looking4answers
25-01-07, 01:02
I have laid around alot in the past five or six months although i keep busy more than I used to.I was sitting in my bed this afternoon thinking and my wife was asleep.she does this alot because we have people working here and I have to get up to check on things they ask about.She was sleeping and I had been outside doing something and came back in to rest.I could hear my heart beat.. and a continued beat then something like a catch up beat..It was beating hard but not fast.I was thinking so many things and wondering what was in store for us the rest of our life. I miss doing things outside so much.We have to get out every few days but we stay in most days only venturing out to feed the dogs or something quick.Other days we go into town but only for an hour or two..I started worrying that what if we just waste away..I got frightened because I have heard if you don't stay busy you will die.. that scared me and then I have thought if I get up and start getting busy and my heart beats too fast I could die..I get scared because i don't know which to do .. It seems im stuck ..I miss so much getting out.. I feel that im just doomed here to a life of the indoors..Its winter time and im sure this is normal but I started doing it before winter.The doctors tell me that im ok and no reason to worry about health and also a friend of mine that is a nurse says I just have to get going..I do but I hear that dreadfull noise and worry that those beats that sound odd is something sinister going on..Im stuck and scared and don't know what to do...how have you guys handled that im sure that a lot of you hace felt the same in the past..
PRAYER FOR FREEDOM FROM SUFFERING
May all beings everywhere plagued
with sufferings of body and mind
quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power,
and may people think of befriending each other.
May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wilderness--
the children, the aged, the unprotected--
be guarded by beneficent celestials,
and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.
PRAYER FOR FREEDOM FROM SUFFERING
May all beings everywhere plagued
with sufferings of body and mind
quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power,
and may people think of befriending each other.
May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wilderness--
the children, the aged, the unprotected--
be guarded by beneficent celestials,
and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.