Just Realised The Biggest Mistake I was Making

[jonjones]

Hey,

¨He who seeks rest finds boredom. He who seeks work finds rest.¨
Dylan Thomas


This couldn´t be more true when it comes to coping with anxiety! I don´t know about you but I have a very bad habit of sitting down, and focusing on making my symptoms better. I take deep breaths, and try my best to accept. And then five minutes later I compare how I was to before, hoping I´m better. And I´m usually none the better, actually worse!


Boredom Increases Anxiety


My imagination runs away with itself. I focus on the symptoms, thinking ¨hmm, the tension in my shoulders has slightly gone, but now my tummy´s tighter.¨ Or I listen in on the grumbling noises of my stomach hoping this is a sign of tension leaving. This is soon met with despair as I then start to feel more anxious and tense.


What I haven´t realised, until very recently, is that this doesn´t help at all. I am becoming obsessed with how I feel. How can I expect to relax if I am doing this? How can any anxious person expect to relax if they are left alone to just themselves and there anxious symptoms and thoughts? Isn´t this why the night time can be so difficult for some of us. Our symptoms and ourselves become much more intimate without the distractions found in the day time.


The natural thing is for us to become frustrated. You may have been practising so well, it seems, facing accepting, floating and letting time pass, but these damn symptoms are still here, maybe even worse. And so, from such frustration you can´t help but fight. You become even more agitated and so feed the symptoms-adrenaline-symptoms cycle even more.
Dr Weekes herself even said that she had seen so many people on the verge of recovery lose so much progress, all because they started being idle. Maybe they had left work, or had become so concerned about over-stressing themselves that they were afraid of too much physical effort.


Occupation Brings Relaxation


But more relaxation is done for anxiety sufferers when we are occupied. It is in such moments, especially when we become interested in what we are doing, that we lose ourselves in the moment, we lose track of time. We get that wonderful, relaxing feeling where times stop still and we forget about our suffering, and are only focused on the thing we are doing. We forget that we even have anxiety, the symptoms and anxious thoughts.
Don´t you think this is so much better for relaxing your nervous system then sitting down or lying down and being conscious of every symptom we experience hoping for some improvement.


But don´t try to be busy in order to forget yourself. You cannot ignore your symptoms. They go with you wherever you go. Practise the method, face, accept, float and let time pass, while being occupied. The trick is to go slowly, gently, or quietly at your own pace. Accept however you feel, and continue doing whatever you´re doing!


Take It Easy


Weekes recommended not setting standards as this can just stress you out. Instead she said to be neutral, not expecting too much from yourself. Just doing as much as you can do, and being satisfied with that.


Isn´t this a much better attitude than putting yourself under unnecessary pressure. Remember the important thing is to be occupied, not how much you can get done. So just do something! Cleaning the dishes, tidying your room, going to visit a friend, whatever tickles your fancy.


What I recommend, is making a list of things which you enjoy doing. For example watching a movie, reading a book, listening to music, learning the guitar, drawing, painting… whatever! And, if need be, then plan out your day. If it´s a day that´s particularly free, then make a list of things to do that´s of interest to you which will keep you quietly busy! All this is so much better then being bored and concentrating on how you feel!


You´ll be giving your body and mind the rest it deserves. And this is where progress and recovery lies!


Best,


Jon

[Davit]

There is a study on the internet that says you can only have on average six thoughts going through your mind at once. Some people can handle more, some less but six is the number I use. I used this fact for my stacking technique in top tips. It also works to relax if you pick something you can do that involves six pleasant things. In this way there is no room for the unwanted thought because it is unrelated and gets dropped in favour of something related. Call it floating if you want but it is based on sound scientific fact. If you think on it you will find there is more going on in your head as you do something pleasant than you notice. Little related pleasant thought that add up to the six. Take gardening for me, I can think about the birds, the weather, people, what I'm doing, how good it feels and whether I'm going to want to water. More things sometimes, but six is usually it. The cat can visit and the six change to accommodate him but the mood doesn't change.

Every day I wake to a world of pain but just accept it is there. My thought is how can I work around it so I get something done, never is it, "I can't do this because it will hurt" but "how much can I get done before I hurts too much". But this is real pain, it is easier to deal with.

[swajj]

I have copies of Weekes' books. I found yhem very helpful but could never quite master the floating technique. I could do everything else eg accept, let time pass. I eventually gave up because not being able to float made me feel as though I was missing a major part of the formula for success.