believingin urself and reasurance

[tricia56]

hi as you all know ive been struggling for yrs with anxiety and ive always kept asking for reassurance I/e helplines or on here and not believing in myself and always looking for answers but just over a week ago I just said to myself feck iti m not going to fight it anymore so for the past week I have been trying to believe in myself and not ask for reassurance and instead of reaching for the fone to call someone because of the way I feel instead Ive been learning to reassure myself and stop myself from foning helplines or come on here and just try to let it be there and calm myself down, its been very hard doing it and it will take time but I just think that by learning to believe in myself and cut down on asking for reassurance it maybe will help me on the road to recovery or to be able to mange the anxiety a lot better and not be fraid of the anxiety because that's what ive been doing for the past 9yrs afraid of it x

[Davit]

That is a start and a very positive attitude and as I keep repeating, positive attitude is the key. After that cognitive restructuring will come easier.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Reassurance is a normal thing for people, its when it becomes a out of normal range that it becomes a problem. So, bringing it back into theat normal range by reassuring yourself and not going to others for it is the thing to do.

Use the CBT tools like Thought Records which work well for this when its about thoughts.

Sometimes breaking a cycle is about taking a break from things that easily influence you to engage in it so having a break away from here can be a good strategy.

[jonjones]

Hi Tricia,

You poor woman! I can feel your despair and frustration in your post!

I know that you have been battling on for so long, trying your best but you just can´t seem to get a handle on things.

I remember I used to hope to myself that things would change, that maybe next year I´d be back to my old myself. But then next year woould come and I´d still be the same, if not worse! I figured anxiety suddenly came into my life, so maybe it can suddenly just leave as well, but it never did!

I have, however, came very far in the last few years. I no longer have agoraphobia, my social anxiety is no longer inhibiting my life, I am becoming a confident guy, at ease in my own skin, and that´s been a long time waiting! :)

I´m also no longer taking meds, that just seemd to numb me, or going to counselling, which helped, but I never really felt understood by my counsellors!

Anyway, as I´m sure you´ll know if you´ve read my posts, I have been using Dr Claire Weekes´ method to help me recover. Here´s how it´s worked for me;

1. I have learned how my emotions are recorded by my body, and that my body has become tired or fatigued from constantly recording strong emotions, fear, frsutration, despair etc.

2. Because it´s tired it exagerratedly records my emotions. So feeling fear now makes me panic out of proportion to the actual fear I feel. For eg a friend may say ¨Jon, I have something to tell you!¨ And I think ¨Oh my God, what´s happened, something terrible must have happened and I feel panicky, heart palpitates, tension etc etc.

But then it turns out, he´s just asking a harmless question, like what did you thnk of the footy the last night etc!

3. How the symptoms are caused by adrenaline and tension, and that by fighting against them, being agitated, etc feeds them. So instead it is best to go as limp as possible. Loosen up your shoulders, arms, and tummy. Let your arms shoulders, and tummy sag. Give up resistence. Deep breaths and let everythig drop. Especially drop that tense tummy!

This was what Weekes called acceptance! Basically letting go of the tense hold on yourself, and willingly feeling how you feel! She believed, as do I, that resistence to how you feel keeps us in this state. But utter acceptance, along with building your confidence, which I´ll discuss in a second, cures you!

4. Deal with difficult situation with acceptance, let go, deep breaths, exhale slowly and loosen up your shoulders, arms and tummy, and go forward, move forward slowly into situations that scare you.

Then, record and remember these moments of success, by ocassionally reflecting on them. This is what builds your confidence. You start to think, ¨well, I dealt with a very anxious moment before by leting go, accepting, what´s to stop me coping with other situations I find scary!¨ And the beauiful truth is nothing gonna stop you!

Once you build your confidence, or what Weekes called, the right inner voice, up strong enough then you can feel panicky, heart palpitating, stomach churning, or whatever symptoms you have, but not let it affect you at all. This is when you are cured!

Sounds too simple I know, but as Weekes says, it´s simple but not easy. Cause the natural inclination is to fight. But with practise I have been getting there!

I wish you the best!

Take care!

Jon