vanIty
25-01-07, 22:28
hey every0ne,
im vanIty. well yea not really but i choose this username for a particular reason. having t0o high of a pride is my current problem. its to0 high that i end up hurting myself and the 0thers. well, i've searched and searched and finally found this forum which will hopefully welcome me and listen to my story. s0meday, im going to be a physciatrist. really, im a very depressed teenager. i know its comm0n but s0mtimes i find myself thinking that im alone in this. i have o.c.d. and im alm0st giving up. i can't control myself no matter what. but there's still a glimpse of hope.
honest to God, i never knew what depression was. not until the year of 2004 when we moved in Canada. since then, meeting new friends was great but somehow, with this new friends that i have, i experienced depression, jealousy, and lowered my self-esteem. i don't know. my thoughts are somewhat confuse. its a long story about the friendship that i have.
My family, i don't know where to start. I have the most God-fearing mother, most honest and concern father, a talented and obedient older brother and a cold hearted younger sister. im the clown in the house. and one look at me, nobody would thought that de3p inside im troubled. i don't cry in front of other people nor show them my true emotions. i call myself the great pretender. i had some problems with my parents and my brother when being scolded of doing this and that. that makes me a close minded person. i tend to curse them and grow grudge. im hateful. my sister, i don't know if i hate her or im just longing for her to respect me. she's more mature than i am that's for sure. but somehow, we don't get al0ng. som3times, i wanted to yell at her "have you got no heart?" its unexplainable.
all in all, i just wanted to heal emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. once, i asked God to give me all the possible physical injury just don't give me injuries that takes forever to heal.
im vanIty. well yea not really but i choose this username for a particular reason. having t0o high of a pride is my current problem. its to0 high that i end up hurting myself and the 0thers. well, i've searched and searched and finally found this forum which will hopefully welcome me and listen to my story. s0meday, im going to be a physciatrist. really, im a very depressed teenager. i know its comm0n but s0mtimes i find myself thinking that im alone in this. i have o.c.d. and im alm0st giving up. i can't control myself no matter what. but there's still a glimpse of hope.
honest to God, i never knew what depression was. not until the year of 2004 when we moved in Canada. since then, meeting new friends was great but somehow, with this new friends that i have, i experienced depression, jealousy, and lowered my self-esteem. i don't know. my thoughts are somewhat confuse. its a long story about the friendship that i have.
My family, i don't know where to start. I have the most God-fearing mother, most honest and concern father, a talented and obedient older brother and a cold hearted younger sister. im the clown in the house. and one look at me, nobody would thought that de3p inside im troubled. i don't cry in front of other people nor show them my true emotions. i call myself the great pretender. i had some problems with my parents and my brother when being scolded of doing this and that. that makes me a close minded person. i tend to curse them and grow grudge. im hateful. my sister, i don't know if i hate her or im just longing for her to respect me. she's more mature than i am that's for sure. but somehow, we don't get al0ng. som3times, i wanted to yell at her "have you got no heart?" its unexplainable.
all in all, i just wanted to heal emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. once, i asked God to give me all the possible physical injury just don't give me injuries that takes forever to heal.