Breast cancer fear

[1worrywart]

Hi,

I am new here and so glad that I found this site. I have my annual mammogram in one week and I have convinced myself that I have breast cancer and that this will be the time they find it because I have dense breast and I am having a 3D mammogram.

It seems like breast cancer stories are everywhere - everywhere I look I see it and hear about it and I think it is a sign - trying to prepare me for the inevitable. I found out a year ago that my aunt had breast cancer at 63 ( lumpectomy and hormone treatment - she said it was no big deal) and my grandma had a bit removed at 90. She is still alive at 94! I would have no idea if my mom had it she hasn't had a mammo in 30+ years and is 73.

I google non-stop - it is interrupting my work and all I do while I am at home. I did this last year too…. the anxiety is too much. The lady I work with at work was diagnosed at my age so it is a daily reminder. Plus the lady across the hall at work had it recently . It's like it is everywhere. I know I only have a 2.5% chance of being diagnosed but I focus on that instead of the 97% chance I won't get it because it seems like it is everywhere. Every time I turn on the tv there is a new celebrity with it or news anchor or something. Its like I can't get away from it.

I asked my dh to go with me to the appt. Then he is going out of town and I want to tell him not to because I am convinced it will be bad news. I have already figured out what I would do treatment wise, how I will tell my kids, planned my funeral. It is AWFUL!

And even if I get an "all clear" I won't believe it because there is so much in the news right now about mammas missing cancer in women with dense breast. UGH

Does anyone else do this?

Thank you!

[feelthelove]

I turned 50 last September and a few weeks before my birthday i got a letter through for a mammagram i ignored it and i got another one then i went to the doctors for something and they asked me why i didn't make an appointment , i told them i don't to want to have one done .

My reasons are because i feel they just cause anxiety and that if i feel there is something wrong i would go and see my doctor. I'm not going to cause myself unecessary anxiety if all is well why put myself through it .

I already suffered years from having smear tests as i had pre cancerous cells when i was 25 years and had two operations on my cervix . I fell pregnant with my second son during the first operation and i was advised to leave the treatment until after my baby was born , it caused a really long delivery of 3 days and distress to my son , because the cervix was toughened by the operation and he was stuck in the birth canal so i had to have my cervix manually opened for him to be born and he suffered lack of oxygen and was blue , but thank God he was healthy and no other problems . So i don't rock the boat now . I spoke to my GP about my reasons for not wanting a mammagram and she said no problem as it is only an inivitiation not something i must have .

[Frankie123]

The thing about the mammogram system is that it detects cancer before it has become big and therefore less easy to cure. I know two people whose cancers were picked up at mammogram and they both had very minor ops to remove the bit involved and they are fine now. One of them was told it would have been years before she felt it and then it might have been too late.
It is entirely up to you whether you have the mammogram but they do save lives.

[1worrywart]

I will certainly go and have it - I have just convinced myself that the results are going to be bad - I focus on the 3% chance I will have it instead of the 97% chance I won't. It just seems to be everywhere I turn so I figure how can I NOT get it. Ugh I spent ALL morning googling and feeling for lumps… It was awful. I am so scared… I just keep looking at my kids thinking how will I tell them and what will my life be like and I don't even have a diagnosis…. yet… ugh see there I go again!