Driving Anxiety

[louise0501]

Hello everyone. Something i have suffered with for quite sometime is driving anxiety especially when i have passengers as i worry they are watching what im doing and my boyfriend has been a really bad back seat driver so i have just lost all my confidence.

when im driving he just make comments about my driving and trys to control my driving. I have spoken to him about it but he just denies it and says im being stupid but then he complains when i wont do any long distant driving and makes me feel bad about making him drive most of the time.

i also get annoyed as my bf got banned for 2 years for drink driving before he met me and his dad has also got banned for drink driving and now his sister has just got caught drink driving. I feel im a safe and competent driver but confidence is letting me down or is my bf right and im just not a very good driver.

The thing is he still drink drives now and so does his dad so they never learn and his sister has drink drove in the past but finally got caught a few weeks ago as she caused an accident but she said the copper that came to the scene was a mate of hers and he drove her out to let her sober up for a few hours before taking her to station and she was only a bit over limit so not really teaching her a lesson is it? It just annoys me that they all try to make me feel bad about driving and knock my confidence.

Sorry for waffling on but just needed to get it off my chest. Any advice?

Please Reply
Love Louise xxxxxxxxxx

[Fishmanpa]

Lets see.... your bf had his license taken away for drinking and driving and he still does it. He's not a good driver on top of it and does nothing but berate you and the way you drive. That sounds like bad news to me and totally irresponsible and careless. Maybe it's time you put some thought into whether you want to really be with him.

Positive thoughts

[nicola1980]

I would have a serious talk to him, innocent people get killed from the irresponsible people that seem to think it's ok to drink and drive, it's totally not acceptable at all and if he was my husband then I def wouldn't be condoning it all I think I would actually be considering whether I want to spend my life with a person like that and I def would never get in a car with him ever.

[sial72]

As all the others have said, take no notice of what your boyfriend has said because obviously you are driving properly and he is not.
And also have a little think about somebody who puts you down and drink drives...is he really worthwhile?
I also think it should be classified as manslaughter if someone gets killed.

[.Poppy.]

Have to echo the others - don't listen to your boyfriend, he sounds like a jerk.

I used to be the same way: driving made me nervous, and passengers made me nervous on top of that. Not only for skill, but because I'd take different streets and get a lot of "why are you going the long way?" comments (mainly because we had a new roundabout installed in our town and I'd go all the way around it so I wouldn't have to go through it).

Ultimately, what helped is practice. If you're really anxious, try starting with roads in the country that have less traffic, then a small town, then a larger town, etc. Work your way up. Once you do it enough, your self-confidence will grow and it will be easier to have other passengers in your car.

Another thing is, when you're in the car with other people driving, take notice of their "faults" (just don't point them out!). It helped me to realize that everyone makes mistakes driving -- my "perfect driver" brother sometimes sways towards the side of the road when he's not paying attention, some of my friends take longer routes as well, my mother cannot back up to save her life, etc. Even my friend who everyone claimed was the best driver out of all of us blew through a stop sign and totaled her car. It takes some of the pressure off of me to realize that no one is really a perfect driver.

[csimms]

My boyfriend was banned twice for drink-driving, always asks to drive my car and constantly criticises my driving.
He took my keys one day to 'get a bag out of the car'. I walked out 5 minutes later and he had reversed into someone (completely sober)
Since then he has not commented once on my driving, but I still find him being in the car makes me anxious. He is a bit of a wind up merchant!

[jimsmrs]

Keep him out of your car!!!!!! I think the offence is called Death by dangerous driving, or Driving under the influence. I do know the penalty isn't harsh enough, lets not forget that in the wrong hands, ie a drunk, a drug addict, a young or old inexperienced driver, even someone with anxiety or depression, a car is a dangerous weapon. When I'm not feeling my best I don't drive.

[HaroldMorse]

You should not listen to him, he is not as good in driving as you are.
Drinking an driving is very dangerous, if you feel driving anxiety due to his comments. Go for some distance alone and build your confidence.