View Full Version : feeling depressed and anxious
I haven't posted for a while and I have been doing really well coping with my anxiety. My son recently split up with his girlfriend of 8 years. He is very depressed at the moment and not coping well. He lives 4 hour drive from me.
Worrying about him has triggered my anxiety and I think this time it is more depression. I feel so helpless. My son is starting counselling tonight which I hope will help him. He started with depression last year and I think that was the cause of the break up.
I really need some support right now to help me through this.
Annie, you have been so generous with your support of others in the past. I'm very sorry that your son is also suffering but he is getting some help and he knows that you will always be there for him. Is there any chance that you could spend some time with him to suss out how he actually is? When you're at a distance you must feel a bit powerless especially when it's someone so very much loved by you?
Ohh annie.you have been a rock on NMP for so many people for soo long,its such a shame to hear you are suffering you dont deserve it ...its natural for a parent to feel pain for a son in a time like this.watching your children in pain is not easy..at least he has you..you can speek on the phone or maybe you can arange a visit..you are very caring Annie and many people on hear will offer you support....hopefuly his counciling will help him through these dificult times
Thank you pulisa and Greg. He is working through the day and staying in a rented room. I will be seeing him again this weekend.
The hardest thing is knowing just how bad anxiety and depression is myself, it makes it even harder to see my son go through it.
I went to work this morning, was supposed to be working 4 hours but after 1.5 hours I broke down and cried and had to come home.
I really wish I was stronger. The last thing I want is for my son to know I am suffering.
If he had gone on the NHS list for counselling he would have had to wait until September! I am paying for him to go private as I want him to be seen straight away before he gets any worse.
Awww Annie such a shame..you have a lot on your mind,with your son not being well.any parent would feel the same.it cant be easy watching a son go through mental health,esp as you have first hand experiance yourself.but your in a good posision to help him,as you know what its all about and how he might be feeling..hes in good hands with you and paying to go private might be a cost but as you say,he will be seen soon rather than latter...try to remember just how possitive and strong you have been in hear for so many people,including me..try to get back some of that strength and energy to suport your son..if anyone can do it,you can...x
Thank you Greg, your comments mean a lot to me.I have managed to get out for a walk this afternoon to deliver some Avon orders. Hubby is away working this week and I don't feel like eating so will just make myself an omelette for tea.
Thats good that you are getting out Annie,helps to clear the mind and help put things in order,also a distraction.i find walking has helped me .hows the avon going? Do you sell much..make sure you force yourself to keep eating tho annie,you dont want to start feeling week.
The Avon is going quite well, I have about 30 customers. It is good for me as it makes me get out.
I have had an omelette and I put cheese and tomato in it. When I am anxious I try to eat little bits more often. My appetite is the first thing to go when I get anxious.
Well the avon sounds like its going well annie and helping to keep you active.good your eating tho annie..funny how anxiety efects us all different,because i feel all the stress iv had over the last two years that i would have lost weight,but instead iv gained 3 stone..lol..bummer,i was only 11 stone two years ago.keep your chin up annie,you will find a way through this setback,you have gone through bad spells before and come out the other side..
I have Greg and that is what keeps me going, I just wish it wouldn't keep coming back. I am really tired as I was awake the whole night with my son on Sunday night, just sitting on his bed while he tried to sleep. I didn't sleep very well last night and I think the lack of sleep has contributed to my anxiety.
Yes annie sleep deprivasion is a fuel for anxiety and depression,rem way back when i wasnt sleeping,i was posting all the rime about not feeling well.sleep is a must,try and get your sleep sorted ,even if it meens a short course of sleeping pills if things get worse, ut is understandable you not sleeping with this worry on your mind,i cant imagin one of my kids falling mental illness it must be hard knowing what they are going through.all you can do is to be strong in front of him and reasure him things will improve in time and he will feel better.tell him you have gone through it and come out the other side.
Yes I remember when you had the sleep problems Greg, it was really bad for you. I had said to my husband I wished I could win the lottery so that I could send you to a sleep clinic :) I try to keep strong when I am with him and he knows about my anxiety. I don't know if that is good for him as he has seen me at my worst.
Yes he may have seen you when you were realy down but he has seen you get through it and come out the other side,so that should give him hope and believe he can to.but unlike you,he has someone who has been through it and understand it,thats you....you will find the strength annie you can do it..
Thank you Greg, I really appreciate your support today. X
No problem Annie.you have been there for me for years.you will get there Annie.small steps.
Sunflower2
27-05-15, 20:03
Annie so sorry to hear you are suffering, but I'm sure that with all your support things will improve soon. I'm sure your son will appreciate how much you worry and care, and for me my mum has really helped just by being there and listening and understanding. Hope things improve soon. :hugs:
I think it's quite normal to absorb some of a loved one's distress when you have experience of the same emotions? Symbiosis or some other fancy term...
He is fortunate to have you giving him both practical and emotional support. Many parents just don't have a clue. Don't be hard on yourself or get alarmed that you feel low-it's perfectly understandable and you should take each day as it comes and prioritise your son which you obviously do anyway.
I do hope that you get some much needed sleep tonight. Lack of sleep makes everything seem so much bleaker as you know.
My son had his first counselling session tonight and I warned him that he may feel drained after and might not want to talk about it so I would understand if he didn't phone me. I had a text from him saying it had gone well and a smiley face.
That's very reassuring for you, Annie. Counselling can be so draining but he was able to text you with positive news. I do hope that this makes you feel a bit better but I realise that you've got a lot to think about and will still be worried for your son.
He's made the first step and it appears to have gone well. I'm sure that you'll find out more very soon. In the meantime look after yourself and try and get some mental rest?
Thank you pulisa, I have just had a cup of lavender tea so hoping to get some sleep tonight.
Things will look better after proper sleep Annie. And I'm sure your son is going to bounce back super fast. Bouts of anxiety and depression don't always have to turn into big deals like a lot of us here suffer from. I've known plenty of people who have a crisis then come out the other side again pretty quickly.
It's good that he has you and the counsellor to talk to about anything on his mind. Have a good sleep and stay optimistic.
The hardest thing at the moment is that he is working in a town where he doesn't know anyone and he will be there until September. I just keep telling him to look ahead to then and to make plans for when he moves again.
MyNameIsTerry
28-05-15, 06:57
He's got you, Annie. You've always be very supportive of people on here and he's going to be getting that on full throttle compared to us so I think he has some great support around him.
So, make sure you come on here and let us return the support you have given out.
You are bound to worry a lot about this as you know just how it feels and how none of us want to see anyone go through it. But your insight will help him to avoid the negative traps that many of us have fallen into.
:hugs::flowers:
Sorry to hear about this difficult time with your son. You have done a lot for him and he is in good hands. As we all know too well, it takes time and patience to come out of these dark places but he will. He has the biggest support on his side too! :hugs:
Thank you Terry and swgrl. I have had a better day today...no crying so that means a good day. One of my friends called in for lunch so that cheered me up :). I will speak to my son on facebook chat tonight. My daughter phoned at 8 am and I panicked thinking it was about my son but it was to tell me her friend had a baby last night. Good news for a change :)
xvolatileheart
28-05-15, 15:48
Annie, you are such a loving and caring mum. Your children are lucky to have you! This situation will pass and I am certain you and your son will both bounce back. In the meantime, take it easy and look after yourselves.
Sparkle1984
28-05-15, 15:49
Hi Annie, I'm sorry to hear about your son's breakup. 8 years is quite a long time to be with a partner, so breaking up now is bound to be difficult. I've never been in a long-term relationship, but if I lost someone I loved for several years, I think it would really hit me hard. I imagine it's a lot like a grieving process, except that you're grieving for the lost relationship.
However, I'm glad you are there to support your son. Even though the situation hurts now, I think time is a healer in these sorts of cases, and things will gradually get easier. Also make sure you take time out to look after yourself. Lack of sleep makes my anxiety worse, too, but then again the anxiety makes it harder to sleep, so it's like a vicious cycle. :hugs:
Annie, you are such a loving and caring mum. Your children are lucky to have you! This situation will pass and I am certain you and your son will both bounce back. In the meantime, take it easy and look after yourselves.
Thank you for your kind words
---------- Post added at 22:40 ---------- Previous post was at 22:38 ----------
Thank you Sparkle. He has spoke on the phone to me tonight but I can tell from his voice that he is not coping well. I will see him on Saturday so will have a talk to him then. Xx
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