lior
11-05-15, 21:08
The Stranger on the Bridge is on 4od.
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-stranger-on-the-bridge/on-demand
Available for the next 23 days.
It's about a man looking for a man that talked him out of throwing himself off a bridge. During his search, he speaks to a lady that lost her brother to suicide. He expresses how it felt to be suicidal.
I would be interested to know what other people make of it.
For me, it hit on wounds not yet healed. How a boyfriend, my best friend, broke up with me when I had just become suicidal. How a friend was unkind to me, threatening, and angry at me while I was suicidal another time. A stranger on a bridge can be there, but people I chose to be close to me made things worse, the moments where they could have been heroic.
The friends that are there for people who have been suicidal are the ones who should be even more appreciated than the strangers on the bridges. Those people have to put up with a lot through a sustained amount of time.
The lady whose brother died asked the guy in the TV show why he didn't ask his family for help. You can watch the show for his response. I didn't ask my family for help because I was told off if I ever cried, or showed any kind of emotion other than happiness. Once I'd recovered from my first round of depression a few years ago, my mum reminded me every so often that she didn't like it that I'd been depressed, because it was like 'walking on eggshells' around me. Since she seemed to find her experience of my depression more concerning than my experience of it, I never felt able to open up to her again. When I finally told her I was depressed last year during round 2 of my depression, she shouted at me. That was the last time I spoke to her, and right now I never want to have to speak to her again.
I didn't ask many other people for help because in our society, we are meant to be happy all of the time. We are not meant to admit that we struggle. We are not meant to admit that we have been out of employment. I've covered up depression from colleagues, housemates, friends of friends, because I believe they won't want to be around someone who is depressed. I can't even 'come out' about depression to other people who are open about their mental health struggles sometimes. I've hid intensely suicidal emotions from the world, and I carried on going to job interviews and making new friends. So many people never suspected. It took so much effort. And I have to keep up the pretence that everything is ok, and I didn't go through all that pain, even now. Because if I come out about depression, I won't be trusted in the same way any more.
So my experience compares badly to the guy in the TV show. A stranger helped him. Many of my friends and family did not help me, and in fact made things much worse at times.
I guess that's why his story makes it as a TV show, and my story is going to be a novel. I don't have a coherent ending yet.
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-stranger-on-the-bridge/on-demand
Available for the next 23 days.
It's about a man looking for a man that talked him out of throwing himself off a bridge. During his search, he speaks to a lady that lost her brother to suicide. He expresses how it felt to be suicidal.
I would be interested to know what other people make of it.
For me, it hit on wounds not yet healed. How a boyfriend, my best friend, broke up with me when I had just become suicidal. How a friend was unkind to me, threatening, and angry at me while I was suicidal another time. A stranger on a bridge can be there, but people I chose to be close to me made things worse, the moments where they could have been heroic.
The friends that are there for people who have been suicidal are the ones who should be even more appreciated than the strangers on the bridges. Those people have to put up with a lot through a sustained amount of time.
The lady whose brother died asked the guy in the TV show why he didn't ask his family for help. You can watch the show for his response. I didn't ask my family for help because I was told off if I ever cried, or showed any kind of emotion other than happiness. Once I'd recovered from my first round of depression a few years ago, my mum reminded me every so often that she didn't like it that I'd been depressed, because it was like 'walking on eggshells' around me. Since she seemed to find her experience of my depression more concerning than my experience of it, I never felt able to open up to her again. When I finally told her I was depressed last year during round 2 of my depression, she shouted at me. That was the last time I spoke to her, and right now I never want to have to speak to her again.
I didn't ask many other people for help because in our society, we are meant to be happy all of the time. We are not meant to admit that we struggle. We are not meant to admit that we have been out of employment. I've covered up depression from colleagues, housemates, friends of friends, because I believe they won't want to be around someone who is depressed. I can't even 'come out' about depression to other people who are open about their mental health struggles sometimes. I've hid intensely suicidal emotions from the world, and I carried on going to job interviews and making new friends. So many people never suspected. It took so much effort. And I have to keep up the pretence that everything is ok, and I didn't go through all that pain, even now. Because if I come out about depression, I won't be trusted in the same way any more.
So my experience compares badly to the guy in the TV show. A stranger helped him. Many of my friends and family did not help me, and in fact made things much worse at times.
I guess that's why his story makes it as a TV show, and my story is going to be a novel. I don't have a coherent ending yet.