Struggling with anxiety

[blackberry]

Hi all,
I'm struggling with acute anxiety at the moment.
My mother died in January and I was there trying to revive her with my 15 year old daughter. Since then I have been having major panic attacks and anxiety. I have been demoted from my job and cannot be left on my own. My partner is not being very supportive as he feels if he has time off work with me then I will get used to it and when it's time for him to go back I won't let him.
I have seen the psychiatrist who has put me on 30mg Mirtazapine and 10mg of olanzapine at night. I am seeing the psychiatrist every 2 weeks.
I feel as if I'm being a burden on people that I have to stay with while my partner is at work. I'm on the sick at the moment but my boss' attitude is to snap out of it and it's all a figment of my imagination.
I have had anxiety on and off for over 15 years. I always get through it but it's never taken this long before (about 6 weeks) I need this to end.
Any advice will be gladly received.
Thanks in advance

[MetalYeti]

I'm afraid all I can offer you is understanding, I've always been a bit anxious and quite ocd but the severe-ruling-my-life anxiety came after my Dad died suddenly last summer. I am very lucky in that my boyfriend is super supportive which has helped no end, even though I often still feel like I'm being a burden when I can't cope with things. My work were very understanding at the time but like everywhere they expect you to take a week off and then be back to normal. I mean how is that possible?! Your entire world has just fallen apart! I had no choice but to go back really, it was that or not get paid which wasn't an option, so I just had to go and pretend I was ok. Sometimes I think this is what has made the anxiety so crippling because I have never had time to deal with what happened or mourn properly, and sometimes I think that it was for the best that I was forced to go back and that it would have been worse if I hadn't. I'm sorry that you're not getting the support you deserve and I'm afraid that I don't know what the answer is, but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone in this :hugs:

[Logan_Five]

Blackberry - have been where you are and whilst it does take time, you can and WILL get better. Need to allow a bit more time for the meds to kick in.

[blackberry]

Thank you both for your replies. I do appreciate it. And it helps knowing others have been in the same position

[Davit]

As Logan said, you have been there before and will be there again. A piece of advice since you asked for it, Be a bit more assertive and a whole lot more selfish, especially the selfish part. As the saying goes ..... them you are the one suffering and you are the one with rights. Trying to do what they want is not going to help you. As for the people you depend on, you can find a way to pay them back after. Take my word for it you will get better faster this way. If you can't do that you are going to have to give me a good reason, I've been there, you can do it. (assertive is in every CBT program) Take your pills and take care of you, no one else seems to be doing that for you. (as my Granny would say, this is tough love)