asus15
24-05-15, 16:20
Hello all
I never thought I would be posting this and to be honest I have gone for and against the idea of posting it several times but as I feel it may benefit others I am going to shout to the world that...
I am making positive progress! :yesyes:
I've had anxiety and panic issues since I was 9 years old and I am now 28 years old!
2 weeks ago I was in one of my darkest spots I've ever been in I was suffering from a split from my ex GF which was causing me untold amounts of stress and due to this I was abusing Diazepam (Valium) to quite an intense degree and also self-harming daily. I also put up bed covers in my bedroom window so sun light could not come in. For reasons I still do not understand I wanted darkness 24/7 in here.
If that wasn't enough my father had been promising me to let me stay with him at his 3 bedroom house where he lives alone out in the countryside which would do me the world of good as I grew up there and felt secure there and far less anxious. I don't like where I live and never have done.
He had been promising this since last year and I eventually just got so desperate to get away that I showed him medical letters about my problems (which I previously hid from him as I didn't want to upset him) and things that had been going on... he said he would think about it. 2 weeks later I asked he said he would call me, asked again about 4 days later said he would ring me that night, never happened. This happened about 3 more times until I could not take any more so I just packed my bags and went to his. Long story about what happened there but ultimately he wasn't happy and got angry so I just thought screw this then and left. Went back up the road from his and absolutely broke down, tears... self-harm, the lot. I had nothing else to do or fall back on as far as a plan goes. I felt totally, 100% helpless. Eventually I pulled myself together returned to my home which was so hard to do but needs must.
After I did this I spent days simply sat on my bed with my laptop on with an anxiety chat room on it, a self-help book by Dr Claire Weekes and as silly as it may sound, a bible. I also had a knife and diazepam. I spent days in the dark overdosing, self-harming, and never looking at the self-help book or bible.
Now, with that negative crap out of the way. After doing this for so long I decided this could not go on. I had to stop! I realised the only person I had to count on was me and that I, me, myself and I HAD TO MAKE THE CHANGE. No one was going to do this for me. I had to make change and at least give it a chance.
Now - We've all heard it I'm sure, "exercise helps anxiety" "drink only water no coke or caffeine based stuff" "eat clean" the list goes on... I was one of the many people HIGHLY sceptical about this and over my 19 years of suffering from anxiety I have NEVER tried it… just said “ah that will not work…”
Well I'm here to tell you... IT WORKS!!!
Since that dark period. I took it upon myself to get referred by the Dr I've decided to come off my anti depressant (Citaropram) and he also been referred to a local gym. I am 17 stone 11 as of last Tuesday so I am technically obese. I called the gym expecting I could just go in right away and start working out. They said I needed an induction though which would be on the 28th of this month... I was rather gutted and felt like I had tried and already was getting kicked back but then I was like ok fine can't be helped. But with the set back as I saw it… you know what I did? I made my OWN GYM! Why wait? I went running, jogging, walking and even swimming by myself!
I was totally out of shape and felt SO silly running first of all but you get over it so fast. The self-conscious feeling you get goes fairly quickly and you learn to enjoy it! All you have to do is think no matter what people think (or in our cases what we "think" people are thinking) YOU ARE DOING A POSITIVE THING! Say you are 20 stone, 25 stone, 15 stone whatever… DO NOT FEEL SILLY ABOUT IT! YOU ARE TAKING ACTION! Nothing embarrassing about that and you should be proud if you do it! Go running, riding, swimming, whatever you want with pride! I KNOW it is hard for us BUT I can tell you I FEEL GREAT since starting it!
I have also made changes to my diet. I drink exclusively co op mineral water (5 litres for £1.17, clean pure spring water) No coke, no tap water, coffee, nothing! Just CLEAN, PURE water. I used to eat nothing all day but just one huge pizza later that day, everyday... now I have a sensible healthy breakfast, lunch and tea/dinner. Again, as a result of this I FEEL GREAT!
What you eat REALLY DOES affect your mind.
On top of this I've also starting learning to drive which has always been a huge hurdle for me over the years.
Best news of all though... With all the work I've put in I'm losing weight! I was going to weigh myself every Tuesday and keep a note of each week but as I could FEEL the improvements I cheated and had a look today (Saturday).
Since Tuesday I've gone from 17 stone 11 I am now down to 17 stone 4!!! This feels GREAT! So rewarding and even that little bit of weight I can FEEL the difference.
Guys, Girls, Where ever you are. However dark your situation please trust me that you can take action and things CAN get better!
Another thing I've noticed which will be most important to most… After all this exercise my heart doesn't palp, doesn't go crazy fast randomly. The anxiety is SO MUCH LOWER since working it out of my system.
PLEASE, If you are medically able… TRY IT!
I have already mentioned this to another member on here who I'm fairly close to who will remain nameless for privacy reasons (he may post if he wants to) and he said its doing him a lot of good too!
I’d love to hear your feedback on my success. I shall leave you with some lovely images of my walks/runs/jogs over the past week!
http://s11.postimg.org/c85w5gasj/Recoverd_jpg_file_3.jpg
http://s11.postimg.org/icxeis2w3/Recoverd_jpg_file_2.jpg
http://s11.postimg.org/xtayt27j7/Recoverd_jpg_file_4.jpg
http://s11.postimg.org/3r6duj63n/Recoverd_jpg_file_6.jpg
http://s11.postimg.org/hm4od00ir/Recoverd_jpg_file_7.jpg
http://s15.postimg.org/vvw9vrxvf/Recoverd_jpg_file_3.jpg
http://s15.postimg.org/4nzfofnzv/Recoverd_jpg_file_4.jpg
http://s15.postimg.org/dka7sdem3/Recoverd_jpg_file_6.jpg
I never thought I would be posting this and to be honest I have gone for and against the idea of posting it several times but as I feel it may benefit others I am going to shout to the world that...
I am making positive progress! :yesyes:
I've had anxiety and panic issues since I was 9 years old and I am now 28 years old!
2 weeks ago I was in one of my darkest spots I've ever been in I was suffering from a split from my ex GF which was causing me untold amounts of stress and due to this I was abusing Diazepam (Valium) to quite an intense degree and also self-harming daily. I also put up bed covers in my bedroom window so sun light could not come in. For reasons I still do not understand I wanted darkness 24/7 in here.
If that wasn't enough my father had been promising me to let me stay with him at his 3 bedroom house where he lives alone out in the countryside which would do me the world of good as I grew up there and felt secure there and far less anxious. I don't like where I live and never have done.
He had been promising this since last year and I eventually just got so desperate to get away that I showed him medical letters about my problems (which I previously hid from him as I didn't want to upset him) and things that had been going on... he said he would think about it. 2 weeks later I asked he said he would call me, asked again about 4 days later said he would ring me that night, never happened. This happened about 3 more times until I could not take any more so I just packed my bags and went to his. Long story about what happened there but ultimately he wasn't happy and got angry so I just thought screw this then and left. Went back up the road from his and absolutely broke down, tears... self-harm, the lot. I had nothing else to do or fall back on as far as a plan goes. I felt totally, 100% helpless. Eventually I pulled myself together returned to my home which was so hard to do but needs must.
After I did this I spent days simply sat on my bed with my laptop on with an anxiety chat room on it, a self-help book by Dr Claire Weekes and as silly as it may sound, a bible. I also had a knife and diazepam. I spent days in the dark overdosing, self-harming, and never looking at the self-help book or bible.
Now, with that negative crap out of the way. After doing this for so long I decided this could not go on. I had to stop! I realised the only person I had to count on was me and that I, me, myself and I HAD TO MAKE THE CHANGE. No one was going to do this for me. I had to make change and at least give it a chance.
Now - We've all heard it I'm sure, "exercise helps anxiety" "drink only water no coke or caffeine based stuff" "eat clean" the list goes on... I was one of the many people HIGHLY sceptical about this and over my 19 years of suffering from anxiety I have NEVER tried it… just said “ah that will not work…”
Well I'm here to tell you... IT WORKS!!!
Since that dark period. I took it upon myself to get referred by the Dr I've decided to come off my anti depressant (Citaropram) and he also been referred to a local gym. I am 17 stone 11 as of last Tuesday so I am technically obese. I called the gym expecting I could just go in right away and start working out. They said I needed an induction though which would be on the 28th of this month... I was rather gutted and felt like I had tried and already was getting kicked back but then I was like ok fine can't be helped. But with the set back as I saw it… you know what I did? I made my OWN GYM! Why wait? I went running, jogging, walking and even swimming by myself!
I was totally out of shape and felt SO silly running first of all but you get over it so fast. The self-conscious feeling you get goes fairly quickly and you learn to enjoy it! All you have to do is think no matter what people think (or in our cases what we "think" people are thinking) YOU ARE DOING A POSITIVE THING! Say you are 20 stone, 25 stone, 15 stone whatever… DO NOT FEEL SILLY ABOUT IT! YOU ARE TAKING ACTION! Nothing embarrassing about that and you should be proud if you do it! Go running, riding, swimming, whatever you want with pride! I KNOW it is hard for us BUT I can tell you I FEEL GREAT since starting it!
I have also made changes to my diet. I drink exclusively co op mineral water (5 litres for £1.17, clean pure spring water) No coke, no tap water, coffee, nothing! Just CLEAN, PURE water. I used to eat nothing all day but just one huge pizza later that day, everyday... now I have a sensible healthy breakfast, lunch and tea/dinner. Again, as a result of this I FEEL GREAT!
What you eat REALLY DOES affect your mind.
On top of this I've also starting learning to drive which has always been a huge hurdle for me over the years.
Best news of all though... With all the work I've put in I'm losing weight! I was going to weigh myself every Tuesday and keep a note of each week but as I could FEEL the improvements I cheated and had a look today (Saturday).
Since Tuesday I've gone from 17 stone 11 I am now down to 17 stone 4!!! This feels GREAT! So rewarding and even that little bit of weight I can FEEL the difference.
Guys, Girls, Where ever you are. However dark your situation please trust me that you can take action and things CAN get better!
Another thing I've noticed which will be most important to most… After all this exercise my heart doesn't palp, doesn't go crazy fast randomly. The anxiety is SO MUCH LOWER since working it out of my system.
PLEASE, If you are medically able… TRY IT!
I have already mentioned this to another member on here who I'm fairly close to who will remain nameless for privacy reasons (he may post if he wants to) and he said its doing him a lot of good too!
I’d love to hear your feedback on my success. I shall leave you with some lovely images of my walks/runs/jogs over the past week!
http://s11.postimg.org/c85w5gasj/Recoverd_jpg_file_3.jpg
http://s11.postimg.org/icxeis2w3/Recoverd_jpg_file_2.jpg
http://s11.postimg.org/xtayt27j7/Recoverd_jpg_file_4.jpg
http://s11.postimg.org/3r6duj63n/Recoverd_jpg_file_6.jpg
http://s11.postimg.org/hm4od00ir/Recoverd_jpg_file_7.jpg
http://s15.postimg.org/vvw9vrxvf/Recoverd_jpg_file_3.jpg
http://s15.postimg.org/4nzfofnzv/Recoverd_jpg_file_4.jpg
http://s15.postimg.org/dka7sdem3/Recoverd_jpg_file_6.jpg