HelpMePlease14
13-05-15, 00:25
I have no family history of Lymphoma or any type of cancer for that matter but Im going to tell the Dr's I do just to be taken seriously.
I can't shake the feeling that I have it, even though I've been through this before with colon cancer. I got a Colonoscopy at 21 because I though I had colon cancer.
I do have symptoms of lymphoma (Lymph nodes in my neck, lower back pain, I wake up so tired its like I haven't slept at all, my head itches like hell even though I have clean hair, shooting pain in my lymph nodes and now weight loss but I guess that could be anxiety). I just worry that the road I'm going down on is going to be hell. I'm extremely depressed and I can't think about the positive things in my life because I keep thinking I'm not going to be here for then anyway.
I told myself (hey, lymphoma is rare) but then I read online that its a very common cancer for someone my age (21). I just can't take this anymore. I considered suicide but decided that it would be selfish to do something like that especially not knowing whether or not I have an illness. It has just gotten to the point that I feel like there is no way out. I've already diagnosed myself with stage IV lymphoma because I've read stories online of people my age being in the late stages of cancer.
This is literally going to kill me one way or another. I just wish to talk to someone outside of my family because they have already decided to stop taking me seriously even though I keep much of this internalized. I cry it out in the shower so I won't look weak in front of my family but this is ripping me apart.
I've seen people who are actually diagnosed with cancer have more strength than me. I wish I could see a psychiatrist or psychologist but I don't have health insurance at the moment.
Idk how to handle this.
I can't shake the feeling that I have it, even though I've been through this before with colon cancer. I got a Colonoscopy at 21 because I though I had colon cancer.
I do have symptoms of lymphoma (Lymph nodes in my neck, lower back pain, I wake up so tired its like I haven't slept at all, my head itches like hell even though I have clean hair, shooting pain in my lymph nodes and now weight loss but I guess that could be anxiety). I just worry that the road I'm going down on is going to be hell. I'm extremely depressed and I can't think about the positive things in my life because I keep thinking I'm not going to be here for then anyway.
I told myself (hey, lymphoma is rare) but then I read online that its a very common cancer for someone my age (21). I just can't take this anymore. I considered suicide but decided that it would be selfish to do something like that especially not knowing whether or not I have an illness. It has just gotten to the point that I feel like there is no way out. I've already diagnosed myself with stage IV lymphoma because I've read stories online of people my age being in the late stages of cancer.
This is literally going to kill me one way or another. I just wish to talk to someone outside of my family because they have already decided to stop taking me seriously even though I keep much of this internalized. I cry it out in the shower so I won't look weak in front of my family but this is ripping me apart.
I've seen people who are actually diagnosed with cancer have more strength than me. I wish I could see a psychiatrist or psychologist but I don't have health insurance at the moment.
Idk how to handle this.