to gettin to know you and I am sure you will find the site very reassuring.

A very big welcome to you!! :D

Piglet :)

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

Californiartist

26-01-07, 23:21

I'm also new to this board Moonstone. And like you I am an artist (painter) and I also suffering from this very depressing fear. I find myself alone more these days because both my sons are away at university and my husband has to sometimes be away 2 nights a week . The distance he goes is sometimes blindingly scary. I know my neighbors but it's not the same as having people under the same roof as you. I do stay at home far too much because of my work and think that has contributed to the agoraphobia stuff as well. I just read the the two phobias tend to go hand in hand. It's painful to be alone. I count the hours until my husband is home. He's very understanding and we talk several times a day /night while he is away. I try to go with him on the longer trips but this is becoming cost prohibative. I just hope that this moment at work will end soon and he can stay home most weeks without traveling. I love it when I'm painting because all of this stuff just leaves my head. And that's what I think happens to you as well,no? But sometimes the work doesn't come into our heads and we are left with our own hamster in a wheel thoughts. We need to see friends more maybe. The problem is perhaps we don't havbe as many friends as we ought to because of our problems. It's a tough gig but talking it out a little on a board like this is somewhat cathartic. I wish you good luck and good health. I hope things get better soon, Moonstone.

Rennie1989

27-01-07, 23:33

I'm not scared of being on my own short term, like being on my own in the house for a couple of hours, but I do fear being on my own in the longterm like not having a boyfriend/husband. Although that is a totally different thing all together.

It does bring me down sometimes

"My teddy last night was a paper bag, to keep my safe."

Sax

28-01-07, 06:57

moonstone, i love your nickname xxxx

A very warm welcome to NMP and no you are certainly not alone. I think you realise by the replies that there are many supportive people here and i hope you find the support you are looking for.
Btw have you seen Brian Frouds faeries oracle, i've just bought it absolutely awesome artwork!!!!:D

Take care moonstone and hope to meet you in chat sometime

love Sax xxx

Moonstone

29-01-07, 19:42

wow! what can i say.....i feel reassured and at the same time so saddened to read that so many feel like this, my heartfelt wishes and loads of faery kisses go out to all of you.
Californiaartist......yes i do lose myself in my artwork, i had always maintained that i could only copy others work and that i had no imagination but since ive had depression so bad it seemed as if something touched me creatively and i found myself painting all sorts of magical fantasy creatures for unicorns to faeries.....i hope you continue to enjoy your painting and perhaps you would share some of your work with me if its possible? i would love to see[^]
Sax.....yes! i have the Brian Froud Faery Oracle, he is one of my favourite fae artists along with Josephine Wall, Jessica Galbreath and Arthur Rackham....if youre intersted in Faeries check out the artwork of these people, you will love it!
i also read the Tarot....but thats another story!:D
i had the hypnotherapy chap today and he was really good, and i got on very well with him, i have very positive hope that he can help but i know i have to work hard at that.....im ready for it!
thank you all so much again for your lovely replies....:)
moon
xxx

Nicki22

23-02-07, 15:18

I know the feeling of feeling this way i cant be left alone or go out my own front door alone that makes me feel so helpless and so low...i have to rely on my partner a lot and that hurts as he can not work as he as to look after me....He will soon have to work as i got kicked off the sick which im soooo freaking out that i will be forced into work myself its makeing me ill :(

Barb

23-02-07, 17:04

Monophobia is awful, I suffered for years and used to sit on the sofa clutching the door handle waiting for my sons school coach to pull up in terrible states, but I overcome that and like being on my own now, I just wish I could get over the agoraphobia, although I am trying really hard to push myself more after reading all the success stories here

Take care

Barb xx

russ

23-02-07, 21:27

I have shown signs of developing this as well as agoraphobia.

Basically I cannot stand the thought of being alone for long-ish periods or stand to be out of contact with people or without certain 'comfort blankets'.

Not sure where it will end!

Meg

23-02-07, 22:00

Moonstone

As your hypnotist probably told you, after having a healthscare and unfamiliar palpitations certainly come into that catagory, it is very common to get scared of being alone.

It is a normal human reaction.

This only becomes an issue when after being medically checked out and learning about anxiety, palpitations and how inconvenient but not dangerous they are to us that you need to start to deal with the fear.

I hope that you manage to overcome this and also hopefully the agoraphobia will fall next.

bluebottle

24-02-07, 17:21

I wonder if this phobia is based more on a person being an "adult child"? Do we feel that we are not capable of looking out for ourselves, that we are not good enough to meet our own needs, that we need others to create our happiness and sense of being? I know that if I'm in a relationship I feel a complete person, and when I'm not I feel almost as though I don't exist. This is because I look to others too much for my needs, and don't believe in myself enough.

PUGLETMUM

15-04-08, 10:05

:hugs: hey merelymellow, there is another current thread about this phobia- which i also struggle with if you dont get a reply from here, because ive noticed it is an old thread? the new one will be in the 'active topics' under last two days/last week. you are welcome to join that thread:yesyes:

LINDAJOY

15-04-08, 10:28

does anyone here suffer from monophobia ( fear of being alone/left alone ) ?
ive developed this very badly after suffering severe palpitations in May last year, i suffer from clinical depression, PTSD and agraphobia as well and i REALLY dont need anymore crap in my life right now.
we've saved some money to enable me to have hypnotherapy to try and help alleviate this problem, we are still homeless after 3 years, will not go back into council housing as we were twice victimised by neighbours and had to leave two houses in succession ( that is the reason for the CD and PTSD ) my disabled partner is trying to get work and cannot go for interviews as long as i am like this.......im just so low about everything.
im really needing some support and have been to scared to post and ask.......im sorry.
moon
x
as soon as Jon gets work we are going to try and buy a narrowboat to live on, i am hoping to set up a small business as a book illustrator i also do fantasy and faery artwork.......i have some goals to fulfill in my life.....i dont want to waste my time being afraid of being left alone.:(
Hi Moonstone,
I eally sympathise with what you are going through.I have had a fear of being alone and it terrifies me.i also have agoraphobia it feels awful,as if i want to have friends but how can i with agoraphobia.I lean on my husband a lot,and he has a hospital stay to go to today and its terrifing me,as i panic so bad when he is not at home. I dont have any friends really as i dont am unable and terrified to go out. This group is so kind and helpful and caring. plese im me whenever you like,i will always try to help you.
take care love Lindajoy x x x x x x

alexius

18-04-08, 14:35

I am feeling so bad at the moment

Last week i finished with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years as I really wanted to move home (5hours away) to be nearer my family. I've had panic/anxiety for the last 6 months and it's driving me mad. My bloke wouldn't move with me which was sad but I had to be nearer my family as I missed them so much.

At the moment I'm going through such a hard time about being on my own in the future. I'm so worried that my parents are going to die (my dad is 70 and my mum is 63) and I'm only 23. I'm so scared that I'm going to live alone with no friends for the rest of my life. I'm also worried that my anxiety will get so bad that I can't work and I'll end up homeless..

This is tearing me apart. No amount of talking myself through it and telling myself I'm stupid is helping..

I'm at my wits end and it's making me so ill. I can't sleep, eat or do anything!!

Please someone help me!

monophobia

13-01-09, 12:58

hi i'm a university student and i'm making a short film about monophobia for one of my projects. ive found it very hard to get some information about this phobia, and i would be very grateful if i could speak to someone who suffers from it and understand it better.

Georgia!

14-08-10, 23:19

I have monophobia and have had since I was about 6...on and off...sometimes for periods I can cope with it, others I become a child and break down!

I am extremely frustrated and embarassed about this phobia and rarely tell people about it. When I was younger my parents didnt really know how to deal with it and never admitted to it being a problem...they didnt really have to face it, I found my own ways to cope, my friend would walk me to my door where if my sister wasn't in, I was shut my cats in a room with me so that I wasn't alone...if my cats were out I would freak and go knockin on every neighbours door until someone answered and tell them my parents told me to go there and wait for them...trust this is humiliating when your 13 and still doing this!

I'm now 20 and have the most amazing partner who trys to help cope...by speaking on the phone the entire journey from work to home because I can't cope by myself!

I start a new job in september and can't have this phobia...it is the bain of my life and I think about in every plan of the day...constantly I hear my coming up with ridiculous scenarios of when I might be by myself and what could happen if I am!!

I'm not scared that I'l hurt myself or come to any physical harm, it's more a fear that everyone will disappear, I know it's irrational, and I know I am loved but this childish fear just won't go away!

Please...any suggestions...thank you x

abcheck12

29-04-11, 06:28

Monophobia is often seen as part of the agoraphobic cluster. According to research, there are no particular personality differences between agoraphobics and membersMonophobia is often seen as part of the agoraphobic cluster. According to research, there are no particular personality differences between agoraphobics and members of the general population. of the general population.

Janet Watkins

16-09-11, 13:50

I am suffering terribly from monophobia after my husband left me (after 31 years) a few weeks ago. He was threatening to go so I half expected it. I have to find somewhere to go every evening and weekends. It is getting wearing on my family and friends. I didn't know I had it until he actually went. Now am in a constant panic, before I leave work or a friend's house to go home. Am looking into going into sheltered accommodation when the divorce is finalised and the house sold. Although am 55, will have to live with much older people there just so I'm not alone. May get a Paul McKenna tape?