fear of being accused of benefit fraud??? (huge vent)

[AthenaFaeyrn]

All of the "we're going to find you and get you!" posters and news stories about benefit frauds terrify me.

I feel like "what if I am a fake? what if I am a fake and I just don't know it??? Is my depression and anxiety really so bad?? what if it's subconscious and deep down, I actually DON'T have anxiety and depression AT ALL and I'm just a deeply work shy and lazy person who is looking for excuses????"

Does anyone else feel this way? I hate it so much. My Dr gave me a sick note thing for 12 weeks off work, meds, referral for therapy, but I HATE THE WHOLE BENEFITS PROCESS. It's like just pure terror the whole way through and I can't bring myself to do it even if it means getting me out of poverty.

Away from this fear, my depression is actually so bad that I cannot look after myself at all. I have been mostly bed-ridden for over a year. I sleep in blood-stained bedsheets because I can't even bring myself to wash my laundry in the tiny sink I have because I've been too poor to afford a washing machine for over 2 years so everything has to be washed by hand. Depression and anxiety affects every. single. aspect of my life. I hate hate hate the benefits process and how I am treated like a fine mentally able person who is able to call up no problem, leave the house no problem, speak to people no problem.. I'm wearing blood stained jeans for gods sake. I STINK. I am disgusting. My breath could probably make someone faint. I can't leave the house unless I'm wearing my hoodie, my coat, and I have my hood up so I can be seen as little as possible and it's BOILING hot outside. I get out of breath and feel like I'm going to pass out if I walk too far because I barely even get out of bed and my body isn't used to moving. I can't do anything. If my boyfriend didn't cook for me, I would probably starve to death. Sometimes I try to do something useful like wash a couple of dishes, and I have to STOP halfway in because I feel like I'm going to black out or my legs give way.

How these benefits and government people think I can do everything they are asking of me to claim these things is BEYOND ME. I hate, hate, HATE them.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Try to rationalise these paranoid thoughts because if you were work shy or lazy, you wouldn't feel the anxiety with it, you just wouldn't be bothered doing anything.

Depression is also completely different and you know the difference because being lazy doesn't mean you feel bad about anything and it doesn't mean you don't have an interest in many things or take pleasure in them, unlike with depression which invades everything.

I really think your GP needs to be doing more for you, your anxiety seems severe. Given the issues you have at home, a therapist may not be the right way unless as part of a combined approach and maybe that needs to be co ordinated with a CMHT who can give you more support on daily issues.

I understand how you feel though, if I wasn't living at home I may have gone this way too as I was so anxious I didn't want to do anything whether washing, brushing my teeth or eating & drinking. Everything was a potential trigger and my anxiety was 24/7 and I just sit in front of the TV hating that and hating doing anything else.

[MidnightCalm]

I have the exact same concerns, i feel fraudulent because I claim for being agrophonic but some very rare days maybe once a month I can go out and try something then I worry that I'm a liar and should I cal and tell them otherwise someone might see me and say I'm healthy! It doesn't help that I stayed in my flat for months and then one of my friends had a birthday night out and I got really drunk and decided to try the bus and made it there and managed the night but had to be completely drunk and I fell out with this friend who called a benefit officer on me saying I'm not even ill!
Also I got a call saying I was being investigated about £7000 I never even knew about nor do I know about to this day that was apparently in a savings account, which I had to sign a thing saying I knew nothing about then heard nothing of it since and it's been about 6 months. I feel like with my illness they're constantly looking for anything I might do that they don't like and I'm scared to even try and get better.

[My Cat Boots]

to Athena and Midnight please don't let the benefit system bully you and make your illness worse.
You have every right to claim benefits no matter what others may think or whatever certain newspapers and the tories say to try and make people feel like scroungers or fraudsters.
I claim benefits because of anxiety and depression and have to go to medicals to prove i'm ill.
I used to hate this and it only made my condition worse,but now i get every bit of medical evidence from my doctor and psychiatric nurses to take with me.
I know i'm ill and i also know i do everything i can to make my life better.
I will never be made to feel guilty about that nor should you.

The fact that i can now stand up to them has helped my illness slightly and even though they threaten people with mental health problems with investigations and sanctions,which is a disgrace, i would urge anyone who suffers to do all they can to show how these problems affect your everyday life.
If you feel you are unable to do it yourself then get help,contact mental health charities,contact citizens advice,contact your MP,get help from friends family...if you don't do this your health and the health of others will only worsen.

We would all love to be healthy and get a job and get on with our lives but for some of us it's not that easy and we need all the help we can....never feel guilty about that.
John.