mmm1996
31-05-15, 10:39
Hello, I'm not 100% sure how this works as I've just quickly signed up because it seemed like a nice, less scary website than some of the ones I've seen, I've been reading the reassurance other people have been given and I'm a bit scared of putting this out there but going to do it anyway, just in case anyone has any words of advice or reassurance or has been/ is in the same situation.
A few weeks ago I found a lump in my right breast that slides to the left when pressed. I do check my breasts but I found this by being really really thorough and feeling from a certain angle. This is unusual for me but I don't actually remember what made me go looking so thoroughly- this scares me more as I feel like it may have been the localised tenderness to that area I had been experiencing- very mild, but it was there. Also, it may probably not be relevant but I am absolutely tiny in that area so maybe that's why I noticed it more easily. I went to my GP and she listened to all my concerns and examined me thoroughly and couldn't feel anything. Before I left I asked if I could feel for it and guide her to it and she said of course, so I did and she said it felt like normal breast tissue. However, because of the way the lump moves when felt I can tell if it's being felt and I don't think I felt it moving. I must have felt reassured at the time because I left the office then, she told me to stop worrying and stop constantly prodding it and the area.
I suppose I should mention at this point that I do have severe health anxiety and I have done for a long time. I was ok for a few days and then the time came to go on a family holiday and I became extremely anxious about my breast again, and started experiencing some nerve pain- like pains in the side of my breast, under my arm, and tingling, pricking, and tenderness. Both my nipples also felt tender, but now the left one's got better and right one is still a bit tender. The pains I get really scare me as they're localised and can be stabby. I've had some pain on the other one but nowhere near as much. It makes me sad to say this but I ruined my holiday for myself with the anxiety, I know I did. And then I got back, having lost nearly a stone in weight because I just couldn't physically seem to eat much, constant panic and crying etc. I went to my GP again but a different one who knows a lot about my anxiety. He said that he would never normally refer someone my age (I'm 18, nearly 19 by the way) but he knows that I will not stop worrying until it is actually looked at and checked out so he was sending me for an ultrasound. He also didn't examine me as he said he didn't need to and he said he felt the pains could be psychosomatic. I know me saying this makes it sound even more like they are, but they're not psychosomatic, I just know they're not. I'm meant to be going on a clubbing holiday with my friend in a week's time (my appointment could have been in that week) and I feel like I physically cannot cope with this, I don't know what to do.
I have spoken to the breast cancer care helpline quite a bit and have found them extremely helpful. They have highlighted to me how rare it is for someone of my age to have something serious but I cannot not think that I might be that one in half a million or whatever. The lump and pains don't seem to fit the descriptions I've read online for benign fibroadenomas and such. I recognise that I am not a doctor, I'm not medically trained so how can I know what it is. But I'm so so so scared and I've wanted to cancel my holiday but I can't really do that. Also my GP told me, direct quote, to "go on holiday and not give a sh*t- you're too young to worry like this". They are really good and make me feel better but I worry that because of my anxiety they maybe don't think my symptoms are 'real' etc.
Sorry this was so long, I really hope someone sees this and maybe understands. Thank you x
A few weeks ago I found a lump in my right breast that slides to the left when pressed. I do check my breasts but I found this by being really really thorough and feeling from a certain angle. This is unusual for me but I don't actually remember what made me go looking so thoroughly- this scares me more as I feel like it may have been the localised tenderness to that area I had been experiencing- very mild, but it was there. Also, it may probably not be relevant but I am absolutely tiny in that area so maybe that's why I noticed it more easily. I went to my GP and she listened to all my concerns and examined me thoroughly and couldn't feel anything. Before I left I asked if I could feel for it and guide her to it and she said of course, so I did and she said it felt like normal breast tissue. However, because of the way the lump moves when felt I can tell if it's being felt and I don't think I felt it moving. I must have felt reassured at the time because I left the office then, she told me to stop worrying and stop constantly prodding it and the area.
I suppose I should mention at this point that I do have severe health anxiety and I have done for a long time. I was ok for a few days and then the time came to go on a family holiday and I became extremely anxious about my breast again, and started experiencing some nerve pain- like pains in the side of my breast, under my arm, and tingling, pricking, and tenderness. Both my nipples also felt tender, but now the left one's got better and right one is still a bit tender. The pains I get really scare me as they're localised and can be stabby. I've had some pain on the other one but nowhere near as much. It makes me sad to say this but I ruined my holiday for myself with the anxiety, I know I did. And then I got back, having lost nearly a stone in weight because I just couldn't physically seem to eat much, constant panic and crying etc. I went to my GP again but a different one who knows a lot about my anxiety. He said that he would never normally refer someone my age (I'm 18, nearly 19 by the way) but he knows that I will not stop worrying until it is actually looked at and checked out so he was sending me for an ultrasound. He also didn't examine me as he said he didn't need to and he said he felt the pains could be psychosomatic. I know me saying this makes it sound even more like they are, but they're not psychosomatic, I just know they're not. I'm meant to be going on a clubbing holiday with my friend in a week's time (my appointment could have been in that week) and I feel like I physically cannot cope with this, I don't know what to do.
I have spoken to the breast cancer care helpline quite a bit and have found them extremely helpful. They have highlighted to me how rare it is for someone of my age to have something serious but I cannot not think that I might be that one in half a million or whatever. The lump and pains don't seem to fit the descriptions I've read online for benign fibroadenomas and such. I recognise that I am not a doctor, I'm not medically trained so how can I know what it is. But I'm so so so scared and I've wanted to cancel my holiday but I can't really do that. Also my GP told me, direct quote, to "go on holiday and not give a sh*t- you're too young to worry like this". They are really good and make me feel better but I worry that because of my anxiety they maybe don't think my symptoms are 'real' etc.
Sorry this was so long, I really hope someone sees this and maybe understands. Thank you x