Jono_Aussie
14-05-15, 05:02
hey guys,
im new to the forum, ive suffered GAD for many years now, and occasional obsessive thought.. hasnt been too bad til lately with my GAD its up and down alot but ive been fairly good for the last 6 months or so then bam ive tried not to think too much into being a new father when my wife was pregnant now a week after his birth well a few days after his birth ive started to get the intrusive sexual thoughts, around what if i molested him or acted in a sexual way, the thoughts are vivid in my mind, now i love my son and want to protect him which i think is why these thoughts have started, and everytime i think these thoughts i feel ashamed, and feel so out of character about thinking them, which has me feeling ill bathing him and changing him, when my wife goes out i fear something happening, then when she returns i feel what if something happened and my mind blanked it out and i didnt know what happened, but i know deep down this is not true, i spoke with my psychologist who says people who act on this have sexual fantasies and dont think before doing this stuff they just do it. and dont fear hurting the child but fear getting caught which is complete opposite to me, i also fear hurting him etc...
i know deep down these are just intrusive thoughts trying to make a way in, im just fearful of these thoughts and struggle to get over the what ifs i sapose and i guess its more a fear of peadofillia, or something as also when i was in my teens u stumbed across some teenage porn which wasnt quite legal i dont think, so ever since then ive looked at myself as a bad person but i know its in the past and i think i was just curious as its a taboo etc..
im currently practising mindfulness just watching these thoughts go by which is a bit hard but i think i manage, when they come into my head im like ahh its this intrusive thoughts coming through again im not going to answer ur questioning, but then i sometimes slip and start to drift further into the what ifs
but yeah if anyone else has had this feel free to share some insight, i knwo it will get better, but i often doubt and think its going to be their ever how can i look at my child with these thoughts forever but i know it will die down once i dont give it the attention, its happened before when ive had some in the past so im 100% certain it will happen again and fade.
thanks for listening
im new to the forum, ive suffered GAD for many years now, and occasional obsessive thought.. hasnt been too bad til lately with my GAD its up and down alot but ive been fairly good for the last 6 months or so then bam ive tried not to think too much into being a new father when my wife was pregnant now a week after his birth well a few days after his birth ive started to get the intrusive sexual thoughts, around what if i molested him or acted in a sexual way, the thoughts are vivid in my mind, now i love my son and want to protect him which i think is why these thoughts have started, and everytime i think these thoughts i feel ashamed, and feel so out of character about thinking them, which has me feeling ill bathing him and changing him, when my wife goes out i fear something happening, then when she returns i feel what if something happened and my mind blanked it out and i didnt know what happened, but i know deep down this is not true, i spoke with my psychologist who says people who act on this have sexual fantasies and dont think before doing this stuff they just do it. and dont fear hurting the child but fear getting caught which is complete opposite to me, i also fear hurting him etc...
i know deep down these are just intrusive thoughts trying to make a way in, im just fearful of these thoughts and struggle to get over the what ifs i sapose and i guess its more a fear of peadofillia, or something as also when i was in my teens u stumbed across some teenage porn which wasnt quite legal i dont think, so ever since then ive looked at myself as a bad person but i know its in the past and i think i was just curious as its a taboo etc..
im currently practising mindfulness just watching these thoughts go by which is a bit hard but i think i manage, when they come into my head im like ahh its this intrusive thoughts coming through again im not going to answer ur questioning, but then i sometimes slip and start to drift further into the what ifs
but yeah if anyone else has had this feel free to share some insight, i knwo it will get better, but i often doubt and think its going to be their ever how can i look at my child with these thoughts forever but i know it will die down once i dont give it the attention, its happened before when ive had some in the past so im 100% certain it will happen again and fade.
thanks for listening