Jolt509
22-05-15, 14:22
Hi everyone, I've found some nice threads on here a few times about stuff I experience often involving anxiety, it's helped a bit in feeling more comfortable. So I thought I'd post something here to try and get more personal reassurance for my issues and what not.
I've kind of always had anxiety issues to some degree, but it never became a huge problem/barrier in my life until three years ago. After having a massive panic attack after smoking medical-grade marijuana for the first time, I've never been the same. It's gotten quite better as time has gone on, but it's still difficult. My anxiety seems to shift from eyes, ears, and heart. Every few months I'll end up worrying about one or the other. Currently it's my eyes, and it's worse than it has ever really been (which has cued me to get a doctors appointment - it's on the 21st of next month, so a good bit away yet).
The past month I've been seeing lots of afterimage and peripheral hallucinations. It's the same deal with starting to notice noticing that "Blue field entoptic phenomenon" pretty much constantly now when I look at the sky (and sometimes see it when I'm simply outside after looking at the sky...). I'll once in a while see a random 'oval' shaped spot burn into my frontal vision randomly and fade away in a couple seconds, it's rather small, so it's not blinding me or anything (not sure what the hell it is, and it's weird).
The peripheral hallucination thing has been around with me ever since I had that huge panic attack. In fact the days proceeding the attack I was thinking I was seeing rats/insects/shadows in my peripheral vision a lot. I would sometimes have to put a dark pillow or sheet over some spots that I'd see in my room. It's WAY better now, but still freaks me out a bit, is distracting, and quite frankly annoying as hell after a while. It doesn't happen all the time, and seems to really only do so when my mind even partially thinks about it (i'm seeing them now in fact - but it's not annoying at the current moment). I'm almost 100% certain that this specifically is just my generalized anxiety messing with me (also, apparently depression issues according to my therapist I used to visit).
The afterimage however, seems to happen irregardless, but again, not something that happens all the time. It seems to happen much more when I'm really tired and/or thinking about it a good bit. Right now, as I'm staring at my monitor typing this and look away on a darker platform somewhere else, I can see fuzzy/blurred lines that resembles stripes (the text) and don't go away for a good 45s-1m. Even when I wake up and look at something even with a mild contrast and edge, it will burn and fade into my vision for a few seconds, and when I wake up I'm not even thinking about my anxiety at all, it's very comforting... This makes me believe though, this specifically isn't entirely anxiety and is something else (I don't know - just what I think).
I also see some visual snow at night, I guess this is worth mentioning. This doesn't really bother me much though, and I've grown up believing it is normal (and as far as I know other people have it just to a lesser or greater degree - so I think nothing of it).
As for my ears, I feel I have some form of Tinnitus in my left ear, and I think this might relate to the visual snow.
I also haven't had a blood test done in quite some time (probably 8+ years at this point - not sure). I have some hypertension issues in most males of my mothers family, and have read in some cases untreated high blood pressure can cause a slew of weird things.
I'll also mention, I don't really go outside that often (mostly stay inside all day - somedays don't even go out at all) and sit in front of my computer for 10+ hours each day. I have the brightness turned to 0% and have been using a program called f.lux for about 1.2 years at this point. Just thought I'd add this since this probably relates to my weird vision issues in some form.
Thanks for anyone that takes the time to help me.
I've kind of always had anxiety issues to some degree, but it never became a huge problem/barrier in my life until three years ago. After having a massive panic attack after smoking medical-grade marijuana for the first time, I've never been the same. It's gotten quite better as time has gone on, but it's still difficult. My anxiety seems to shift from eyes, ears, and heart. Every few months I'll end up worrying about one or the other. Currently it's my eyes, and it's worse than it has ever really been (which has cued me to get a doctors appointment - it's on the 21st of next month, so a good bit away yet).
The past month I've been seeing lots of afterimage and peripheral hallucinations. It's the same deal with starting to notice noticing that "Blue field entoptic phenomenon" pretty much constantly now when I look at the sky (and sometimes see it when I'm simply outside after looking at the sky...). I'll once in a while see a random 'oval' shaped spot burn into my frontal vision randomly and fade away in a couple seconds, it's rather small, so it's not blinding me or anything (not sure what the hell it is, and it's weird).
The peripheral hallucination thing has been around with me ever since I had that huge panic attack. In fact the days proceeding the attack I was thinking I was seeing rats/insects/shadows in my peripheral vision a lot. I would sometimes have to put a dark pillow or sheet over some spots that I'd see in my room. It's WAY better now, but still freaks me out a bit, is distracting, and quite frankly annoying as hell after a while. It doesn't happen all the time, and seems to really only do so when my mind even partially thinks about it (i'm seeing them now in fact - but it's not annoying at the current moment). I'm almost 100% certain that this specifically is just my generalized anxiety messing with me (also, apparently depression issues according to my therapist I used to visit).
The afterimage however, seems to happen irregardless, but again, not something that happens all the time. It seems to happen much more when I'm really tired and/or thinking about it a good bit. Right now, as I'm staring at my monitor typing this and look away on a darker platform somewhere else, I can see fuzzy/blurred lines that resembles stripes (the text) and don't go away for a good 45s-1m. Even when I wake up and look at something even with a mild contrast and edge, it will burn and fade into my vision for a few seconds, and when I wake up I'm not even thinking about my anxiety at all, it's very comforting... This makes me believe though, this specifically isn't entirely anxiety and is something else (I don't know - just what I think).
I also see some visual snow at night, I guess this is worth mentioning. This doesn't really bother me much though, and I've grown up believing it is normal (and as far as I know other people have it just to a lesser or greater degree - so I think nothing of it).
As for my ears, I feel I have some form of Tinnitus in my left ear, and I think this might relate to the visual snow.
I also haven't had a blood test done in quite some time (probably 8+ years at this point - not sure). I have some hypertension issues in most males of my mothers family, and have read in some cases untreated high blood pressure can cause a slew of weird things.
I'll also mention, I don't really go outside that often (mostly stay inside all day - somedays don't even go out at all) and sit in front of my computer for 10+ hours each day. I have the brightness turned to 0% and have been using a program called f.lux for about 1.2 years at this point. Just thought I'd add this since this probably relates to my weird vision issues in some form.
Thanks for anyone that takes the time to help me.