work thoughts

[flowerpotty]

Work is driving me mad. I am very self conscious throughout at work worriwsd sick that I would say something stupid. I worry I mess up at work I struggle to not have some kind of thoughts that I am very incapable everything I do will causesomething bad to happen to the team, I will get told off or I lose my job. Or even colleagues dislike me because i am awkward.It gets worst when I get home as my thoughts go round and round until I cry. There are moments where I think I am fine but it isn't long until something debilitating thoughts come into my head. I am exhausted with the thoughts I need to rest but feel like my head cannot.sorry for rant.

[Needy21]

I'm sorry I can't give you anything that may be helpful just that you're not alone. I get that at work too, it's awful :(

[flowerpotty]

Thank you. It is comforting to know i am not alone. I had a bad day today i promised myself it will be a fresh start. I heard that a colleague said something very unkind about me. I spent hrs (even now with thoughts going overdrive) about how others perceive me. I already am paranoid about my ability and others perceptiom of me now it is worst as i feel like my negativity and paramoid is justified. i just want to cry. I dread going into work on weekdays i spend the weekends worrying about work. I hope tomorrow is a new day.

[flowerpotty]

Really struggled today. My thoughts spiral out of hand.
My boyfriex tells me to concentrate on life outside work but i really am struggling. Feel trapped. Why can't positive thinking be easiee?

[Rinzai]

Hi flowerpotty

I thought I'd reply to this since I feel the need to help someone on this site. It helps me too as I do understand your situation.

So many difficult changes happened to me this year that it got to the point where I ended up believing, very irrationally, that I will end up losing my job - despite the fact that I have worked for almost 13 years and have been a reliable worker.

It would trigger whether I am reminded of what I have lost and also if I encounter an angry costumer who threatens to tell my manager, leading me to think "No, please. Not my job too!!!" I end up seeing recurring pattern in my life that I believed 'fate' was playing me about.

But when I have a calm moment and stop to think, I begin to realise that my job fears are related to my fears of other losses. And when I question THOSE losses, I realise that 'fate' has nothing to do with it, but there were reasons beyond my control which weren't my fault that had led to my fears of losing the job I have.

The point of the experiences I share with you is to perhaps see if there are areas in your life that could be adding to the anxiety. One thing that is helping me cope with the awkward changes in my life is that I focus on the positive side of the changes.

As for the worry over how others perceive you, the other day one of my work colleages told me that someone said something nasty about me - I asked who said that - they told me the persons name and I said "Oh... no-one important then!"

I hope this helps :hugs:

[flowerpotty]

Hi Rinzai, thank you for sharing your experiences and advice with me.

I think as i have been let down before by my previous workplace and bad school experiences i am very paranoid with what i do.

Thank you for your advice i will fpcus on the positive side of things. This is silly, can you give me any advice on ppsitive thinking? i feel like my negativity is always trying to take over when i say something positive.

Thank you again

[Rinzai]

I think as i have been let down before by my previous workplace and bad school experiences i am very paranoid with what i do.

Past experiences can really bring a sense of familiarity and we can be sensitive to patterns that seem to recur too often that it truly tests our thoughts, which at times could render us numb to any future changes or problems. Paranoid thoughts are horrible to experience, but whatever you may have been through in life, just remember you are not alone and are always worthy of love and never without help and support of any kind. :hugs:


This is silly, can you give me any advice on ppsitive thinking?

Not silly at all :)
The important thing is that you know there is a problem and that you're determined to become more positive, which in itself is a positive step. In my experience, positive thinking isn't something you could force out in one go (I've tried and sometimes it would make the negative thoughts come back even stronger) so it is also important to be gentle with yourself. Only you know your own mind regarding this.

If you get a negative thought, maybe just find one small positive element about it to begin with and then bit by bit it might attract more positive elements and eventually any paranoid thoughts associated with it become less.

For example, the fear of loss which I endured this year which led to my moments of anxiety became less and less when I consider what my gains were. I feared losing a potential girlfriend to a friend of mine which raised not only irrational jealous thoughts but also bad thoughts of her hating me and leaving me altogether - BUT forgetting that all the more, I am winning her as 'a friend', which I'm becoming more accepting of (she's made it clear enough that she only sees me that way) and ironically that has made us more closer. It took a bit of time and I still get the negative thoughts, but they are becoming less.

So maybe when you have a negative thought, don't try too hard to completely counter it as that might send any unwanted defence mechanisms on haywire, but maybe find one positive element about it to begin with and hopefully that might attract more positive thoughts. Very much like the "Oh....no one important then" incident I gave above, all I did was to minimise what that person said into something less. It still annoys me, but I haven't allowed it bother me in any other way. If the negative thoughts come back, just say to yourself "This is normal and part of my healing", this way you can remind yourself that you do deserve to have a positive life and that you're working towards it. So even if you haven't countered the negative thoughts completely, if you managed to minimise it then that is still positive.

But here is a positive thought I will now give you:
As I am writing this, I've had a bit of a bad moment and replying to your post is making me feel better. So I thank you, flowerpotty, for this opportunity to improve myself another notch :bighug1:

Let us know how things are with you!