Shadowwin
26-01-07, 14:37
I have to start by saying today.. I hate anxiety disorder.. and I hate agoraphobia..
Back in August I found a lovely job doing customer service in a safe building with lots of security and better yet my safe person could work there too! He helped me to work everyday.. we rode the bus together.. we worked the same shifts.. got drafted for holidays together.. everything was wonderful.. at anytime I could get up look across the call center and tada there he was.. it was never us being in the same project or on the same team.. it was the fact he was there in the building and knew my medical history and what needed to be done if I need help.. Life was wonderful.. I felt irly confident about things.. that was till yesterday..
There has been a draft going on at work for a new client.. I myself am untouchable because I worked myself up to one of the companies licensed insurance representatives back in October with my safe persons help I have really begun to flourish and enjoy my job.. Last night one of the managers walked by his desk and said you.. your drafted for the 8am-4:30 pm shift and walked off with out my safe person being able to say boo. I work 2:3-11..
I instantly broke when the news came to me over the company IM service from a good friend who is a supervisor.. I took one last call logged out for lunch and bolted off the call center floor and exploded in a fit of tears in the restroom.. Mind you my safe person is also my fiancee whom I live with so not only is work life implicated so is home life.. he has to leave for work at 6am on the bus now.. and I have to leave at 1:30 pm.. So of course my head is in a whirl over this as well..
Well up till now I've kept it very quiet about my condition as of last night by the time I left everyone knew about the girl with agoraphobia who couldnt function without her safe person.. I had cleaned up after my crying fit in the bathroom and went searching for him.. only to run into a friend and team member at the door to the call floor who saw my eyes were all red. and asked what was wrong.. just the compassion in her voice set me off and I spilled it the entire story in one teary mess with about 200+ people on the call floor.. soon other members of my team were involved they got my boss.. it was a person like all of us here's nightmare.. all those people asking me if I was alright if they could help.. it made me the center of attention and it made me squirm..
So now today I woke up early and phoned the doctor for a statement about my condition to present my employer.. I did some net searching put together a document on panic disorder and agoraphobia to present with the letter to our Human Resources Department this afternoon.. the doctor's office is faxing the letter over when I arrive at work.. but I am terrified.. absolutely terrifed of having to talk to them about this because I'm know I'm going to cry and I know I'm going to be an emotional wreck.. plus I'm afraid of them firing both of us because it is too much hassel... *Sighs softly*
I hate panic disorder and anxiety attacks..
Back in August I found a lovely job doing customer service in a safe building with lots of security and better yet my safe person could work there too! He helped me to work everyday.. we rode the bus together.. we worked the same shifts.. got drafted for holidays together.. everything was wonderful.. at anytime I could get up look across the call center and tada there he was.. it was never us being in the same project or on the same team.. it was the fact he was there in the building and knew my medical history and what needed to be done if I need help.. Life was wonderful.. I felt irly confident about things.. that was till yesterday..
There has been a draft going on at work for a new client.. I myself am untouchable because I worked myself up to one of the companies licensed insurance representatives back in October with my safe persons help I have really begun to flourish and enjoy my job.. Last night one of the managers walked by his desk and said you.. your drafted for the 8am-4:30 pm shift and walked off with out my safe person being able to say boo. I work 2:3-11..
I instantly broke when the news came to me over the company IM service from a good friend who is a supervisor.. I took one last call logged out for lunch and bolted off the call center floor and exploded in a fit of tears in the restroom.. Mind you my safe person is also my fiancee whom I live with so not only is work life implicated so is home life.. he has to leave for work at 6am on the bus now.. and I have to leave at 1:30 pm.. So of course my head is in a whirl over this as well..
Well up till now I've kept it very quiet about my condition as of last night by the time I left everyone knew about the girl with agoraphobia who couldnt function without her safe person.. I had cleaned up after my crying fit in the bathroom and went searching for him.. only to run into a friend and team member at the door to the call floor who saw my eyes were all red. and asked what was wrong.. just the compassion in her voice set me off and I spilled it the entire story in one teary mess with about 200+ people on the call floor.. soon other members of my team were involved they got my boss.. it was a person like all of us here's nightmare.. all those people asking me if I was alright if they could help.. it made me the center of attention and it made me squirm..
So now today I woke up early and phoned the doctor for a statement about my condition to present my employer.. I did some net searching put together a document on panic disorder and agoraphobia to present with the letter to our Human Resources Department this afternoon.. the doctor's office is faxing the letter over when I arrive at work.. but I am terrified.. absolutely terrifed of having to talk to them about this because I'm know I'm going to cry and I know I'm going to be an emotional wreck.. plus I'm afraid of them firing both of us because it is too much hassel... *Sighs softly*
I hate panic disorder and anxiety attacks..