Completely Convinced I have Lymphoma

[HelpMePlease14]

I have no family history of Lymphoma or any type of cancer for that matter but Im going to tell the Dr's I do just to be taken seriously.

I can't shake the feeling that I have it, even though I've been through this before with colon cancer. I got a Colonoscopy at 21 because I though I had colon cancer.

I do have symptoms of lymphoma (Lymph nodes in my neck, lower back pain, I wake up so tired its like I haven't slept at all, my head itches like hell even though I have clean hair, shooting pain in my lymph nodes and now weight loss but I guess that could be anxiety). I just worry that the road I'm going down on is going to be hell. I'm extremely depressed and I can't think about the positive things in my life because I keep thinking I'm not going to be here for then anyway.

I told myself (hey, lymphoma is rare) but then I read online that its a very common cancer for someone my age (21). I just can't take this anymore. I considered suicide but decided that it would be selfish to do something like that especially not knowing whether or not I have an illness. It has just gotten to the point that I feel like there is no way out. I've already diagnosed myself with stage IV lymphoma because I've read stories online of people my age being in the late stages of cancer.

This is literally going to kill me one way or another. I just wish to talk to someone outside of my family because they have already decided to stop taking me seriously even though I keep much of this internalized. I cry it out in the shower so I won't look weak in front of my family but this is ripping me apart.

I've seen people who are actually diagnosed with cancer have more strength than me. I wish I could see a psychiatrist or psychologist but I don't have health insurance at the moment.

Idk how to handle this.

[Gary A]

First off, lying to your doctor so he'll "take you seriously" is both morally wrong and counter productive. Why would you want your doctor to artificially up your risk of having cancer? That's just silly.

As for your symptoms, I don't see why you'd instantly arrive at lymphoma based on them. We all have lymph nodes in our neck, some are more prominent than others. An itchy scalp isn't a symptom of lymphoma, it's a symptom of a dry scalp. There are over the counter shampoos you can use for that. You're probably losing weight by having a poor appetite born from your anxiety, and you also won't be sleeping well because of the same issue, this will obviously be leaving you tired in the morning.

Suicide is not an option. Think about it, you're scared of having a life threatening illness so in order to rid yourself of that fear you're going to kill yourself? That doesn't make any sense.

I think you should see your doctor and tell them about all these disturbing thoughts and feelings. I don't think you have lymphoma, hell, I don't think you have even one symptom of it, but ask their opinion and they'll order some testing if they deem it necessary. DO NOT lie to your doctor in order to get testing that you don't need, it will only further your anxiety.

[HelpMePlease14]

First off, lying to your doctor so he'll "take you seriously" is both morally wrong and counter productive. Why would you want your doctor to artificially up your risk of having cancer? That's just silly.

As for your symptoms, I don't see why you'd instantly arrive at lymphoma based on them. We all have lymph nodes in our neck, some are more prominent than others. An itchy scalp isn't a symptom of lymphoma, it's a symptom of a dry scalp. There are over the counter shampoos you can use for that. You're probably losing weight by having a poor appetite born from your anxiety, and you also won't be sleeping well because of the same issue, this will obviously be leaving you tired in the morning.

Suicide is not an option. Think about it, you're scared of having a life threatening illness so in order to rid yourself of that fear you're going to kill yourself? That doesn't make any sense.

I think you should see your doctor and tell them about all these disturbing thoughts and feelings. I don't think you have lymphoma, hell, I don't think you have even one symptom of it, but ask their opinion and they'll order some testing if they deem it necessary. DO NOT lie to your doctor in order to get testing that you don't need, it will only further your anxiety.

I know in sound crazy but I can't control how I feel. Thats a major part of my problem. I know suicide sounds crazy given the fact that I want to live but I am afraid of the cyclical nature of HA. I thought I had colon cancer and after I knew I didn't I said it would never get that bad again... Well it did get "that bad" again and its worse this time. I just don't understand how people get through this.

[Emilym80]

Lymphoma is 'common' in people aged 21? Perhaps it's common relative to other cancers in people that age, but it'd still be rare. Over 50% of people diagnosed are aged 66+. You sound run down and anxious and you should never lie to your doctor- that may lead you down a long road of expensive and unnecessary testing and they're the best ones to decide whether or not you're likely to have lymphoma in the first place.

With all respect, your real doctor will be much better at diagnosing you than Dr Google. They've studied for at least 10 years and, with all due respect, how long have you studied medicine for?

See your GP if you feel you need to, but please don't lie to them. I would definitely recommend that you request some form of treatment or support for your anxiety, too.

All the best :)