feeling low

[kim!!]

Hi everyone I know I have put this before but feeling really low! I really really really hate myself an I don't know why? Feel like driving to humber bridge an jumping off it! I don't belong in this life anymore I'm a horrible person my partner an kids deserve a lot better then me :weep:

[feelthelove]

Don't jump off the Humber bridge we are goin to walk over it today :)

in all seriousness i get low too and feel just like you're feeling , you just need to think of the good things you have in life and do something that's fun to lift your mood x

[kim!!]

Honestly I don't think anything can get me out of this mood! Don't even no if it is a mood? Iv made my mind up I think this is the best way at least I won't be able to hurt the people I love anymore? X

[Crystalhiggs]

Kim please go and get some help you don't need to feel like this. Go to the hospital or ring the Samaritans or something but please stop for a few minutes and breathe deeply, try to think about what you can do to help yourself before this takes you any further down. Your children need their mummy.

Please keep us posted throughout the day, we are all here for you xx

---------- Post added at 10:49 ---------- Previous post was at 09:49 ----------

How are you now Kim?

[kim!!]

Hi I'm just the same just had enough of this life kids will be better off without me I'm just sick of feeling like this, there's no point going to hospital they don't do anything iv been before x

[Crystalhiggs]

Oh hun I'm sorry you still feel bad. Do you have a psychiatrist or access to emergency mental health? There must be someone that can help you even if it's just to sedate you for a bit so you're more relaxed for a while. It sounds truly awful and I really feel for you, but there is always a way back. Is your partner supportive? Do you have family close by? Hang on in there girl it will get better!!! Xx

[kim!!]

There is a crisis team iv rang them they told me to try an cope with it because it will pass!
My partner is supportive but doesn't understand really! My family just tell me to pull myself together.
I'm really not liking myself at the minute iv done some stupid stuff an I can't change it!

[Crystalhiggs]

You can't change what's done Kim but you can have a better future. It's hard when people don't understand but surprised the crisis team have just said try and cope. Really hope you pick up soon keep on posting to let us know how you're feeling and don't ever feel alone because you're not, we're all on here for a reason! Take care Xx

[kim!!]

Thankyou I feel abit better, your right can't change what's already been done!
I need to stop feeling sorry for myself an start to have a life! I'm going to concentrate on my family ��

[Crystalhiggs]

That's lovely to hear, sending you big (((hugs))) x

[agoraphobicstudent]

Hi Kim,
You mention that you don't like yourself, and regret things that you've done, so perhaps alongside concentrating on loving those that live you, also concentrate on loving yourself.

Perhaps try writing down your feelings in the form of letters- apologies or rants and then safely destroy these letters? Or try giving yourself a bit of a make over- sometimes just dyeing my hair and painting my nails makes me feel better about myself.

I would also explore any help your doctors can give you- though I know it's difficult.
I would also suggest keeping a mood diary. My depression ebbs and flows, and keeping a note in your diary helps track and assess what's triggering you. I hope things get better for you :)

[CookieCat]

Please don't do anything drastic! You're partner and kids need you and love you, you are very very important to them. I know how hard it is, I have had suicidal thoughts and been really really low and couldn't see what I had in my life. all I could see was pain.

You have a family, you created that family, you deserve to go on and enjoy your life with your kids and partner.

Things might seem bad just now but you will get through it, stay strong and you are strong....you went through pregnancy/childbirth lol.

when you feel low, come on here and just vent, things will get better soon :bighug1:

[kim!!]

Hi thankyou for your post I'm feeling a lot better today!
Im going to give myself a make over lol
I can't change things so what's the point in worrying about it?
I would rather go through child birth a thousand times lol then feel like I did yesterday?

[fruity]

I,ve been where you are. I felt weak,low,no good for nothing. I didn,t want my kids because I felt I could not love them. heartbreaking realy. go explain all this to your doctor or someone you trust. talk talk talk. and keep telling yourself positive things

[kim!!]

Hi yes that's how I feel like I don't deserve to be loved, I felt fine before but now feel worse then ever

[kim!!]

Sorry to keep going on butnim really not coping iv got no one to talk to at home feel so alone, iv got no one to ring that's how sad my life is iv got no real friends I just can't go on like this its to much to cope with :scared15:

[Dazza123]

Maybe you could look into ways of making some new real friends in the real world Kim? Im sure that will give you a boost, better than wasting your days away on an internet forum :)

[kim!!]

I have friends but just not ones that will sit down an listen to me they just think I'm mental, obviously they have there own lives to deal with :)

[agoraphobicstudent]

Hi Kim,
It seems like your mood is all over the place, and that's understandable.
I understand what it's like to have no one to talk to about these issues; I have actually lost friends due to my issues.
I think the best thing to do is try to distract yourself when thoughts like these occur- look on Pinterest at hair styles you could get, do some cleaning, leave the kids with their dad and go to a cafe.

It seems like you are overwhelmed and unhappy, is your partner helping you? Are there any family members that you could ask for help from whilst you are struggling? Now is the time to work out what is a struggle everyday, and who you can ask for help from. And call your doctor tomorrow morning :)

[xvolatileheart]

Kim, there must be a mental health support group in your area? You can make friends through that who will listen and understand.

Your family loves and needs you! It's the depression distorting your thoughts and telling you you're bad. You are not bad. You are important and deserve a happy life. You will get through this!

I know you have had an awful time with your mental health team, but please don't let that stop you from getting better. It takes time, but you will get there. Big hugs xxx

[kim!!]

Hi I'm feeling ok ish now it seems like when it comes on it takes over me I can't control an the thoughts I have is awful of course I don't want to hurt myself an leave the kids without there mother I know what that does to u it happend to me!
My partner is OK he just doesn't understand when I talk to him about it I might aswel talk to the wall lol, when this anxiety an depression comes on I think I don't even love him anymore then I start freaking out because I wouldn't cope on my own!
I know this can't be easy on him either?
I have a mental health nurse but were not really clicking if u no wot I mean she doesn't really listen to me she just gives me the information an sends me on my way iv asked to change nurses but nothing has been done x

[LauraWoo84]

Kim I know exactly how you feel. I've had really dark, negative thoughts to the point of suicide they are getting so bad I have had to tell someone.

The anxiety I feel is crippling, my 7 year relationship is over and I'm about to become homeless all because of my stupid messed up mind that likes to ruin everything as I too don't deserve to be happy or lived

[kim!!]

Aww no I'm really sorry to hear that, can u not stay with your family? Having this stupid illness is awful, our mind is a powerful thing! Hope your going to be OK! If u needvto talk u can pm me if u want x

[agoraphobicstudent]

Hi Kim,

I do think in relationships that we have to be clear about what we need, or there is no point. Can you think of anything that he could do to make your life easier? Or family members? Perhaps helping out with housework, or granny taking the kids so you can be romanced by your husband? Perhaps ask him to do that- or tell him you are unhappy and ask that he make you feel loved?
I've experienced the confusion of when you are depressed, and feel you have fallen out of love. It can be the depression talking, and dulling your feelings, or it could be genuine feelings- but either way don't panic because you don't have to tell him how you feel or make any decision yet. I hope things are easier today :)

[kim!!]

Hi we have been together 10 years got too kids he hasn't taken me out once like just me an him he moans about money all the time he's really nice but I just don't know if its what I want anymore! If I leave I won't have anything nowhere to live because the house is his were are me an the kids suppose to go? I don't want to hurt him I just don't know what to do anymore :shrug: